Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 6/29/2006 6:15:07 AM (GMT-6)
It sounds like you resolved some issues at least and that is what counts. Your right...you have had years of building walls, learning how to protect yourself on the inside because you couldn't do it on the outside. So just because you may be in a "safe" environment now it is still going to take a long time and a lot of hard work for you to be able to let your guard down. You may not even recognize your doing it as it is so ingrained within you. I still do too, whenever there is yelling or I see a man who resembles "him" or I'm walking and a car slows down, I may not be paying attention to what is going on but my mind and body know and that is when it hits panic mode. It has become so ingrained to protect itself. Counseling helps some, but by far it is my antidepressant that keeps me together.
I agree with you 200% on anyone who says "get over it" or "they cant hurt you anymore". That doesn't matter because the damage has already been done and if that person has been in my shoes and lived my life or lived your life Shy then they really need to not be saying those things. My ex husband used to say stuff like that to me, I don't think he was trying to be insensitive but I know that there was no way he could ever possibly understand what I had went through or what I was feeling. So I stopped talking to him about it and it was one of the things that came in-between us as my torment built up and I couldn't control it or my thoughts and feelings. When you tell someone something like what you went through, then to have them say something like that it is almost like it is like they have a total disregard for your feelings and the amount of trust that you put in them by telling them something so personal.