The strong will survive.

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ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
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   Posted 6/29/2006 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been on this site for awhile now..do not consider myself an expert at all. I have so many demons that I am trying to overcome that I sometimes wonder how I do it.
This morning while reading thru the posts,I started thinking about the outside world.
The people that are first to tell you to basically not dwell on the past to only think about the future.
That is good advice,but I wonder about those people. I wonder if they were put in the shoes of the people that post on this forum if they would be so quick to give that advice.
I wonder if they would be able to go out and face the world and put on their best smile when needed.If they would know how to say that everthing was fine when in reality they felt like the world was closing in on them.
I have made previous posts about people not knowing how good they really have it. How they take things for granted. And I think that if they had to live one day in our shoes,their outlook on life,and their compassion would change dramatically. I think I have more compassion than some of my friends for other people,just because I know from experience that what you see on the outside is usually not what is on the inside.
I am usually the first person to be there for someone when they are down. I try to make sure I am always available just to listen to someone talk. I would never dream of cutting that person off just because I can not relate to what they are saying.
I think that when life becomes harsh,and you are able to survive it.Then you will be able to survive almost anything. You have better survival skills than most. Even though you wish you could be more knieve about things as that means your past was not tarnished. But,at least you know you are strong.
This is for everyone that posts on this site. And this is for myself too,as I need a better outlook on life and I need to keep telling myself that If I can survive what I have been through,the rest of life should be a piece of cake.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


FamilyGuy
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   Posted 6/29/2006 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Amen...
Jon
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet
 
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els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
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   Posted 6/29/2006 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   

I often look at my friends and others and think the same thing (how weird is that?)...very well said Shy



Elisha

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shell67
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Date Joined Nov 2005
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   Posted 6/29/2006 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   
That last line hit me hard and i agree shy......if i can survive what i have already been through, the rest should be a breeze right??? I wish....;) there are so many that take things/life for granted. I hope im never one of them. take care and stay positive, the strong will def survive :)
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


PugandherPeeps
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Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 6/29/2006 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   

I heard something in a group once that changed my perspective. My mother is a survivor of childhood rape, orphaned at 2, orphanage then foster care for thirteen years where she was beat on a regular basis. Served in the British Army during WWII and survived many bombings. Then she married my dad, a US soldier, came to the states and was beat on a regular basis for over five years. She had 8 children (one died of malnutrition) and 4 miscarriages in 12 years. The family lived in total poverty until my alcoholic dad decided to sober up and change things.

I tell you all this for a reason. My mom is a survivor. A survivor is someone who lives through something. But she has lived a bitter, angry, resentful, paranoid life for 83 years. She has refused therapy and/or medication. She has lived a long and terrible life but yes, she is a survivor.

No disrepect to this post, just something to think about. I do not want to be a "survivor." I want to be a "thriver." There is a huge difference.Think about this and maybe it will change your perspective also.


I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said, "That cannot be true. You haven't met everyone yet!"


cajunbrat
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Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 186
   Posted 6/29/2006 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Shy, so why can't we get that through our thick heads??? Pug, that's a great perspective also.

Thanks bunches!
~Kathy~


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
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   Posted 6/29/2006 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I know Kathy...that is why I think we need to remind ourselves sometimes,and keep reminding ourselves!
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


hope3
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Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/30/2006 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   
ShynSassy, you couldnt have said it better. I often think the same way when I know people are judging me. I also try not to judge anyone too quikly because you don't know what they have been through to make them who they are. I'm so glad you wrote this post and maybe it will make more people more compassionate towards others.
 


hope3
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/30/2006 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Pug, I just wanted to say that thank you for the post. It does give us something to think about and maybe even change our lives.
 


els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 6/30/2006 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
PugandherPeeps said...My mom is a survivor. A survivor is someone who lives through something. But she has lived a bitter, angry, resentful, paranoid life for 83 years. She has refused therapy and/or medication. She has lived a long and terrible life but yes, she is a survivor.
Hi Pug,  I wanted to tell you first welcome to HW and the Depression forum, we are happy to add you to our wonderful supportive group here.
I just wanted to say in relation to your mother, that yes she most certainly is a survivor and each person has to reach inside themselves to find the way to go on day by day when something terrible or traumatic has happened to them.  However, when these things happened to your mother was a different time and they were not discussed.  It wasn't acceptable to aire your business in public, if you went to see a psychiatrist for any reason you would have a real fear of being institutionalized.  Medications weren't readily available and depression or even most psychiatrist disorders weren't acceptable and recognized.  So people back then who went through horrific events had no choice but to deal with it on their own.  It wasn't really until the late 80's that most of the common mental disorders became recognized and therapy/counseling became more available to people.  I think that is very sad, and commend your mother for being able to get up everyday and function no matter if she is angry, bitter, and paranoid.  Thank you for sharing that.

Elisha

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Joan M
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 7/2/2006 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
All good thoughts here on this thread. Thank you everyone for your words. My Mom was real nice but had a "nervous breakdown" when I was 8. My Dad died too. I went to 8 grammer schools (out in California, Arizonia and mostly New York) and was very mixed up. I focused a lot on school work but eventually the whole mess got to me and I "cracked up" too.
 
There was such prejudice against mental illness then. In fact this prejudice still exists but is not as bad now. My whole family was against my Mom; but I noticed nobody helped us. Just critical comments, etc.
 
