Hi pollyandsay, Welcome to healing well forum. I don’t know where your from or what circumstances your facing...but, if your feeling like your going to harm yourself then you do need to get help now and by going to your local emergency room they should be able to direct you or get you admitted into an inpatient program (I am assuming this is what you are looking for?). If your not having feelings of thoughts of self harm but are just severely depressed, as bad as it is I know, you may have to wait it out until your appointment. I will post some hotline numbers for you, but you can also Google for support lines in someone to talk to directly that may be able to lead you in the right direction to go. Please do post again and keep us updated on how you’re doing.
Your wife is so lucky to have you.
I am supposed to go see my daughter, but I don't think I have enough gas to get there.
I feel like when I am around people that they can see right through me and see all of the ugly things inside of me, no matter how hard I try to act like I am ok. This makes me feel like a burden.
You are right I can't make it to the door. I can't even make it to the shower. I haven't ate in days. Food has no taste to it so it seems pointless. I want to reach out to someone but I don't know who to reach out to that I won't be a burden to. That's why I looked for a place like this, hoping to find someone who feels like I do. I'll listen to anyone if they will listen to me.
I took a shower and it was refreshing. I am going to overdraw my checking account so I can get to my ex's parents house to see my daughter. Her smile is like a ray of sunshine and I need to see it and I need a hug from her. I don't know if she knows how much I love her and how much I depend on her. Sometimes I think I depend on both of my children more than they depend on me. They depend on me to take care of them, but I depend on them to keep my bearings in life.
Thanks for listening Al. I hope your wife soon feels better. I know it must be a comfort for her to have you there in her corner to support and love her.
I live in Michigan. My Dad is a pastor. I do not attend church regularly. I haven't found one that I like, and I stopped looking long ago. I feel like no matter what church I walk into, that the pastor is broadcasting a political agenda, and if my ideals do not match, then I am wrong and not welcome. Needless to say, I have not felt God's presence in a very long time. I wonder sometimes if he is there, or if he has just given up on me.
My Dad being a pastor is the primary reason why I do not talk to my family about how I feel. My Mom thinks that church is the cure for all that ails you.
My ex's Mom is the administrative nurse at a state psychiatric hospital. I am hoping she will be there today, because I want to reach out to her for help.