Hi starrnr, I just wanted to write and tell you that I know how you feel completely. I was always a very healthy person physically until august of 2001 when I all of a sudden had symptoms of a stroke on my right side. After many tests I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I had been married for a year and half at this time even though we had been together for 7 year prior. He couldn't handle the fact that I was sick and things had changed and was totally not supportive so we divorced in 2004. This past august while I was getting ready for work I started to feel dizzy and just all of a sudden passed out in the middle of my living room floor. My mom who came by that morning found me unconscious 30 minutes later and got me to the hospital. I had extremely low blood pressure and low heart rate called bradycardia. Ended up with a pacemaker to keep my heart rate up but still have trouble with my BP. The end result was a diagnosis of Multiple System Atrophy an autonomic disorder that is in the Parkinson's family and is most often times fatal within several years of diagnosis.
I already had depression to begin with and it took me a few years to come to grips with even the idea of the MS and what it was doing to my body. Then the divorce and it relating so much to my disease process. Now something new...I dont think it has even still sunk in as it doesnt seem real to me. Since last August though I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a regular counselor as a lot of my depression is wrapped around my health issues. They are very supportive regarding this. I hope you find what your looking for...take care
Hey Cranky, I like you screen name. I felt the need to respond. I dont have an answer for you and probably am not going to be much help but here goes anyway....
My mother who is the most beautiful person in the world is 51 yrs old. 5 year ago she was a little over 200 pounds overweight. Had really bad knees from Degenerative Joint Disease and also 4 leaky heart valves (mitrovalve prolapse). She is a nurse at one of our two local hospitals, she was going to work in a wheelchair every night. I am sure she would of qualified for disability but I dont think it ever entered her mind to do that or go that route...not that there is anything wrong with it. She had Bilateral knee replacements done at the same time. Had a excellent surgeon but the recovery was terrible. It did get her out of the wheelchair and able to walk again. Two years ago she had Gastric Bypass done and has lost all of her weight except maybe 15 pounds. She complaints about all the skin though.. . She goes to the gym and works out for an hour and half on her days off and jogs the rest of the time. Next month she is going in to have 2 of the 4 valves replaced which is by far the scariest surgery and most risky. She was chronically depressed due to her health and circumstances but somehow was able to over come it. For that she is truly amazing in my eyes...I'm not just saying that because she's my mom .
I do have a lot of health issues myself but I have found that I really dont spend a lot of time worrying about it. I wake up with the resolve that and how my body feels is not going to determine my state of mind. I try to be as healthy as possible and let higher powers worry about the rest.