Hi Casper, Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are happy to have you join our community here. It sounds as if you have been though so many things and have lots of stressors in your life. I totally agree with Victoria's recommendation on outside counseling, this could do wonders for being able to work though some of the hurt and pain you are carrying around with you.
I understand it is difficult when you know of a family member that is in trouble or possibly going to do something that they may regret one day...such as terminate a pregnancy. And you may be totally against abortion, but it sounds as if your niece is old enough to make her own decisions regarding this, and I know it is a terrible and most difficult decision to make. I'm sure she doesn’t need any more guilt and pressure put upon her for her decision, even though your offer was most generous. I don’t want to sound harsh but it isn’t your cross to bear.
You said you’re on Lexapro and Risperdal; did a primary care physician prescribe them or a psychiatrist? The reason I ask is that for meds like these a Psychiatrist should manage especially Risperdal. Also you stated that you cry unexpectedly and that would indicate to me that you would need a medication adjustment as something is not working as well as it should. Perhaps the Lexapro. Call your doctor for an appointment, if your primary doc is prescribing the meds then ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, from there they can set you up with a counselor to help with some of these issues hopefully.Please know that we are always here so feel free to post as often as you like. HW has some of the most supportive people around. Take care