Thanks so much for your reply. I never thought about the link to my femininity, though it makes good sense. I have been nervous about counseling only b/c I don't know how to find a good one and am afraid to go through all the past and find that he or she is not the one who can help me. My husband thinks that I just have to let go and trust him. I do trust him but every month gradually I think he is the enemy, though he is the kindest, strongest person I've ever met.I'm going crazy, but the fact that he has hung in there and believed in me through all this says I must be able to get better. Thanks again.
Thank you so much fleebee, I needed that today (it has been a really bad day for me). You are such a sweetheart too. Healing from the type of trauma that we have been exposed to is difficult and an everyday challenge. But we are strong enuf to get through it. One day at a time. Thank you for mentioning those books I will look into them. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Sadsong - That is so sweet...THANK YOU!! I have felt exactly the same way. This site has helped so much to have been able to find people who go through what I do it amazing. I too look forward to your posts as you have a lot of wisdom and insight to give. You also have a positive attitude and outlook and are a strong woman who isn't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. I admire that in you so much.
I still felt bad yesterday and had lots of chest pain and pressure. I didn't go to the doctor...I know that I should of but I have pre-op today for my Angiogram on Monday. So I am hoping I can get through the weekend without much pain and discomfort. Stress tends to make it worse. It doesn't help that I have a pacemaker wire pulled out of my heart (cardiologist is fixing it Monday) and my heart rate has been low too. I spent most of my day yesterday asleep in my recliner with my fat cat Normandy on my lap, I will most likely be there today too.
I hope you have a wonderful day...