finaly, finaly, FINALY!!!!!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

BrodyDog
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 7/31/2006 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, this may end up being a long post, who knows. To give a little background on my situation. I have severe depressive disorder(diagnosed) and could quite possibly be bipolar2(un-diagnosed).This year has been VERY bad for me so far. In Jan. I lost my job. Then without insurance I went off my meds because we couldn't afford them. My husband didn't know I was off meds. I had started posting some stuff on another board, and found some help. Then I came here. The people here are much nicer and far more helpful. The topic of one of my posts ran along the lines of 'how do I let my husband know how bad I am'. Well, I got a lot of good advice, such as putting my feelings into a letter for him. I wrote him a letter trying to explain how bad I felt and how bad my depression had gotten. Letting him know that I needed help but didn't know what to do. It was a really good letter. The problem was that whenever I worked up the courage to actually give it to him, I would chicken out the second he walked through the door. I have put him through so much over the last few years I was just overcome with fear over what his reactions might be. He has never really grasped the concept of illness v/s. being sad. And that is what this is, an illness. Well, over the weekend things were very strained between us. My step-daughter came over on Saturday after being at the beach for a week. It was great having her here because it was the only time my husband was actually nice to me. Then Sunday came. He was just a total a** all day. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right. By around 9pm I had had enough. I was carrying his clean laundry to the bedroom to put it away for him and he started yelling at me about how I put his stuff away the last time. I threw all his clothes down the steps and told him to put them away himself then. Sounds kind of funny, I know. The truth is I had just lost it. I couldn't take it any more. We got into this huge fight. Namecalling, accusation, backbitting, the works. THEN IT CAME OUT. I almost couldn't belive what I was hearing come out of my own mouth. I was telling him the truth about my condition. I told him I didn't know why I did the things I did. That what I have is an illness, not just feeling sad. That I had no control over it because I was off meds. Then, amongst many tears on both sides, I gave him the letter I had written. I think it finaly sunk in. He did a complete turn around. I love him so much. He wants to help me get the help I need. He said he was sorry for not realizing the trouble I am in. He's even calling his sister-in-law(a family psycologist) to get refferals on some good pdocs for me to see, no matter what the cost. He wants to do whatever he can/has to, to get me back on meds and get someone to talk to. I feel like such a fool for waiting SOOOOO long to talk to him. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is to have his back on my side. I can only hope that with the right meds and the right pdoc I will be able to get my life back. I want my life back. It's taken me a very long time to write this post because I am still very emotional. I need to go take some tylenol now. My head hurts. I just had to tell someone my good news. There may just be a glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel after all. Thank you for reading all of this. It means a lot to me.
Take care,
Donna tongue
It's like by setting it free, part of it leaves my soul. That helps me survive. I will continue to survive.


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/31/2006 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh Brody!!! This is a quite teary Rosie writing this -- though slightly less teary than I was a moment ago actually reading what you'd written! I'm over the moon for you and prouder of you than ever!!!  This news has made my day. I just knew that hubby of yours wouldn't let you down on this -- but I also knew it was easy for me to say that and so hard for you to take that risk. You are a complete star, and there's definitely a light at the end of the tunnel for you -- a big light -- you!

Rosie x


BrodyDog
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 7/31/2006 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Rosie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Thanks. You are special to me. I hope you know that. I'm sorry for kind of being out of touch lately. I'm back now. If you need me, you know where to find me.
It's like by setting it free, part of it leaves my soul. That helps me survive. I will continue to survive.


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/31/2006 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((((((((((Brody))))))))))))))))))))))
No need to apologise lovely Brody. -- I know how it gets with depression sometimes! I'm just so glad you've turned *another* corner!!! And it's good to see you back, really it is! I've been doing ok, and have also found lots more help here than our previous forum(!). The Anxiety/Panic boards have helped *a lot* with the paranoia too.

Same goes for you about saying if you need me -- email, and I do msn too. I'll always be there.

Love to you!
Rosie x

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 8/2/2006 12:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Yippi here too^^
                                                     To be or not to Be


Chuckle.xxx
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 8/2/2006 5:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Well done Brody!!!!!!

Wishing you all the very best in your recovery

:-)   :-) :-) :-)
Take care
 
Chuckle
 
xxxx
 
 
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT TO THE POST OFFICE!!!!!!!!
YEAH, I AM SOOOOO WONDERFUL!!!!!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 11:31 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,614 posts in 301,037 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151196 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, RAmiddleage55.
274 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
PDL17, 142, Mad Martha, bdbbauden, Faustmann, ~ chicken wings ~, Tim Tam, RAmiddleage55, Tall Allen, Kristvet86


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer