Hi IFIXDIT, What Rosie said makes much sense. The thing I am wondering is if you have a relationship with your father now? I does seem that you hold much anger and resentment toward him for his treatment of you and that is very much understandable.
I went though a whole long convulated a thing with my real dad and for a long time held alot of resentment toward him also. The one thing that helped me over come it was that I had to learn and except him for who he is. I needed to know that I did not have the power to change him or his attitude. He also deals with issues from his own upbringing so, that makes it a vicious cycle. Once I realized that and excepted it I had to decide if I wanted him in my life or not. That power was mine and will always be mine.