New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 8/17/2006 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Els, you were so right!  I've had my second session with my therapist and she asked me what I wanted to get out of our sessions together.  I explained to her that I had always had a problem with low self-esteem, that I had been having flashbacks lately, that I wanted to find a better way to deal with stress dealing with my family (among other things), and that I really wanted to be able to find my voice again.  That deep down inside I know that there is this amazing woman who is highly capable and confident, but when she's disempowered she completely shuts down and can't even form coherent thoughts.  And what she said is exactly what you told me a while back - that you hoped that therapy would give me some skills and tools to handle situations that I'm thrown into when I don't feel comfortable or confident.  'Cause we can't all walk around in a world that completely adores us all the time!  :) That for better or worse we sometimes can't get out of situations that are not in our best interests to be in in the first place.
 
The more that I've been thinking of things lately, it seems like all of this past abuse stuff started coming up again when doofus (the most recent ex-boyfriend that you've heard much too much about) completely disrespected me and ignored my request of no contact.  To me, it seems like a complete disregard and lack of respect.  In some way, my brain is processing the actions and have associated them with past wrongs and have lumped them into the pile of other actions taken against me that I have also spoken out against. 
 
Why can't some people understand that NO means NO?

stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/17/2006 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah!!!!! Girl you are so cool and on your way!!! Congratulations and keep going.

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/18/2006 1:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Well done Sadsong -- these are all really important realisations. You *will* get your voice back -- think you've started to do this already. -- Great going!

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/18/2006 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sadsong,  I am so happy that thearpy is working out for you.  Your a strong woman and will find that inner confidence to stand up and take charge again regardless of what is thrown into your path.  Thearpy will help you with those skills and to recognize potential abusive behavior from others and either avoid it or stand up to it, instead of excepting it.  Especially addressing past issues of abuse and being able to let go of blaming yourself for it happening and all the negative feelings associated with it takes a huge weight off and then you will be able to start to rebuild your self esteem and confidence in yourself as a good person and as a woman.

As for the ex....well, there is no accounting for psychotic behavior.  I think you were very smart to get out of that relationship when you did as he seems to be very unstable with his Bipolar.  I can also understand how you would associate him with your past issues as toward the end of your relationship it did become abusive...at least verbally (I dont recall if there was a physical incident? I am thinking there was?).  Is he wanting to get back together with you now...is that what the problem is with him?  I have sometimes wondered why some people dont understand the word "NO".


 


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 8/19/2006 10:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Ya'll are so great! :) And Els, you are so right on target, as always! I mean my therapist really understands me and can clearly articulate the range of thoughts and feelings that I'm going through on a particular issue. It's pretty amazing! And so validating! I guess that's the most important lesson I've learned so far. That even though I may feel completely alone and isolated - many other people out there (and on this board) have gone thorugh similar or even much more troubling situations and survived and lived and have become productive and caring individuals. It'll take some work and there will be set backs and successes, but if this is something that I really want to achieve (and I mean who doesn't want to achieve a balanced and healthy life) then I have made a very important first step towards on that journey! :)

As far as the ex is concerned. To clarify, there was no physical abuse, but the night that we broke up, he said some hurtful things like refering to me as a "good friend" rather than his girlfriend and telling me to mail his computer back to him when I got myself a new one. Just really stupid and sophomoric things that I didn't expect from a 40 year old man. I'm not sure what he wants. He's sent me several emails over the past few months, but I have just deleted them. (Which my therapist agreed was the smart thing to do.) So, I don't know what he wants. I also think he's been calling my house, but refuses to say anything, since for a while I was getting at least one phone call a day with no one at the other end. I have since gotten a cell phone (I'm jumping from the 19th to the 21st century - I still don't own a microwave or a computer!) and will be cancelling my land line at the end of the month. So, hopefully that will lessen my stress a little bit. I'm also not sure if he's been driving by my house or not. It could just be me over reacting, but I've walked down Main Street and swear I've seen someone with his build automatically start walking in the opposite direction...

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/19/2006 2:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Sadsong I am really pleased for you. I have found therapy a great help and I really connect with my psychologist and can talk to her. Keep it up and let us know how its going.

Take care
Victoria
 
co-moderator : depression


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/21/2006 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Great forward steps! That sounds like something Robin would say to Batman, "Holy forward steps Batman!" LOL You are amazing!

Good luck.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, December 06, 2016 11:03 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,556 posts in 301,133 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151271 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Namie.
326 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Serenity Now, Scaredy Cat, Tick41, mpost, jabele, KatieBwithUC, pmm73, WORLD HEALING, peanut307, Traveler, iamamess


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer