Help for sibling rivalry

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AMDragon
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 3/1/2006 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know if it is really sibling rivalry, but lately I am jelous of my sister (older by 2 years). I see all the things she got to do as we were growing up ( mostly as we were teens), and all the stuff she has now, and all the people that want to talk to her and be her friend, and all the attention she gets from our parents. I can't help but feel that she is the favorite and that I am a very sad and not a close second. I wonder sometimes if the depression is so bad because I am seeking a way to get my parents (and others) attention.

silentcry
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 3/1/2006 6:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi AMDragon,

I am the middle child. When my big sis turned 16, my parents bought her a mustang. She took advantage by sneeking out several times, so they took it away from her and sold it. A year and a half later, I turned 16. I got nothing. They still had a bad taste from big sis. Ok so 8 years later, little sis turns 16. They buy her a porche 911. I was already moved out and on my own at that time, but it caused a *sigh*. I never said anything... just took note. My little sister had her own room when she was first born (as she should have). But when she was 3, my parents decided that maybe my big sister could have her own room. HELLO! What about me?? I just set back and made the choice that I had to make this happen. My big sister was a slob. My little sister had her toys strung all over as children do. I am a neat freak. So when they were out playing. I decorated "their" room. I put teen posters on one side of the room and put stuffed animals all over the other wall. They liked it, we shook on it and my parents agreed. I did everything in my life on my own. Anything I had, I earned and bought it myself. I didn't feel sorry for myself, but looking back now I see that I am stronger. Both of my sisters look up to me. The tables turn. When children are given everything, they tend to struggle later in life to fend on their own.

You have your special qualities. You ARE special. Be happy for your sister and make your own unique prosperous path. I believe in you!

Kari

AMDragon
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 3/3/2006 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, I still want her to move out so I can have the room (I am shy and don't like getting up in pjs with my 13 yo cousin in the house, he lives with us since my grandmother who was raising him died years ago). I am after all materialistic *broad grin*.

silentcry
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 3/3/2006 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel for your 13 yr old cousin. That must have been devastating for him. He lived with her day in and day out for all his support, financially and most of all emotional. He is probably feeling as a drifter along with deep feelings of loss.

I also understand your feelings... being pushed out and ignored. It seems there is alot of emotion going on in your home. Try to understand everyone is having a bit of trouble. One way to get your parents attention is to be there for them and your cousin. They will watch your helpful and caring qualities and be drawn that. You know how babies are? It's all about me me me? People don't grow out of that state of thought. If you give attention to them, you shine bright in their eyes. Give and you get back 10 fold. (10 times).

I can tell from your posts that you do want more for yourself. That's an awesome trait! You will have it because you will accept nothing less. This means you will not settle for less and will succeed well in life. You will succeed..... just believe in yourself... I believe in you!

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I know it's rough. But it will pass.

Kari
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