What we have survived.

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ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/27/2006 5:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Since it was my idea I will start this thread:
I survived an abusive mom,breaking my arm,kicking me around whenever her life got to much.
From the age of 11-14 I survived being raped and sexually abused from one of my mom's old boyfriends. No one came to help and I told no one until a few years ago.
For 13 years I survived a horrible marriage. My teeth knocked out,stomped on while I tried to cover my face,punched so hard that I would fly across the room (just a few of the episodes).Being controlled so bad that I could not go anywhere by myself.
I have survived being forced to let my ex have full custody of my two kids ages 16 and now 18,as the divorce proved to me that I might not be able to make it on my own.
There are many more things,but after thinking about those situations they really weren't as harsh as the above.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/27/2006 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow Shy! -- Can't beat that, but I will join you!

I've survived eating problems, culminating in 5 years of bulimia (16-21 yrs old).
I've survived being raped (by a so-called friend) when I was 17 (and lost virginity that way).
I've survived losing a home I loved so much in Kuwait (due to the invasion), and some friends to the conflict.
I've survived the years of financial and employment instability that comes with trying to get a job in academia (8 years!!! -- have a permanent job now -- big hooray, big relief!!).
I've survived an emotionally abusive dad's mum (hate to call her my grandmother...).
I've survived an emotionally abusive relationship that for 4 months left me wrestling with the desire to throw myself under the bus I waited for every morning.
I've survived regular bouts of anxiety and full-blown depression since I was 15.

Rosie x

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 7/27/2006 7:58 AM (GMT -7)   
I have admiration for you both, I really do. Good thread shy, it helps to see it all written down doesnt it? You have survived so much, things can only get better now.

I have survived:
Being abused from 9-11 by my mums boyfriend
My mums alcoholism
My best friend being murdered while backpacking in Australia when we were 19
My grandad passing away last year
The story of my abuse as a child only just coming out 2 months ago and the ongoing anxiety/depression since then

I hope all of this will make me a stronger person in life. I have many positive things in my life. I try not to see these things I have listed as negatives but 'things I have survived in life that will make me a stronger person'.
I am getting through my problems now that they are all out in the open so that is a big step for me. I can't change what happened to my friend caroline or my grandad passing away but they are always in my thoughts every day and a charity has been set up in carolines name so that is a positive thing to come out of her death.

I can't say that I don't struggle but I feel proud of myself when Ive got through a tough day.
Take care everyone
xx
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


BrodyDog
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 7/27/2006 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys, BrodyDog here. I know I said I would love thread like this so I guess I have to 'bare my soul' too. The sexual abuse that I suffered at the hands of a close family relative started some time before I can actually remember. It was just always like that till I was around 11 or 12. I guess I got too old for him. But I survived. My father's cocaine abuse and what it did to my family. The betrayal by my best girlfriend. The only person I trusted in the world at the time(she slept with my BF, got preg. and wanted me to ask him for money for an abortion). Yet I survived them both. Countless bad relationships with lossers and drug addicts. The love of my life(so I thought at the time) another real winner. Sold me out to some druggies he owed money to. They proceeded rape me at gun point for two days. And still, HERE I AM!!!!!!! There is so much more but like stated in an earlier reply, those are the biggies. Or most of them anyway. Even at my worst, when I have the blade to my wrist(both literaly and figuratively at times), I think about these things and I put the blade down. I know this is kind of longwinded compaired to the other replies but this is how I do things. I didn't feel list form was warrented. I haven't been feeling too good the last few days and reliving these traumas, well I can't say that it has helped all that much. Getting it out here, in writing, has however helped. It's like by setting it free, part of it leaves my soul. That helps me survive. I will continue to survive. tongue

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/28/2006 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
oh wow....we could all get together to write a book,we could call it "the strong will survive". I am amazed at what we all have seen in our lives.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


Joan M
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1978
   Posted 7/28/2006 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I survived being born with dislocation of the hip and two very ugly feet. Not understanding why my sister hated me. Having my mother get sick (mental illness) when I was 8 years old. Having my father die a few months later in an accident when he was drunk and killed somebody else. Watching my father date another woman while my mother was hospitalized. Leaving with his mother (my grandmother) and feeling like a pauper. Going to 7 grammer schools. Watching my mother come out of the hospital and gradually disintegrate. Listening to my mother and sister fight. Being beaten up by my sister. Living in the slums. Not being given food to eat. Having no home at 17. Cracking up myself. Being misdiagnosed by the medical profession. Being totally self supporting as a female when I was 17 back in 1962. Not having enough money to eat, etc.
That it my early survival story.  I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman.

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/28/2006 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
"I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman." -- Joan, *thank you*! -- I think we should all blaze that above us as we go around in life (well, for you men it will have to be a *slight* variation ... unless you know something I don't!?!?).

