My brother's accident.

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niteorchid
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/30/2006 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I started with cosmetology school, thinking I would enjoy it, but slowly as time went on my hatred grew day after day towards it. I have been going to the school for ten months now and I only have four to go, but for some reason this part of it has been the worst and hardest to handle. This is only part of my problem.
 
Back on Super Bowl Night, my brother was driving to IOWA after a party, he fell asleep to the wheel and hit head on with a semi-truck, in his dinky little white car. He survived, but ended up being paralyzed from his chest down. Now he just turned nineteen a couple weeks ago and he was eighteen when this happened a couple months ago. I am 20 years old and for the first time in my life I feel like I have grown up. I cannot believe something like this has to happen to open my eyes and see what I really have really done in my own life. It has secluded me from my parents, because they're busy with my brother.  I have found that I am becoming more and more independent, growing further away from my parents. I love John so much and worry about him, because he has a fully functional brain and he still scored a 32 on his ACT score. He just can't move his body. But with this going on, I have no one to turn to, other than my fiancee who I've been with for five years now.
 
My fiancee is the only one who knows that I have been cutting my wrist, which I know sounds like something lame and retarded and I know it sounds like I'm just searching for attention. But really I am just looking for what will calm me down. I just heard that it relieves some people from their pain, so why shouldn't I try it? So I tried and I liked it. I cussed a few bad words and said I don't give a darn anymore and just cut myself. I didn't feel any pain what so ever. I guess to me cutting myself, and not feeling the pain I should feel when you get cut, is reasurring to me. It makes me sometimes start to believe that maybe I don't have to feel the pain I am feeling inside if I can't feel it on the outside. I know that still sounds lame, but I'm not just being a big baby and I think that is what most people think of people like me. I am really just venting, but if someone has something to reply I would greatly appreciate your concern and help. I am praying for all of you guys who are going through similar struggles in your lives.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/1/2006 4:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi niteorchid,  I wanted to welcome you to healing well forum.  I hope that you are able to find the kind of support and help that you are looking for here.  We have so many great people always willing to help.

What I was wondering was what you were like before your brothers accident?  Have you ever had bouts of depression before?  Something serious like this can cause you to have depression and feel stressed.  Worry and concern over your family and the possibility of what could happen to your brother in the future and the changes that it has made to your life.  As I am sure that it has impacted you in many ways, such as taking some of your parents attention away from you since they are busy taking care of your brother.  It is easy to feel left out and neglected when you have a sibling that requires more attention, regardless of the circumstances.  But I just wanted to point out that something like this accident happening should make a family grow closer together instead of further apart.  Maybe talk to your parents about how you feel...but I do think it would be a good idea for you to seek out a counselor or psychiatrist to talk to.  Someone who is unbiased in their opinion and can assess you for depression.

Are you cutting yourself to alleviate guilt that you feel or to gain attention that you feel your lacking?  Either way if this is a behavior you have just started to do I would suggest that you stop doing it as it can lead to something very serious the more and more you continue to do it.  Also, it can cause infection and scars that you will have for the rest of your life.  I am going to post a website on cutting below for you to check out please do look at it.  It is geared toward teens but it is really a great site.

I didnt get the feeling that you were venting...I am glad that you were able to express your feelings here.  This is a safe place for you to be able to do that without worring about being judged or critized.  Continue to post...trust me it does help.  Take care...

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html



CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 5/1/2006 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Adding my welcom and voted in the only options you gave that was close to my thoughts. Maybe you are too much like me and see the worlk in Balck and White. I am searching to see the shades of grey. there are many more options than listed there. ONe being to get help to hanldle work, school, brother's condition from a professional. I know talk therapy helped me chart the way throughn a very difficult course.

Glad you found us, keep us posted on how you are doing. You are family now, and we will worry about you.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

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