Hi Blue, I am sorry you are going through this. When I separated from my husband (now ex) two years ago I moved in with my mom, who I havent live with since I was 18. I have MS and was recently diagnosed with an autonomic disorder so it has made moving hard...and my mom doesnt want me to move, so I have stayed. We have always had a really good relationship and I cant imagine not getting along with her as she is all I have.
In my opinion, Shy has come up with an excellent idea of writing her a letter or e-mail if she has it and telling her of how you feel. This way you dont have to do it over the phone or face to face and you can be sure to get all your feelings out on clearly. Maybe your mother doesnt realize she is coming off to you in this manner? I dont know, but you should most certainly address it with her instead of backing off.