Rosie x

james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 7/30/2006 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
lke ate dogs I survived being an alcoholic since the age of 14 or 15 and each and everyday since I have dried up almost 5 years now .My congrats goes out to all you survivors out there !!!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 7/31/2006 2:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Congrats James - five years is amazing. You must be so proud of yourself.

Victoria
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


Oldtimer
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 208
   Posted 7/31/2006 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   

I have a chronic disease Called Crohn's Disease. Had it much of my life, didn't know it until it was diagnosed in my 30's (I'm now 57). Had trouble with my arteries. 3 1/2 years ago I had 5-way bypass surgery (Angeoplasty didn't work). The Crohn's is pretty much in remission right now. So... could have died twice in my life and have had two major surgerys. Just glad to be here. Every day is a day I could have missed.

Ed


www.everyday-wisdom.com


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/1/2006 2:32 AM (GMT -7)   

I just want to say everyone here is so strong to be able to lay all these personal things out for everyone else to see.  I have posted about my past before but lately I have been having a lot of conflict within myself in dealing with it.  This is why I have avoided posted to this one thread before now, and for that I feel ashamed of myself. 

 

I have survived:

Being sexually molested from ages 3-11 by my stepfather

Being physically and mentally abused by my stepfather until I was 11

My mother didn’t know (my brother & I were very good at keeping secrets)

Survived being bankrupt and living in a low-income apartment after my mom and stepfather got divorced and having to change schools into a rough part of Kansas City

(He took all the money out of their bank for his attorney fees…he needed it, I guess)

Survived a physically abusive relationship with my “first-love” who tried to kill me – dumped him after a year of it

Survived another abusive relationship with my husband whom I have been divorced from for 2 year – mentally abusive

I am working on surviving having MS and recently being diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy

 

 


 


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/1/2006 5:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Elisha
You are so very strong,and have been through so much. Plus you are able to come to this site and put your problems aside and try to help others. Your words are always what I look for as you always make sense and have so much compassion. I know you will survive the MS and MSA.
I am glad to know you!
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


LondonGirl22
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/2/2006 1:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Elisha,

You are one of the strongest people I know.
I can understand that its hard for you to post in this thread because sometimes seeing things written down in balck and white makes it all real.
Everything that has happened to you has made you a stronger person and a wonderful person.
You always know the right words to say to everyone and are understanding and caring.
privalidged to know you els.
Take care honey, talk to ya soon
Vic
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/2/2006 3:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Shy,  Thank you so much for your kind works, I would of responded yesterday but I was having DSL problems... eyes . It has always been easy for me to put aside my problems or to forget my own trials to constrate on something else...I think this is a big part of my problem now.  I dont feel so strong most of the time but, I do want you to know that you have given me alot of inspiration in how you are able to pick yourself up and deal.  Your the strong one and I am lucky for being able to get to know you.

Victoria,  You got me on the black and white thing... tongue   It does for some reason make it all real again for me, dont know why, guess I am very good at burying things and not facing them.  Your right in that what happened made me stronger, made us all stronger.  Take care friend...hope to talk to ya soon...Hugs


Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 


Chuckle.xxx
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 8/2/2006 5:51 AM (GMT -7)   

James, well done, 5 years dry is a fantastic achievement!!! yeah

I think you all should be proud of getting through your very tough times. I have been through lots too but am not comfortable to write them down here yet. I trusted someone online and opened up to him only for him to act in the same manner. I tend not to trust people too much nowadays.


Take care
 
Chuckle
 
xxxx
 
 
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT TO THE POST OFFICE!!!!!!!!
YEAH, I AM SOOOOO WONDERFUL!!!!!


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/3/2006 12:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm just a duffer compared to everyone here but I know that whatever challenges we all face, large or small, they are our challenges and that makes them valid.

I survived my entire life as a ghost in my family. I am the 3rd child right in a row (1 boy, 2 girls) of a mother who was overwhelmed with one child much less 3 and she never wanted girls. All my life I was surrounded by a loving but too busy father a mother who ignored me, an older sister who was often mean and a brother who was the charished male child. I now know that my mother was a person who always wanted to love me but was so inhibited that she wouldn't allow herself to reach out because we were such different people. I have always been a go for it person and I believe that created great jealously from my mother towards me. From 4th grade on I became involved in every sport I could get my hands on. I never had any friends (I believe largely because of my mother's personality) and always only wanted to have a good friend I could count on. For some reason when I was 14 I realized that I was not as bad a person as my mother made me feel I was. I remember and can feel the exact moment this happened and I never looked back. It took me until sometime in my 30's to truly stop wanting her approval but from the 14 yr old moment on I walked my own road. I never let my fears stop me from doing anything and I remember my mother telling me that when I got married she had never seen anyone as sure of anything in their life as I was when I got married. It was amazing to me that anyone would get married without being that sure.

