Well, I'm depressed and i feel very much like the person, Irene17, who started this. I don't think I'm so worried about suicide as I am just wasting my days. I used to think I was successful if I could get through a day with some amount of "normal" behavior, and get through a night with at least five hours of sleep. Sometimes I can sleep five hours, then be up two hours and sleep four or five hours again, but most of the time I want to get up early and do something. My husband is my problem. Most everyone has agreed with me on that. He is more depressed than I am, but doesn't see any responsibility to be different or better for others. He thinks it is my job to cheer him up and he uses tender moments to put me down. I haven't felt this ugly or inept since I was a teenager! I've been getting some good idea's, though. I think I'm going to give him a list of things he is allowed to say to me first thing in the morning and I will look for a place to move to in the meantime. If he can keep this up for a given length of time, like two weeks, I may stay. I have an independant income, but it's not very much. I know there is a temptation to just give up, but you can think of it like a physical handicap. Life is just what happens while you are trying to keep moving with this handicap. Most days, you can try to smile at others. You are probably always going to feel alone and unwanted, but some affirmations help and a pet really helps. I don't think anyone is going to appropriately value you or me, or thank you, but you can baby-sit others pets and this can certainly divert you from your problems! There is a terrible low afterwards, when you are sure it wasn't worth it, but just keep trying.
Hi - I hope you dont mind that I started a new thread for your post. This way everyone will be able to see it and reply. I wanted to welcome you to Healing Well forum. We are happy to have you but sorry that it is under these circumstances.
I can totally relate to you about how your husband is treating you and puts you down. My husband did the same thing to me. We are divorced now and still are friends and go out sometimes. Have you seen a counselor together? This may help especially if someone else can tell him that his behavior toward you is abusive. I would suggest that first, I wish I had wanted to go to counseling at the end of my marriage maybe it could of been saved.
Anyway, I also am like you too with animals. I had a Shih-Tzu that was my child but she died last year and broke my heart. I am going to get another one real soon I hope. In the mean time I just have a fat cat.