The words that you said had nothing to do with your father dying. You have no power in this way. You remember them too much. Your father probably didn't remember them at all if he was drunk at the time. You are at a difficult age when most people question their self-worth. When I felt that way at your age it was hard to face anything. However, I had a poster of a waterfall on my wall. On it was written, " Life is nothing if not a daring adventure." Helen Keller said this. She was deaf and blind from birth and she ended up going around the world giving lectures. She had so much more to face than anything I went through so thinking of her courage made me take my life in hand. My suggestions are: If you really want to go in the army and are not doing it to escape yourself then I would make a new start today. I would look in the mirror and OUT LOUD tell my self, " You said things in anger that you did not mean but you are forgiven for that." Then I would go for a ten minute run to start to prepare for going in the army. (An easy amount of time so no risk of failing!) Choose something healthy for mealtimes and no snacks today. Immediately, a positive start has been made and you will feel better. Repeat tomorrow... You were happy when you were sporty before. Running releases feel good endorphins into your body. Put a poster on the wall that inspires you. Just suggestions of things that have helped me. Hope you feel better soon.
Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 5/30/2006 9:09:37 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 5/30/2006 9:07:50 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 6/2/2006 8:30:01 AM (GMT-6)