Sometimes we have to make a choice that is unpleasant. If this job is putting your well being at risk then you really have to try and get out of there. Or you have to confront the person causing the stress. It maybe he's blind to how he behaves. While we all need money to survive, maybe for a short time you could try doing something else and get by with less.
Depression will rob us of the strength we need to stand up for ourselves. We lose sight of our own self worth and allow the world to use us as doormats. I am sure that your are worth the effort to seek a way to remove yourself from this stress or at least confronting the person who is causing this to be so. I work in a job that doesn't pay me what I'm worth, but the perks are to good to pass up. I'm two minutes from home, I have a lot of freedom and a boss who understands my ups and downs and allows me to do what ever I need to do to take care of myself. For me that is worth everything.
I don't know if this helps, but I am here if you need to talk further. As one who fights the battle daily, I am more than prepared to help you in your fight.
Hi redshoe, Welcome to the depression forum. I completely understand where you are coming from. I worked for a private psychiatric community support company for over 11 years. I worked my way up through the ranks until I ended up managing two residential care facilities. Though I loved my clients and believed in the work I was doing, and was extremely good at it, I ended up working over 70 hours a week. Had staffing problems all the time, and a supervisor who was like jeckel and hyde. Of course, I also have depression and anxiety and panic disorder, which I had always managed very well through this. But during my employment there I was diagnosed with MS, and toward the end was going through the break up of my marriage. So, extreme stress from personal life and my job clashed greatly. I finally had enough and put in my notice at the job, that was last year.
I also see a therapist every other week and a psychiatrist once a month that encourages me to get back into my field. I have a degree in Psychology and am working on my Master's which I had been doing before I quit my position. I don’t believe that I can or even want to work in that field again. I don’t know...
I love 90% of my job as an computer analyst for the federal government. Most of my job is working with the computer and operating systems which I love. The horrible part of my job is dealing with people. Not that the people I work with are bad or cruel pwoplw exactly the opposite. The people where I work are for the most part totally awesome. However I am autistic and I am not a real people person. My job requires lots of meetings, lots of informal talking with folks to get my jobs done.
Like you I have so many frustrated geeks I have to work with and each of them stange and unique in their own ways as I am. In the computer industry there are ton's of self absorbed premadonna's and yes they seem to make it their business to get on your last nerve when you can least handle it. The choice is yours but honestly you can not outrun jerks no matter what job you do. Human workplaces are all like Wolf packs and there are always ALPHA males and forever *****y ALPHA Male Want To Be's trying to use you to make themselves seem more important.
Letting these ignorant or arrogant people get to you is just feeding their already overweight overblown egos. I value my time alone working with computers alone and loathe the time I must spend in meetings or interacting with humans regards my expected work. My direct supervisor is a nice person but, we simply do not like each other on a personal level and do not get alone at all. Because I know my workplace supervisor gets on my nerves I give him those things that are job related only. Anything my supervisor does, says or asks for that are not directly part of my job I just ignore. There will always be people insensitive to your disabilities. There will always be people who value and fight to preserve their ignorance which is OK they have made it their jobin life! YOUR JOB IN LIFE IS TO NEVER let the poisons in the hearts of others who work to stay forever lame turn you against yourself.
You will stay depressed so long as you let the ugly mean ignorant and other unproductive behaviors or comments of others define who you are to yourself. You must self validate and ignore those who do not share the sense of joy and well being that is your birth right. If you honestly want to get away from the job you are doing because you hate the work fine by all means leave soon as you are able to financially \ safely do so. All I am saying is JUST do not RUN from those people getting on your nerves because, they are EVERYWHERE! Ignorance stupidity insensity and the rude ugly behaviors that go with them are part of the fabric of human exostance that you will never escape. I have 12 disabilities and most people on seeing me think I am retarded and despite all that, I LOVE ME! Oh YES, I love The WOLF and no one can make me feel bad about being me because, I just enjoy it way too much. You will find that once you love yourself so much that even the lamest fools around you know that no matter what they say it won't put you in a Blue Hole the low life's will just dry up and blow away. Your enemy thrives mostly on the power you give to him by feeling the self important God complex driving everything they do.
I hope this helps because, I have had those feelings and still do. I just remind my self of what I have just shared with you.
Thank you honey for clarifying
Redshoe, canislupus has made some excellent points that those people will be everywhere, there will always be someone that we have difficulty getting along will or just don’t like. Perhaps this is a fact of life and we have to learn to live with it...I don’t know. I don’t know what industry you work in or how easily it is to work independently or even if that is a solution for you. Sometimes a total change is good, as you do end up getting burnt out and discouraged...I believe this is what happened to me. Please do let us know how you get along.