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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/25/2006 9:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Whenever I need someone they are not there.
My b/f proved that to me this weekend. When I needed him the most he left.
I am so tired of being there for people when they need someone only to be left alone when I need someone.
Is it that hard to just hold the one you love and tell them it is going to be ok?
I dont find it hard to do that.
I do not think it is worth telling someone that you love them,giving them everything that you can give
You only end up hurting in the long run,craving to be held at the times you need it the most.
I am tired and I am not sure I can do this anymore. I fight just to act somewhat normal,to not show how I trully feel. Try not to cry all of the time. I am so tired and I am thinking it is not worth it anymore.
I am tired of being a burden,tired of pretending,tired of hurting
I am sorry but I am not sure I can do this anymore
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 6/25/2006 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been guilty of doing the same your BF did in the past with my wife ,alot of the time not knowing I was really wanted to be there as sometimes I got the feeling I wasnt wanted when I really was ,I have learned over the years when I am "required " to be there and when I can not be there but something I did awhile ago was went out and bought my wife a special teddy bear and told her when I am not there when you really need me take the teddy and hold it tight because althioughI may not be there pysically I am theer in thought ..I know it sounds silly but my wife has done that in the past and has told me when I am there how that little bear has helped her thru alot when nobody else could.
One other thing perhaps your meds are not helping you the best they can ..we just went thru a real bad spell and come to find out her meds leveled off and she had to get them upped .
thinking of you and you should never give up ....thats whet those demons wnt...stay strong shy

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 6/26/2006 5:19 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm very sorry about what is going on with your b/f, it really sounds that he's unfair to you
It seems to me you have an issue with communication. how long you bin toghether?
also have you opened the subject with him? I think you need to do that, it might help.
and FYI there isn't a relationship that does'nt have issues and arguments even talk about leaving each other.

I wish you the best of luck :)
                                                     To be or not to Be

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/26/2006 5:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh Shy, I hate to hear you talk like that, you are so much stronger than you even realize or give yourself credit for.  You have been through so much trauma and hurt in your life and to be able to pull yourself up and go on is an amazing feat.  Especially to do so without medication, I couldn't live with my antidepressants I know I would be very bad off if I even tried.
Your working a lot of hours and worked very hard to find a job which was extremely stressful for you.  Then you stress over trying to keep up with how you ran the house before you got the job.  Not to mention that you are going to have days when you think about the past, it has made up who you are and changed you forever.  Men just cant understand all of that (sorry guys if I offend you by this).  Maybe the problem is that he just didn't realize that you needed him to stay and give you support instead of leaving for the weekend which was the worst thing he could of done.  Or maybe if he would of sat down and talked to you and tried to understand and listen to you then things wouldn't of blown up as much as they did.  I don't know...but I do know that guys just don't think the same as females.  And your boyfriend knowing all that you have been through most likely just doesn't realize exactly how much you really struggle with it everyday to cope and have a normal life.
Your a good person Shy, don't give into it.  I am sending you (((hugs)))...have a good Monday.


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