wanted: an understanding ear 2

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karlo
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/21/2006 5:07 AM (GMT -7)   
    The reason why I posted that an understanding ear was because I meet this guy with my friends and he seemed like  really nice. We talk and he gave me his number and we texted each other. In one of those early morning blues that I have I told him about how I hate my life and he told me that I can be myself and it's okey to text him if I'm feeling down, and I did. Then one day he no longer reply to my text, I use a different name and number to text him and he replied so he must have been avoiding me. And I was like, oh my crap!, i shouldn't have told him. I guess because he's into God's stuff I feel like I can trust and confide at him. I am not mad or angry at him, I can totally understand that he does not want to listen to my whinning, he has has a life you know. He is the only person whom I meet face to face that I told about how I really feel about my life and he basically knows my brother. What if he will told his friends or whoever else about the stuff that I text to him? That would be a real downer, I mean people talking behind your back, that really sucks! I wish i haven't told him, certainly it was my fault....
                                            http//:wackocarlo.blogspot.com  


brownleaf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 765
   Posted 4/21/2006 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karlo,
That makes it a little easier to understand,

First, we all need someone to open up to, no matter what, and sometimes everyone makes a mistake in telling the wrong person, what you say that people may talk behind your back if they find out, is true, but usually if you just carry on like you don't care, then soon it's all forgotten, and perhaps at that point you won't feel so bad, personally i try to live by the tell the world, let them get over it and move on, because they will move to the next peice of gossip soon as it arrives and your stuff will be forgotten.
In the end Karlo, who you are, what you do, and how you do it, as long as you aren't hurting anyone is all that matters, find some friends who you can learn about and learn to trust each other, people who fit with you, do some things that will make you happy, and proud to be you, and leave those who get their kicks from wispering to their unfulfilled lives.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/21/2006 5:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi karlo,  I am sorry that this guy did that to you.  I imagine that is a hard thing to go thru.  You mentioned in your post that "he's into God stuff" did you think that this would make him more responsive to your depression? 

I kind of follow the rule for myself that I dont tell anyone anything personal unless I have known them forever and consider them close friends.  I have a select few that I talk to and I know that they wont break my confidence.

You dont know if he is talking about you behind you back or not do you?  What I would say is ask your brother if he has heard anything from this guy.  If you do find out that he is talking about you than confront him about it.  Hopefully, he isnt saying anything though....


 ~elisha~ 

ways to help support healing well:

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=437927


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/21/2006 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Kari,
I totally agree with brownleaf everyone needs someone to be able to talk to. Although it is easier said than done. I am 36 years old and have had depression ect since I was 12. I never told a sole. Kept it all hidden. And then watched as my life spiraled downhill because of not talking to anyone.
But
I also know that there are alot of people that do not know how to handle someone else's problems. They have a loss for words and then end up avoiding you because they do not know what to do. I lost all of my so called friends when I filed for divorce from my abusive ex husband. At first I was angry. But I realized it was just because they felt lost.
Another thing. just because someone goes to church that does not mean they have super healing,or super understanding powers.
On your road to healing,you just need to find that person that will listen,and not turn their backs on you.
Do not get frustrated,and do not give up. You need someone to talk too and you will find that person.
Even if it is using this board to put your feelings on,it is at least getting the feelings out,and no one on here will turn their backs on you. This board has helped me in so many ways.
Good luck and do not let one person get you down.
shynsassy@healingwell.net


Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


karlo
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/22/2006 5:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys for the reply, I am not mad or angry at him at all. After all it was my fault anyway, I am the first one to open up to him. I was kinda planning to text him that what I told him is just a joke, but I don't know if he will believe me. I was just thinking maybe if I did not told him about how I feel about my life he would still be my friend. Well, that's just a question you know. It's just that I've been depress since I was 13 and I am turning 31 next month and he is the first person whom I meet in person who I basically told about my **** up feeling. So it was really a big deal for me. I guess life really sucks you know...
(feel free to add me to your yahoo chat i.d.- karlo_laureno@yahoo.com)


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/22/2006 6:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi karlo,  I cant help but feel that if I were in your situation I would just let it go.  Ya know?  Like not texting him or trying to continue to have a relationship with this person.  Especially if you feel like you cant trust that he will keep what you have told him private.  Why bother?  In the meantime how perhaps you should try to seek out a counselor for your feelings of negativity on your life...It may help if you have someone who is objective to speak to on a regular basis....Just a suggestion.  Take care

 ~elisha~ 

ways to help support healing well:

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=437927


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/22/2006 10:22 PM (GMT 0)   
Hi Karlo -

It sounds like you've already received quite a bit of good advice. The first time I was depressed I was 16 and I
used to write down all of my negative feelings. I gave this huge collection of thoughts to a person who I trusted,
unfortunately she wasn't able to deal with it. I was confused, ashamed, and hurt. That was the first time I had
opened up to someone else and I was left feeling even more depressed, since my feelings were ignored. I am
31 now and have begun to tell more and more people, but I am still some times faced with the same response.
But, then again I can't always deal with my friends or family all the time either and sometime I need a break
from them. So, what I'm getting at here is that we all need our own space sometimes, so please don't blame
yourself for someone else's inability to be there for you.

karlo
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/23/2006 5:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, thanks guys for the advice... I guess it would be better for me if I just let him go. I mean, not texting him any more.... Thanks for your time guys, it really difficult dealing with depression especially in a country like ours. I am from the Philippines by the way and depression is not really much of a big deal here. It's not being talk about and not much paid with attention so it's really tough. Thanks again to all...

http//:wackocarlo.blogspot.com


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 4/23/2006 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Your welcome Karlo.  We are always here so if you do ever feel the need to talk to someone were just a click away....take care

 ~elisha~ 

ways to help support healing well:

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=437927

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