Let's Have a Good Laugh

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stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/4/2006 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Honey's post on how busy she is inspired me and then atedogs was talking about shaving and made me laugh.  What are the seemingly normal little things that get difficult when life gets to big?
 
For me it is getting my hair cut.  I don't know why but making the time to go get my hair cut seems to be a herculian task.  I don't like spending the money (yeah right, as if I'm not worth it?) It wouldn't be so bad but I hate hair in my face and hair on the back of my neck when it gets hot.  I get grumpy and impatient when my hair is out of whack.  Once, it had been about 6 months since I got my hair cut.  After weeks of hot weather one day my husband picked me up after work and drove me to Gene Juarez.  When he pulled over he lovingly took my hand, looked me adoringly in the eyes and said, "I love you more than life itself but if you don't get your hair cut I'm going to kill either you or me.  For the sake of our marriage and the fact that you don't look good in horizontal stripes and I'm no longer good looking enough to be anyone's *****, please go and have a good time"  I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

susan35
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 8/4/2006 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I refuse to stay depressed so here is something to start the process of ecovery

Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards".

The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM).

That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles,
Tahoma won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence ****son of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.

He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.

The family was on vacation, and Mr. ****son found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.

He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The
jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. (In my opinion this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!)

4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.

The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).

The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument

2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.

This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.

On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left t he freeway, crashed and overturned.

Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 8/5/2006 10:40 PM (GMT -7)   
GADZOOKS!!!!!!
there's no justice in these cases...don't know if I should be mad or sad...I think both! mad sad
janet
Bless the beasts and the children...


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/6/2006 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   
susan35 said...
I refuse to stay depressed so here is something to start the process of recovery ....

Susan35, I like your style!! Thanks for sharing a great laugh. 

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 8/6/2006 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Here's a joke that cracks me up every time I think of it...it's not dirty, but a wee bit naughty (not in a sexual way!)
A preacher was standing by the door saying good-bye to the parishioners as they left the church. Brother Jones, a hillbilly who'd just joined the church, comes up and shakes the preacher's hand. The preacher notices that Jones has 2 black eyes. He asked him what in the world happened, especially as he didn't recall seeing him with black eyes before the service.
Jones say, "Well, when you told us to stand up and sing the last hymn, I noticed that Sister Brown, who was standing just ahead of me had her dress hung up in her crack, so I reached over and pulled it out. And would you believe it?! She turned around and punched me right in the eye!!!! Well, I was awful sorry for upsetting her...I didn't know...so I reached over and tucked her dress back in and would you believe that she turned around and punched me in the other eye?!?!? I don't understand it! Especially after you gave that real fine sermon about the good Samaritan!
Bless the beasts and the children...

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