When I was in 9th grade I met that friend (we are still very close) andI met my future husband. I still don't have many friends but the ones that I do have are the best. 10 years after I was born my parents had another daughter. I watched my mother be a completely different parent to her that she had been to the older 3 and can remember thinking how proud of her I was that she had grown so much and could put to good use the lessons she had learned from her mistakes with us. Today she is 76 with failing health. I won't say that we have ever been close (she still forgets my participation in activities she talks about, just call me Casper) but we have come to a gentle accommodation with each other.

Since that time I have survived military life, abusive bosses, husband and my unemployment with two kids, building a business (I know that doesn't sound like much but we lived in my parents' basement with 2 kids and 3 cats), my own depression, a very short road toward husband's alcoholism (fortunately he realized that it was out of hand - stopped drinking and got help), daughter's depression and son's rage.

Today I am healthy and happy , husband is healthy and working on being happy, daughter is happy, healthy and amazing and son is happy, healthy and amazing. Both children are pursuing their dreams, husband and I are rebuilding our relationship (all couples have to do this when their kids leave) and loving it and we look forward to a bright future.

Y'all are the strongest people I know and I appreciate spending time with you. To be honest, when I first came here I was a bit worried that it might be a bunch of depressed folks whining about their problems. I so appreciate how much strength you give to me and to each other. I love the intelligent way that you discuss life issues and how much responisbility you take for your lives and I appreciate having another place to go for support.

anxiety veteran
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 8/4/2006 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Gosh, I feel guilty. I haven't gone through near as much as you guys have. I must consider myself a lucky man. You people are true survivors! I admire you. You could have given up!

stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/4/2006 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
So could you have anxiety veteran. No one can second guess the things that take an emotional toll. We all do the best we can at any time and you don't have any reason to feel guilty.

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/5/2006 8:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with stong lady - no one has anything to feel guilty about here. Everyone has there problems in life and everyones problem is important. All of us in this forum have been through emotional times and it's no contest about who has had the worst life and the worst problems. We are all here to support each other and help each other.
Anxiety Veteran please do not feel guilty.
Take care everyone

God bless xx
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/6/2006 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Anxiety Veteran said...Gosh, I feel guilty. I haven't gone through near as much as you guys have. I must consider myself a lucky man. You people are true survivors! I admire you. You could have given up!
Hi ya anxiety,  Please dont feel guilty at all.  Victoria said it best I believe, she is always so helpful and great with insight.  I dont compare what I have been through in my life with anyone else, when someone posts about their past hurts or what they have going on I always feel that they have been through so much more than I have.  Yes, we could of given up but we all just like you, are survivors and fighters.  Please do feel free to come back and visit us as often as you like...Take care :-)

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/7/2006 3:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes James, That is an awesome feat for sure and one you should be very proud of.  My real dad has been an alcoholic since he was very young also, 11 or 12 I believe.  His mother had some sort of undiagnosed mental illness that caused her to act very erratically most times; she died when I was 2 yrs old.  My dad was very violent when he drank and this was the reason my parents divorced when I was 3.  I didn’t see him again until I was 25 and still drinking consumed his life mostly. That, and working.  He found out he had small cell lung cancer and that was the one and only thing in his life that scared him enough to make him quit smoking and drinking.  That was 5 years ago.  Not having had a relationship with him growing up makes it difficult to communicate my feelings to him now but I try.  I am so proud of him though.  You have reminded me that I need to tell him that.  Thank you

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/9/2006 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Been a Sober Alcoholic since 1979............have crohns ...multilpe other health issues but I get thru day to day .....with my HW family and my sobriety......Kudos to all the ones willing to share and talk about what they have overcome......
    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 Let That Strong Spirit Be Your Guide
 
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   God Bless..........Lyn
 
  
 


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/9/2006 3:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all --

I hope no-one's *really* feeling guilty about not having had as much bad as someone else!! I don't see things here in that way at all: I see many many strong people dealing with all sorts of things, and depression doesn't always come with "reasons", which is one of the worst things of all. I'm just so proud of people her -- not just for being able to list what's happened to them and what they've survived, but also for being able to help out others (and Elisha you are everyone's hero here on that score).

Chuckle, bad experiences like that are so hurtful and damaging and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please please please know that I would never judge, be mean to you or any of that stuff if you ever wanted to have a chat about any of the things you've gone through in private rather than in a thread. You know my email, and then there's msn too. You've been a wonderful friend to me, and it would be a privilege for me to be able to listen and/or help.

Love and hugs to all,
Rosie x

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/9/2006 3:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Awww, thank you rosie I think you give me too much credit.  Everyone here is wonderful and I love to help in anyway I can... :-)

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/9/2006 6:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey sis you have got to learn to "Take credit where Credit is DUE" and you certainly are deserving IMO..........
Yes Rosie I agree this is not a "competition" per say it is a kinda of Cleansing and it is great that we all come her to bare our pain..........


    Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
 Let That Strong Spirit Be Your Guide
 
 Friends are Priceless.....And Needed
 
   God Bless..........Lyn
 
  
 

Post Edited (Lyn (Howlyncat)) : 8/9/2006 1:36:49 PM (GMT-6)

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