Pushing others away

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WorkNProgress
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 5/20/2006 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
In reading another thread this resonated with me.  I did not wish to highjack the thread, so I thought I would start another.  
I am great at putting up walls when I am hurt, sad or overwhelmed.  Sometimes I see my walls going up,but have no idea how to let them down.  I know it can wear on other people's patience.  Sometimes, I wish they (dh for example) would fight twice as hard to help me lower the walls.  But I can't find the words that say "help me".  So I end up twice as lonely, depressed, and even angry.  

mysticdreamer
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 5/20/2006 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
well i hear you there walls indie of us supposedly use to protect us have unintentional/ intentoly have costed me many friend it is very diffcult to let good careing ppl in our lifes

brownleaf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 765
   Posted 5/20/2006 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ya,
I think just telling people who you are and seeing what you tell them as a passing breeze, that no matter how they respond, they will forget it after a while, the reason you tell others is to allow the positive outcome of your hurt to surface, and it will, you will start to see how this hurt changed you, and how it made something stronger within you, it may not be what you wanted, at that point, but that will change too

Keeping things inside not only makes you more fearful, and lonely, it has a guilt factor, that once you release this hurt, can no longer exist,
The most powerful protection for yourself is vulnerability as it makes others calm and trusting in yoour presence, and silently asks their understanding, and also allow them to lower their walls, think about it, only a coward would hurt someone who is vulnerable

Twinstride
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 5/20/2006 10:52 PM (GMT -7)   
2yinerous, are you currently taking depression medication and is it helping if you are?
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hope3
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 5/21/2006 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
2yinerous, I have the same problem as you do, as well as alot of other people i am sure. I'm just now learning how to tear down those walls and I still have a long way to go. You have come to the right place for help. This is where I am learning how to open up and heal. It will take time, but if you learn how to trust enough to open up to people here, it will definately make a big difference in your life. I wish you all the best. Talking and laughter are the best medicine, I think, and you can do both here. Take Care and hope to hear from you soon!

~Wanda~
 


WorkNProgress
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 5/21/2006 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Twinstride said...
2yinerous, are you currently taking depression medication and is it helping if you are?

Hi Twinstride. not on meds now. I was on Paxil for 2 years.  Then on Zoloft. I weaned myself off  months ago

WorkNProgress
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 5/21/2006 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   

thank you wanda

i am learning to laugh a bit here

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