Depressed or ??

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sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 7/3/2006 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Does anyone have the problem, they just dont wanna do ANYTHING, but you DONT feel depressed about it. I stopped school, dont listen to music anymore, stopped Tai Chi, have totally secluded myself from my friends, I cant log onto MSN anymore, but im not having any "down" feeling with it all most of the time, sure I feel down at times, but for the most part it just seems like some mental block, I just feel insane, yet sane to know right from wrong , it is just like some sort of a mental block or something. Something in me says nope dont do that. I used to play bass, was never great, but now im just like bass ? meh. and I get up in the morning and pace up and down the hallway, cause I cant bring myself to "doing" anything... if I try and sit and chill out even if I do feel relaxed it is like every minute feels like an hour, My days seem so frigging long... I wake up at like 5-6am... go to bed around 12-1... When I get up I get really frustrated.. I dont feel "down" but I cant be content with anything... I cant watch t.v, dont feel like being in the kitchen, so I end up going outside every 5 minutes to smoke, I never used to smoke, whacky I started I know, and I HATE IT ! I know when I was younger I was diagnosed with ADD, I sometimes wonder if this is all just a really really bad attention span to the point I cant do anything. Im getting really frustrated with it all. I try to explain to the p-doc how I feel, he says "your depressed" I says... I dont feel depressed. What the hell is wrong with me... can anyone relate to this huge jumbling rant... ahhhh... It is like I cant remember how I used to get through time... There was apoint when I seemed to keep myself busy but now it is like I cant, or I dont want to, and then I get really anxious about it. Ahhhh. The madness. Why cant I just be normal !
im a professional... on an amateur level !


sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 7/3/2006 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah. Normal people creep me out ! lol. You are right though, what is normal ? Most people are wierd in there own way. This is just a strange weird and I really hope it passes cause I cant function like this, it isnt like my past depressions, it is much more empty, without the deep gloom I used to feel. You know, I used to look in the mirror and not like what I seen and got depressed, now I just look and am like, yep thats me, whatever. The doctor just shrugs me off, says im depressed, I feel like they are not helping me at all. I have another anti-d. A really old one from the 50's. Imipramine. I think he gave it to me simply cause it is cheap... he was like "have a drug plan" im like nope, he is like, "ok, im going to give you this, it only cost 30 dollars a month" Kinda creepy. I talk with these doctors and think, you know what, I could be a doctor.. Just pick a pill, and hope they get better. I have read online they give this medication to people with ADD sometimes, and I do have that diagnoses, but he didnt mention anything about that beeing the reason for prescribing this medication. Thanks for the reply. Im going nuts... but on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression#Symptoms I see, that this can be a lesser reported sign of depression, as well as the whole out look on time changing, which mine has dramatically.
im a professional... on an amateur level !


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 7/3/2006 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
hey sooper,  We used to have a saying in the mental health field...If you think your crazy, your not and there is no such thing as normal.  You may not be able to pinpoint exactly what the cause was for these feelings that your having but the fact remains that you have lost interest in things and activities that you used to enjoy.  That is a big sign of depression.  So is being unable to sleep and sleeping too much..depends on the person.  Another fact is that you feel as if your physician is brushing you off and not giving you much help.  In which case you need to either address this with your psychiatrist or find a new one. 

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 


Judi Bee
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 7/3/2006 6:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey... yeah, i do get that. but untill you wrote this i just thought i was board. tel me.. have u nticed yourself not being able to follow programs on TV and end up watching music channels?
Gd luck with the Doc.
J

sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 7/4/2006 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess I am depressed. It is just a different sort of depression. I just spent a good bit crying for no real reason. Maybe thats a good thing, I am not even sure anymore. The doctor.. bah, he just didnt ask enough questions to me, I had been seeing a nurse twice, but requested to speak with an actual doctor, but he didnt seem much help at all. Im on this imiprimine stuff now, hopefully it helps. Paxil sent me manic though, so there is a good chance this could to, which makes me sad. But the doctor and I agree that we can see what happens, as im not in denial now about what paxil did to me, kinda scary I whent along for the ride though, but I know all the signs and will work with him closely is the plan. I just hope I can keep on going, my days are so long, and im so flustered in the mornings especially about not beeing able to sleep, or even just lay in bed, and the fact nothing seems to entertain me and I have totally cut myself off from the world. And the answer.. pills... it just seems like a horrible cycle. Im only 25 so another 40 years or so of this... lord help me.
im a professional... on an amateur level !


sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 7/4/2006 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Judi Bee said...
Hey... yeah, i do get that. but untill you wrote this i just thought i was board. tel me.. have u nticed yourself not being able to follow programs on TV and end up watching music channels?
Gd luck with the Doc.
J



Yah, I cant watch t.v anymore, it really pisses me off. I cant do anything, except worry about how I cant do anything and I started to smoke, even though it makes me sick. Im a mess. I feel like if I was back in school and got a job then I would be busy, but then that old mental block comes in and says school ? work ? ahhhh. Im to messed up. It sounds like im lazy, I wish I was just lazy.
im a professional... on an amateur level !


Rianna
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 7/4/2006 3:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Are you seeing a Psychiatrist, social Worker or therapist? Maybe it would help to talk this over with them and see if they can do Cognitive therapy and exercises with you. I have a friend who is ADD and she said she recently started on Straterra and it has worked very well for her. Are you on any medication for depression? Sometimes, depression can cause someone to pace, isolate themselves and not have any interest or motivation.

sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 7/4/2006 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all the replies. Rianna I am on an anti depressant, it is called imipramine. ONly been four days though. A really old one made in the 50's confused I think he gave it to me simply cause it is cheap and I do not have any coverage, which kinda creeps me out. I whent to the E.R twice cause I felt like I was losing it, after the 2nd trip they set me up with a nurse, I seen her twice, she then said she only seen people short term and I needed a longer term thing (she was no help, and couldnt talk her way out of a paper bag) The 2nd nurse, she was a lil better but I still didnt feel they were addressing my issues, so I say I wanna see the p-doc, they have me in, and they say im depressed and gave me these pills. It just seems weird, I have been depressed since I was 16 or so, but could always watch t.v, listen to music, play games on my computer, and so on. I just always felt down. Now I feel down at times, but mainly empty, its like im really out of touch with people and my surrondings... The hardest part is I cant explain how I feel really cause I have never felt like this before. I have anotehr appointment on the 14th. I hope I make it until then, my mom is like you need to push yourself, its so frustrating. I wish I could just push myself to feel normal, that would be dandy.
im a professional... on an amateur level !

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