Never ever think: it can't get worse

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poetdowns
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 8/21/2006 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Ha! I remember when i said that. Fate/Life is so eager to show you how wrong you are...
I just narrowly avoided being homeless, but that's only 'cause i won't live on the street. I've lived in a car, and if i had one i'd do it again; but i refuse to live on the street, if i'm homeless i'm jumping. And God will not let me die -i have no idea why not, but He doesn't.
No hope, no future, no family, no friends; more aches and sorrows than any one person should ever bear.
So, i'm in the one place i could afford. A small town called Tonopah. They don't deliver the mail here, everyone in town has to get a p.o. box and pick up their mail at the post office.
My body doesn't deal well with heat and overheats too easily, i get ill i get migraines, i'm a CA beach kid and i'm in the frelling desert. An hour away from area 51, even closer to the official nuclear bomb test site -60 years of bomb tests, great. 1 grocery store, 0 book stores, i asked someone if there was a bike shop here and he started laughing. Bike's got a flat, can't get an inner tube. The water is cloudy and no one knows why but everyone is scared of it. Yah filter the water but i don't know of any filters that can take out radiation. In fact a guy at this "complex" (cleverly disguised as a beat-up junkyard) died from radiation. I was regaled with that tale my 2nd day here. I should talk to the manager, "your ad didn't say anything about radiation (or cloudy water), i want a discount".
The ad was a total lie, i had no idea what i was getting into 'cause i was led to believe something different. Bait and switch. That trick works so well. Gravel. Broken glass. Rotting car husks. Heavy drug use among the locals. Comparatively, i was better off when i lived in a car, hmm interesting. And i'm going to lose my mind from the frelling heat!!!
I'm like a person 'cocconed' in an Aliens movie, "kill me, kill me." (lol, now my mind's wandering and i was actualy contemplating which is worse and if i'd trade places with that person -at least that's quick)

"Everyone wants to be me",
Poet

rybird
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 8/21/2006 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I lived in my car until I got a DWI by passing out and crashing it with no insurance after the bank sent a skip trace on it. After that I sleeped on the shop floor where I could work the few hours I was sober until I would be drunk again. This lasted about a year. Every now and then friends would let me stay with them and I could shower and wash my clothes. al long as I bought the boose or drugs from them. I got kicked out of the shop becouse I was always drunk and went to the salvation army. After 8 months I was kicked out again for drinking" the 12th and last de-tox in the hospital. I had given up. I was in a hopeless situation. It was below freezing outside. My parents wouldn't let me stay because of my drinking, me friends gave up on me, the hospitals were kicking me out. I prayed to god and got the devil. An amazing thing happened overnight. Because I surrendered, God slipped right in. In a couple of days my parents saw I was different and I now live with them and we help each other out. That was in Jan. 2004 I have seen miracles and you are about to become one.

rybird
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 8/21/2006 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I forgot to say I have been sober since that Day on Jan, 21 2004

silverlily
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/21/2006 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
poet, please tell me more about your bike tube.  size, etc.  i might have one i could send to your p.o.box?

poetdowns
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 8/23/2006 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Silver, thanks that was sweet. I have one friend in CA. She has a list of bike supplies to get and send to me.

Ry, i'm glad you had a happy ending, i really am 'cause that was not a good story. I have seen miracles. I've literaly seen supernatural intervention, "God won't let me die" was not metaphor or hyperbole. 'So why do you try?' is the inevitable response.

Most people live "normal" lives, subject to ordinary ills and griefs all humans share. A few are born into the DeBeers family, or such, and have lives of immense wealth. And, some of us have lives like a 12th century leper, or a slave of Egypt working to build a pyramid. Of course people like that want out; no sane or rational being spends years tortured in the Bastille and says, "oh no, i don't want to leave, let me stay here for many more years."
I submit to you, THAT would be insanity mes amis.


"Save the whales, collect the whole set",
Poet
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