ok, well Im feeling really unhappy, and Im scared that I might be depressed, but I dont know how I know if Im depressed?? Its not like a feeling Iv just come down with, Iv been feeling really unhappy for ages, I would say since I started university in September 2005. I am really unhappy when Im on my own, like now, just sitting in my room by myself. When im with others I put on a mask, and sometimes I am genuinely happy but then as soon as Im on my own Im really unhappy again.
Im really unhappy for loads of reasons, but I think its mainly because Im on my own. Im scared of my future-sill things like, Im scared I'l never find someone who loves me, I'l never find someone who wants to be with me, and my biggest fear is that I will never get married. I have a boyfriend, but we are constantly going through rough patches, and Im scared its because of me, and this whole way of how Im feeling. He lives back home which is miles away and Im here, I cant stand to be around couples, I get so angry and jealous. I get angry because I feel like it should be me and my boyfriend, but he wont come and see me here so I have to go back home to see him, which is 2 weeks a month, if that. When Im with him Im so so happy, we both are, but then I come back home and this all starts again
I feel so pathetic for coming here to ask for help, I do just generally need to talk more than anything, and I dont have anyone here who I feel I can talk to, not without feeling that Im causing a nuisance. Now Iv thought to myself that all these feelings could be because Im depressed its like Iv admitted to myself that I am actually depressed. Like Iv tried to convince my self Im fine, and now Iv realised, I cant change it. I was thinking of going to the drs to see if I can be put on some kind of anti-depressant but two of my friends whom Iv kind of confided in that Im feeling like this, are saying not to and that its not the best route to go down.
Please, someone help me out, am I depressed?
Hannah - sorry to hear that you're not feeling your best right now. Its a tough age that you're at right now, its not that long ago since I was there, but know that it does get better. There's all sorts of reasons for depression and lots of options to help you through the tough times. Since you're in university, the best route would be to head to student health and make an appointment with a doctor or student counsellor. They are excellent resources and can point you in the right direction. They would be able to help you figure out the source of your unhappiness, medical or situational, and a doctor can help you decide if medication is the right route. There are lots of ways to cope and medication can be a good tool when used in the right context - there are no magic pills. If your unhappiness is coming from something external, than its important to resolve those issues and a counsellor can help you work through things so you can learn to better process unhappy situations on your own.
Take care and keep us posted on how you're making out,Putter