Hi Crimson Angel, That is such a pretty screen name. I am glad that you came back on to post, I hope that you continue to do so. Sometimes if you are feeling depressed or stressed it is good just to get your feelings out also we have so many kind people here willing to help or just to listen.
Congratulations on getting your drivers license. That is great!! I know it can be a pain having to ask to borrow the car but just think that you wont be doing it forever. Soon enuf you will have a car and car payment (I am sure) insurance and all the stuff that goes with it. I cant imagine what it must be like to be home schooled. My ex husbands sister teaches her 5 children at home. I always thought that it would get awfully lonely and you wouldn't have the interaction that the other kids that go to regular school do. I went to private school (catholic) and in the 70's when I was a little kid, it was torture going to school with the nuns. I still have nightmares...lol. At least you will get to graduate soon. Do you have colleges picked out? Or are you going to college?
Something you said about the cutting really struck me "I mean yea it takes my mind of things 4 a couple minutes, but after the pain is gone, all my problems come right back....that might not make sense." This makes perfect sense, people who cut themselves have not learned a way to release or express their feelings. They most often have grown up in a house hold that you didn't or weren't allowed to talk about things that were bothering you. So, most people who cut themselves do it as a way to express their feelings but it just doesn't work because as you said as soon as you have done it and the pain is gone the problems are still there. Do your parents know that you cut? I dont know if counseling is an option for you but it maybe a good idea if you want to ask your parents and talk to them about what is going on.
Otherwise, we are here for you anytime you feel the need to vent.....take care