Hi Jennifer, Welcome to healing well forum, we are happy to have you. Can I assume that since you have no job right now that you also are uninsured at the moment? Or perhaps you are on your husband’s policy? I strongly suggest you get to the doctor and see about an antidepressant. If you’re already taking one, which you didn’t mention, then it isn’t working and you need something else. Counseling can help a lot if you have been through a traumatic experience in your life but studies show that for Major Depression it really isn’t that effective, except for teaching coping skills. Try finding a good Psychiatrist who you can see on a regular basis who can assess you for medication (if you want to go that route) and help.
I also have had Major Depression for most of my life; I am 32 soon to be 33. I have had a problem with body image also and dealt with eating disorders. So I do understand how hard it is live everyday to look at yourself in the mirror and just being in your own skin.
It sounds to me as if you have a wonderful support system in your husband...but do keep in mind that most men are clueless as to things that don’t directly affect them. So you may have to sit him down and communicate your feelings to him very clearly before he really gets it or understands what your needs are.
I am going to post some links for you just in case you do start to feel that things get to overwhelm for you and you have those suicidal thoughts. You can add them to your favorites on your computer or whatever and I hope you do use them if you feel you need to. HW is a wonderful place to come for support and information so I hope you continue to post here.... we are always here. Take care
I am so glad to hear that Jennifer. You really may just need a differant medication all together. I was on Zololft for a while and it quit working for me, I felt pretty much like you describe. Crying all the time, wanting to die, having thoughts of hurting myself with no real plan to do so. Changing meds is hard but you can feel better and you dont have to live feeling like that...trust me, it does get better and can get better. You just have to help yourself to get there.
I am always here if you want to talk, you can even e-mail me if you like. Smiles and hugs to you. Have a wonderful day...