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Beeze
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 4/17/2006 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Well you are the first person I am telling this to. I am pregnant. I am terrified now to tell this guy because of his ambivolence torwards me. I am happy. I will not terminate another life. I had a terrible day at work and this just tops it off. Please help.
 
Beeze

softy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 798
   Posted 4/17/2006 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Beeze.  Congrats  :-)  .  A new life is truly a blessing.  You know you need to tell the father though.  I wish you luck and a great pregnancy. 
Take care, Softy
 


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/18/2006 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Breeze,  Congratulations!!  It is scary not knowing what to expect but I am sure that you will do what is the best thing for you and your child.  You are a strong woman and can get through this.....we are here

 ~elisha~ 

ways to help support healing well:

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=437927


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 4/19/2006 1:15 AM (GMT -7)   
be strong for yourself and your baby, i hope things will work out well for you and him, and you have to tell the father it's important good luck
                                                     To be or not to Be


Beeze
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 4/19/2006 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   

I have been throuthg hell and back in my life. Maybe others may not agree but they're not in my shoes. My parents divorced when I was only 3 and it wasn't pretty. I grew up in a lonely world where I didn't have any support except when I did what everybody told me and smiled about it. I began my struugle with depression at about 17 and it's been a constant battle to this day. I married an emotionally abusive man who loved and treated his pets better than he ever treated me. I wanted to have a baby with him and he didn't until it was too late. We got divorced and then came along this unexpected friend. Our relationship has always been based on friendship above all but it grew into something more. He was atttentive, compassionate, accepting of my illness, passionate, funny and different. He is not the person I pictured myself with. We are different in so many ways but we have a real connection. Unfortunately through all of this I struggles with his wife/ex and he let her lead the way. That's when I got scared and felt like I was setting myself up like with my husband and I was afraid what others would think. This has been the main issue in my life as far as other peopls'e opinions and approval. I got pregnant twice with him and terminated them both because "it wasn't right". It didn't fit the right picture. My mom was and is always about what looks right. I did break up with him twice but it never ended. We still talked and laughed and had sex. Ironically he then recently tried getting over me and started having feelings for his long time other (girl)friend. He didn't choose. He had a choice and he still slept with me; last week in fact. So I found out Sunday I am pregnant and I am actually happy. It may not be fitting into the right time or situation but it is. I love this man and for the first time I am thinking about what I want. Well the big issue is that he suspects my news but we were suppose to talk last night and he bailed. I am scared because we are supposed to talk today and he said he might kill himself or do something drastic if what I need to tell him is that I am in fact pregnant. Thus ruins his plans with this other girl and it doesn't seem what he would want right now. I know he wants kids but not with me? I know he has feelings for me but he he has feelings for her too. You know a group of co-workers went out dancing 2 weeks ago and he called me beforehand to ask me not to hit on any other guys. SO once again I ask what should I do? Would I have another abortion to appease and make it easier on him? He does have issues but who doesn't? What if he does kill himself or abandon me?  

Help,

Beeze


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/19/2006 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Breeze, As much as I would love to make all of this right for you I cant and neither can anyone else here.  We don't have the magic words for you and perfect insight.  It seems from what you have stated, that you so much on your shoulders and that your relationship with this man is shaky and unreliable.  So you want to continue the relationship with the man but he is giving you mixed signals and making you even more confused then you are ready are.  I would say that you need to decide what you want out of your life and not have it hinge or revolve around some guy.  There are lots of single parents out there so if you want to keep your baby you can and you can tell him he doesn't have to have any responsibility for it at all.  Especially if even the thought of a child makes him suicidal.  It sounds like he is manipulating you and the situation to get what he wants, in my opinion.  But I dont know him so.  I would think about what you want very carefully then talk to him.  Also, you may want to speak to your counselor about this before you make any decisions. 

 ~elisha~ 

ways to help support healing well:

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=437927

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