When It rains it pours.

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zorna
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 8/7/2006 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
My brother just called me,to let me know in two weeks he will lose the house.  We reviewed some options for him. place the house in someone elses last name other than his, and he will  give the mortage money to them and they will make the payment, and after a year switch the house back into his name The second option which I think is best, move everthing out of there place it in storage, stay with me, until he can get an apartment.  When I asked him how this could happend,he said he has been working on it for more than a couple months, When I asked him did he have a place to stay he said no.  We will talk more tomorrow.  He also informed me he does not love the girlfriend the way he used to and he thinks she feels the same way. I have already looked up moving trucks and storage places,(I did that last week).  I want to believe with him telling me all this maybe I can begin to get him some therapy. (MAYBE) 
 
Thanks for listening. 

normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 8/8/2006 4:12 AM (GMT -7)   
*hugs* sorry to hear about your brothers place. We will always be here for you, keep us posted.

Michelle

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/8/2006 4:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zorna,

I, like you, hope this will lead to your bro admitting he needs some help: sometimes it takes a big shock to the system, a big realisation of how far things have slipped, to make someone take action in these circs. All I'd say is *be careful* and don't try to do everything for him (which will give him a safety cushion and take the pressure off him to face up to what's going on); most of all, don't be the one who has the house put into their name if that's what is opted for: inability to control finances (overspending on silly things and defaulting on necessary payments, etc.) is a common thing with some forms of depression, and you mustn't allow yourself to be drawn down into this -- or to run that risk. "Falling out of love" and assuming others don't love you is also common with depression, so be watchful there too: make sure it's him making decisions -- listen, but don't get involved, as if he makes what he later decides is a wrong decision any input from you may mean that he end up pushing the blame onto you, which won't be at all fair, but again is not uncommon.

I know, it's a real minefield for you with this. I really hope he's beginning to work out there's something up with him.

Good luck and hugs,
Rosie x

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/8/2006 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zorna,
 
I had been wondering how things with your brother had been going.  I'm sorry to hear about the house but I think that was inevitable wasn't it?
Its great that he has such a support in you.  I hope that all of this now makes him want to get some help and start to sort his life out.  You can only do so much remember that and as much as you want to help him, he has to want to help himself.
I hope things start to get better and he decided whether or not he's going to live with you.  It might be a good solution for the short term until he gets some help.
Take care and hope you aren't too stressed out with all of this going on.  It must be hard on you too.
Post here anytime and let us know how things are with you.
 
Take care
Victoria x
 
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age
 
dx: IBS 2002, Ulcerative Colitis 2004, Depression 2004, Anxiety 2005
 
meds: lexapro 10mg, prednisilone 10mg, mebeverine 20mg
 
 


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/8/2006 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I know that I don't know all of the facts of your brother's situation but perhaps if he moves in with you he could rent the house out for the cost of the mortgage plus fees for a few years. That way he would not loose the house and might be able to move back in when he is able to handle it. Property Management companies only take 10% of the rent and you can raise the rent amount to cover their fees.

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/9/2006 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Thats a good point strong lady
 
Something to think about zorna....
 
Hope you are ok today - good luck with everything
Victoria x
 
cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age
 
dx: IBS 2002, Ulcerative Colitis 2004, Depression 2004, Anxiety 2005
 
meds: lexapro 10mg, prednisilone 10mg, mebeverine 20mg
 
 


cliche SAHM
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 8/11/2006 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Do NOT let your brother sign over the deed to his house to someone "temporarily" in hopes of getting in back in a year or so. This is a HUGE real estate scam, and companies here in Colorado have been getting rich doing just this. (Once the people have signed over their deeds and have had their house deeds taken from them for no money they have been evicted, even after being assured that this will not happen) He'll lose any equity in the house, and never get any money out of it. Unless he signs it over to a close relative, like you (making you responsible for the payments), until he can get back on his feet again, I would say signing a quit claim deed is a BAD idea. He should sell it outright if possible, or consult a lawyer for other options. If he has any equity in the house, he could take out a second mortgage to cover the amount he owes in arrears plus a couple of months of upcoming mortgage payments, which could buy him enough time to sell the house at possibly a small profit once his first and second mortgages are paid off. He can see if his bank can arrange for this for him.

You are a good sister to want to help your brother, but don't save him financially. (Don't get your money involved or he'll never learn anything from this horrible lesson.) Take care of yourself, and be there for him to cry on your shoulder, or to vent to. BUT, you don't owe him anything but love. You don't need to give him personal advice that could come back to bite you, and you don't want to solve his problems for him. Good luck with this, I know it's hard to watch someone you love have to learn from their mistakes, but he'll be stronger in the end.

stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/11/2006 9:07 AM (GMT -7)   
cliche SAHM I was not talking about signing over the deed to his house.  Reputable property management companies do not do this.  Coldwell Banker is one company that we have had wonderful success with.  You do sign a contract but it is only to authorize the property management company to collect the rent and make repairs when needed.  When repairs are needed they are obligated to get 3 bids and then oversee all work to be done.  This is not a way to get rich quick, it is a way to retain ownership of the house while not having to deal with issues that may be stressful at this time.

cliche SAHM
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 8/11/2006 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry, I didn't mean this in response to your post at all, I was referring to the original post where zorna was mentioning that her brother was thinking of signing the deed over to someone else for a year. I am sorry for the confusion... I think your idea is a good one, and is one of the many ideas that her brother should consider to help him get out from under the financial bind he is in.

Apologies for mis-understanding, I should have made my post more clear in which post I was referring to to begin with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/11/2006 9:47 AM (GMT -7)   
With you on that one Cliche, and also with you on Strong's idea being a good one!

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************

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