Hi luvdee, I wanted to welcome you to healing well forum. This is a great bunch of supportive people here, so please don’t worry about being judged or looked at negatively in anyway. We all have things that we worry someone else may not approve of but, no one is perfect and no one can judge someone else’s life until they have lived it. So having said that....
It does indeed sound as if you have been though quite a year. I can understand the break up of your relationship as sometimes people do fall out of love or grow apart. There is no harm in that and you should not feel guilt or remorse for this. I do know it is always hard to end a relationship especially when it has been a long term one. I recently split from my husband of 5 years but we were together 11 all together. Towards the end I didn’t feel "In love" with him anymore either. It is sad but you do go on.
Having to go through with the termination of a pregnancy is most likely one of the hardest decisions anyone can ever make in their lives. It is extremely traumatic, and does cause guilt and shame. No one should ever make you feel guilty for doing this as they cant possibly come close to the amount you put upon yourself I'm sure. Whatever your reasons were for going through with it are your own, and you need to try to focus on them. I really would suggest counseling to help you get though this. It may help greatly for you to have someone you can talk to one on one, which is a safe place where you can let all this out and not keep it so closed in.
Hi luvdee, I am so sorry I havent responded sooner, your post ended up pushed to the bottom of the forum and I didnt see it.
It does sound as if your going through some rough times and having a difficult time coping with the things you have been through. There is no harm in seeking counseling, and even people who arent having any problems often go to counseling just to be able to discuss stress factors in their lives. So yes, counseling is always a good option.
Hi Luvdee . opening up is a form of counselling in itself. I know sometimes for me just getting things off my chest helps. You are definitely going through some form of depression. Do you have somebody or somewhere to go to talk things through if this goes on too long?
You're went through a very tough year. I know 3 of my girlfriends who have had abortions have suffered. They feel terrible guilt and shame and very alone as it's a hard one to talk about as you already know. I would suspect a little depression with this one is a common.
As far as your parents are concerned. Not sure what to say as they are still people with people problems. It's really hard when the 2 that you love hurt each other.
You also were in the car accident which caused you physical pain. You've had a triple whammy Luvdee. Be extra gentle with yourself for a while. You sound like a great person I'd love to know .
thank you both Elisha and Softy. It's a great relief just talking about it with you guys. I've had all these issues bottled up in me for months. I have friends that would understand, but I guess pride makes me keep them to myself. That's why I would like to get some counselling but I don't know what the first step is. Can I just look up a psychologist online and make an appointment?