Thank goodness I met my husband who was so good to me. I began to truly thrive and am still doing ok, I guess. But I have some other horrible health problems like asthma and GERD and arthritus, IBS, etc.
 
All health problems are horrible and that I guess is just my opinion. Good vibrations are being sent to all.

hillynicky
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 7/6/2006 2:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,
All the posts in this thread are great. You gave me some very good insight. Thank you...

susan35
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 7/24/2006 4:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Shy

I agree - I define surviving as a positive step - living a happy fulfilled life rather than giving up ! I came to this forum feeling very depressed and low but have found your thread a very positive one - I think that little self-critical voice inside me is my biggest enemy - I find that when I muster up enough energy to bypass that voice - I feel better and stronger. Unfortunately there are still times when I succumb to it and let myself get down. The enemy is unfortunately within me but fortunately so is my savior - the interesting part is seeing who will win!

Than you for the insightful and curiously encouraging post !

Susan

LondonGirl22
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 7/25/2006 2:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Well said shy!

Its lovely to hear positivity. I feel happy with myself when Ive got through a day. I feel like Ive 'survived'.

What an encouraging post shy

Thankyou
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


CounterClockwise
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 7/25/2006 2:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Great thread, Shy -- thank you!

I've been thinking a lot recently about whether I need to go to my doc about how I'm feeling at the moment. As usual, I've been dwelling mostly on the bad and how going on meds again would be a step back (despite much more sound advice that I find myself able to give to others). Your post reminded me of what I think of as my survival instinct -- the little something inside me that unfailingly over the past 10 years has kicked in when I hit rock-bottom and walked me to the doc. It's kicked in this time too by making me book counselling and getting me here. That may be enough, but I have to recognise that it may be the relief of getting counselling and having such support here that's delaying it taking me to the doc and that it'd be better to check in with the doc and let her decide on this now than to risk things bottoming out again and wait for my survival instinct to pull me somewhere at that point. That's made me realise that going to the doc now could be counted as a success -- a slightly more pre-emptive strike than usual that means I'm getting more able to handle my bouts of depression.

Which made me want to say this: everybody who's made it to this board must have their own little survival instinct. We've all put at least one thing in place to give us support in a time of crisis, whatever stage of depression we're at, and whatever other help we've sought out (or not). So here's to us, and to that little something inside us that knows the best thing to do when we're struggling.

All best wishes and virtual pats on the back to all! ;)

Rosie

ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/25/2006 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Well said Rosie,everyone has survival instincts of some kind. It amazes me how they can kick in when you feel that you are not able to take another breath.
I had to learn how to survive when I was a young child. And when I sit back and think about the situations that I was put in at such a young age,I wonder how I learned the survival instincts at that young age.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


Joan M
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1978
   Posted 7/25/2006 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, shy and everybody...today the polie came by and visited me because kids have been urinating in our garbage room, on the bushes, etc. They leave a trail of toilet paper. Simultaneously, I had a call into my doctor about my gastrointestial problems. I felt alittle wierd and overwhelmed and everything. But then I said, I have had worse problems than this. This is nothing and I got though both messes.

I am strong, I am woman, I can do anything.

shell67
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 7/25/2006 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Joan, Congrats! you are right, we have to be strong or we wouldnt have gotten this far! Im happy you made it through with such flying colors, probably much better than i would have done ;) take care
shell
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
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   Posted 7/26/2006 5:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I was thinking this morning...if we all made a list of things that we have survived, I think we would be amazed to actually see it in writing.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


LondonGirl22
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 7/26/2006 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah thats a really good idea shy, you shoudl start a thread
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


shell67
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Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 7/26/2006 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I totally agree with that Shy, I dont think any of us give ourselves credit for making it through what was have, I got to thinking, and hey, ive made it through alot, seeing it in writing would surely make it easier to like me maybe???
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy


LondonGirl22
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 7/26/2006 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Shy - really think about starting a thread, I think it would do a lot of people good.
I don't want to start a thread as this is your fantastic idea and a really good thought.
Seeing things in writing often helps me, my psychologist always tells me to write things down.

Take care
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


BrodyDog
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 7/26/2006 1:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Shy,
I think you have a lot of wise things to say. After reading all the posts in this thread I sat here thinking about my own history. Much to my suprise I found out that even though I feel like the world has totally kicked my ass, I am a surviver. Just the fact that I am still alive atests to that. I think the idea of a 'what I've survived" thread is a great idea. It would be a way for people to share their amazing stories. I have taken a lot of encougagrment from the posts I have read on these boards.And with the help of some very special people I have met here(and other boards/chats) I feel I am making progress in my battle with my D/BP.

CounterClockwise
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/26/2006 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Brody, Brody, Brody -- I've missed ya!! You are *definitely* a survivor. And a big thanks for suggesting this forum, lovely matey -- it's done me a whole world of good!!!!
yeah   yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
 
Rosie x

alittleunwelll
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/26/2006 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
PugandherPeeps said...

No disrepect to this post, just something to think about. I do not want to be a "survivor." I want to be a "thriver." There is a huge difference.Think about this and maybe it will change your perspective also.

What a completely awesome statement.  I am new to the board, and have been doing a lot of reading and "sight-seeing".  This statement describes exactly why I continue with me treatment for depression, why I read and study about new meds, etc.  Thank you so much for saying this!! Leaann

 


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