Hi! I've never posted anything on a message board before so please be gentle with me.
I need help telling my boyfriend that I have depression and anxiety. I don't know what to say because I'm really scared of his reaction. I truly care about this person, but feel if I don't tell him then I'll eventually lose him. He knows that I have major anxiety, but not about the depression. Lately my symptoms have been really acting up - can't constraint at work, paranoid about losing him and what he thinks about me since I've been getting mad and upset at him for minor little reasons, what people think about me, if people are having a good time while hanging with me, my self-esteem is very low, crying all the time, trusting people, super tired all the time, and too defensive. I know he really cares about me, but I feel my symptoms might push him away if I don’t tell him. I'm scared he's going to judge me and afraid that he won’t want to be with me because of my disorders. I’m just looking for some advice. Please help!!
Hi cloudydays, First let me welcome you to healing well forum, we are very happy to have you join our community here. Everyone here is very supportive of each other and always willing to share insight and information.
I don’t know you or your boyfriend obviously but I am going to say that if he is aware that you have an anxiety problem than he is most likely aware that you have depression. I say this as the two disorders most times go hand-in-hand with each other. If you have such strong feelings for this person and do plan on having a long-term relationship with him then you need to find the courage to sit him down and discuss this with him. Hopefully he will be receptive to what you are going through and deal with on a daily basis and will be able to help you through it and be a support system for you.
The one thing you did not mention in your post, is if your getting treatment for you anxiety? If your not this is very important and could greatly improve your quality of life on a daily basis. Also, a physician hopefully a psychiatrist would be able to assess you for depression and prescribe medication to help with this. You don’t have to suffer to such extremes with these disorders. I also have depression, anxiety and panic disorder so I do understand. We are always here, so please do feel free to continue to post...I am sure that some of our other members will be along shortly to post replies also. Take care
I felt the same way about telling my partner that I was depressed and going on meds. I thought he would think less of me and wouldn't want any part of being with someone who is depressed. Especially since he is the opposite - outgoing, lots of friends, happy with his life, loves his job, has hobbies and goals. I'm the total opposite, low self esteem, quiet, have lost interest in things I used to enjoy, no motivation, am bored in my job, don't see the purpose in life. I obsessed about how I was going to tell him that I was taking meds, but luckily the time was right one evening. He really can't understand what depression is really like, no one can unless they have personally lived it. He seemed to be supportive but the only advice he could offer was that I should get back into exercising and running, that going for a run will be enough to lift me out of it.