Post Edited (Akram) : 6/4/2006 5:53:39 AM (GMT-6)
Yes, It does give you a buzz being chased by another man, especially if your husband is not around as much as you would like. However, if you care for your husband and deep down you love him, then, when the bubble bursts and he finds out, the fear of losing him,the self-loathing and the realisation of what you had that was good could make you feel sick to the core both physically and mentally.
But even then the feelings that you will be having will be nothing compared to the feelings that your husband will have if he loves you.
Say no tomorrow when the boyfriend asks you for lunch and DONT let yourself have the pleasure of him having to persuade you!!!!!!! Say no and switch the phone off. It's hard to be firm when you care for him but he will be hurt just as badly as you if deep down he loves his wife as you do your hubby. Sorry if this sounds like a lecture!
Hi krocks, I think there are several things that I would see as indicators of guy #2 not being as straight with you as he says....One being that before your affair began and you first went to his house and had pizza even though nothing had happened at this point he felt it was necessary to lie to his wife about it. Even though you were mutual friends with both him and his wife. Also, that he has the type of job that allows him to keep odd hours to which his wife wont question what he is doing out late so many nights. He rearranges his schedule to spend that time with you instead and still he knows he can get away with it? This would lead me to think that he has done this before even though he probably said that he had never had an affair or cheated on his wife before. Just seems too neat and convenient for him. But regardless, you still feel that you click with the guy in a lot of ways right? Most of which physically but keep in mind that this is usually only temporary or lasts for 6 months or a year or so if your lucky. After that you have to work to keep things going in the right direction. Maybe you have some of the same interests with guy #2, I don't know. I do know that any meaningful long lasting relationship is hard work and dedication to each other. Most of my relationships have sucked and I am divorced now, its not a fun road to go down. I had been with the man I married for 7 years before hand and we lived together for most of that time. I suspected that he cheated on me a few times but could never prove it. I ended hooking up with a guy that I had went out with when I first moved here. His name was Chris and he was my first everything, we went out for a year and it was a rocky relationship but we had all kinds of chemistry and zings if you know what I mean. When I cheated it was for like a two week period but afterward I felt so guilty about it. I never admitted to my boyfriend then husband that I had cheated. Even now I still see Chris around town and some times will talk to him he has 5 kids and is still married (he was when we hooked up that time) and the physical part is still there but there just isn't anything else. Picture how your life would be with this guy...you would be home maybe taking care of a kid or two and he would be dragging his tail home at 2-3am and you would always question what he was doing or up to since you know better than his wife.
That is wonderful that your husband when to the doctor and did the test. That is a step in the right direction. It shows hes trying.