No Life.. Depressed?

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steven87
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/13/2006 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought I'd put this here since I can't really find any place else.. (forgive my english)

I'm an 18 year old male, I have no real friends, and since I quit school I now spent all of my days in my room behind my pc or watching tv trying not to think about my life. I have no future since I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I also feel like doing nothing. Everytime I have to go outside the house feels like to much trouble.
I don't feel like getting a job or an education since I don't feel anything will improve my life in any way. I can't make any friends this way and I also feel like I won't make friends in "getting out more": I hate going out, I always hated school and I suck at sports so there really is no easy way for me to make any friends.

I have lost hope and seriously doubt if my life will ever improve. I fear I have some kind of social disorder, if so I must have always had it. But my life did not start really going downhill until I was 14. I then still had some friends not many but about 3, it was then that a few kids from my class started picking on me. Not much really just infecting me with headlice and sometimes cursing at me if they had the guts. Then they started spreading bullcrap about me and I felt like the entire school was against me. I don't think that this in the end mattered a bit since I don't make friends easily anyway.

I now have one person I knew from school I regulary talk to online and that's it. My parent's started calling therapist etc. But I seriously dont think that talking about my depression and possible anxieties will be of any help.

I'm not that depressed: If I had a girlfriend and a life I would be very happy I'm sure, I'd probably forget all about my wasted life in a minute. Also if I had a life I would find reason in getting outside the house. But now things are just to ****ed up for me to handle I feel. sad

brownleaf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 765
   Posted 6/13/2006 11:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Steven,
When you feel like this its hard to see any light, and its easy to doubt everything incl what may help. so i think if the therapist is a good one, you may find it a great help,

Be your own friend first, define what you want, and what you need for your life, make a stratergy of how someone else would go and make those things happen, and be as open as you can, isn't quite possible that you have a gift hidden away inside you that you either don't know of or deny, learn to be creative, write, paint, express yourself with what you feel comfortable with, but you have to try, as many new things as you can, no matter what it may be, make choices for yourself, because each one is a block to a better life, however you may want it to be

One question, is sitting at home inside, improving your life ?, thats a choice, so is working, neither may directly improve anything but at least working you can afford to make little improvements that you feel good about

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/14/2006 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Steven
Let me start by first telling you that I have an 18 year old daughter.
I know she had a huge bout of depression this year and almost did not graduate.
It does not help that I am a major depressant,so I could only do my best to help her.
When I lost my job,I fell into the deep hole and did not think I would ever emerge. Hiding out,not wanting to go anywhere,not thinking I had any type of future ect ect.
First of all..finding a girlfriend is not going to be your magic pill. The main reason is because you are depressed. And quite frankly most people can not handle it. So,what I am saying is you have to start on the healing road before you plan on bringing someone else in your life.
If finding a girlfriend is a major plan for you.Then sit down and make a list of what you should accomplish and start your plan.
What about going back to school? Or at the very least getting your GED? Then look for a job. Let me tell you,having money in your pocket helps alot. Then get out of your room,and try to go to at least one event a week with friends.
Getting out of the house and being around other people that are not depressed can be a major help.
I do not have internet at work yet,so I am only around early in the morning or at night. But,I hope to hear from you.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/14/2006 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Steven,  Welcome to healing well.  Brownleaf and ShynSassy have given you some excellent suggestions and advice.  The only thing I would add to that is that you can not rely on others to make you feel better or good about yourself.  As brownleaf said you have to be your own friend first, you have to learn to like yourself first before you can expect anyone else too.  I would also encourage you to see a therapist as if you do have an anxiety disorder or possibly depression it can easily be treated and managed.  Your still young now but time does go by very quickly.  It may help to have some ideas on what you want to do with your life.   I hope you continue to post here as this forum (healing well) is a wonderful place to find support and information from real people who are going through the exact same thing you are.  That sometimes is very difficult to find.  Take care


 


steven87
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/14/2006 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for the replies.

I agree it's better to do something than to stay at home

I actually got a job after I quit school. But I was fired because I was to slow and it wasn't exactly fun anyway with collueges being annoyed with me etc. I just find it difficult to do normal stuff. I just feel I have lost the motivation to start a life.

Plus other people just don't understand how I feel. They think I live in the same world as them but actually my world is completely different from theirs.

Also I haven't been outside much beside's school in the past four years so I kinda feel I don't really understand what kind of options I have.

I thought of getting my driver license but somehow I just did not see any reason to it.

But yea I will start therapy soon and try to find something to do to get outside of the house.


ericMD1971
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/26/2006 2:02 PM (GMT -7)   

To Steven 87

I am very sorry to hear about your troubles.  Many of your issues and problems were mine, about 20 years ago.  I am a physician who was diagnosed with ADHD this past year, but the diagnosis should have been made when I was your age.  If it had, I might have avoided years of suffering and extra struggle. 

As I read what you wrote, some thoughts come to mind.  The first thought is, that you need to see an intermal medicine physician to rule out certain medical diagnoses that sometimes present as a mood disorder.  Although your troubles might not have a medical cause, wouldn't it be nice if something as simple as a slow thyroid, or other endocrine problem were in part to blame.  At least these problems are easy to fix.

That having been said, I suspect that at least some part of what is troubling you is depression.  The depression can either be primary (that is, the main problem), or secondary (that is, incident to another problem).  Regardless of which it is, two people need to see you.  The first is a psychiatrist with experience in pharmacology (to pick the right med) and a cognitive behavioral therapist (coping strategies and stress management).  Studies show that people who have both medications and therapy do better than either strategy alone.  I hope you will consider getting some professional help. 

I am unusual in that I don't only treat depression, ADHD, etc... but I have been living with depression for many years and have suffered through ADHD for at least that long.  When I was your age, I used to think that I was just fundamentally different from everyone else.  Social situations that other people actually ENJOYED, would terrify me.  I withdrew from my peers, my family, and I too spent a lot of time alone, wondering if things would ever change. 

I feel so badly for you, because as I read your letter, I can see myself and relive the pain that I went through.  Do you feel that the world is out to get you?  Do you believe that on the whole people are bad?I learned to cope by ignoring the world, and as odd as it sounds sought revenge by excelling in school and study.  I would study twice as hard as anyone else, and used to love breaking the curve in a difficult chemistry class.  It was PAYBACK!!!  As I didn't care much about making friends, it didn't much matter to me that I was not popular.  I had my circle of friends and my family.  That was enough for me.

That worked pretty well for about 12 years, but gradually I came to realize that there is more to life than work and academic achievement.  People really aren't out to get you any more than they were out to get me.  Sometimes, you just need someone to open your eyes, and show you that the world (and the people that live in it) is good, and to lend you a helping hand.  I took the same advice that I just gave to you and got diagnosed and treated.

I have a beautiful daughter, a great wife and a busy practice.  Although I understand Depression and ADHD much better than I did, every year remains a struggle.  Chronic Depression is a lifelong problem, just like Diabetes.  It can be managed but not really cured (depending on who you ask).

I hope that you can learn from my difficult time, and get the help that you need and deserve.  You are NOT alone.

Sincerly,

Eric MD.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/27/2006 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi eric,  I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to healing well forum.  We are happy to have you and your advice and input.  This forum is a wonderful place to find support and information from people who are going through the exact same struggles, no matter if it is us needing support or helping someone else.  I hope you continue to post and visit us often.  Take care.


 

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