This is just too much

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/21/2006 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok hey everyone. Im probably considerably younger than most of you guys. I just really need to let all of this stuff that im feeling out. Im only 17 years old. I got pregnant when I was 14 and had a beautiful baby girl when I was 15. The guy I was with started out great. But about 2 weeks after my daughter was born the guy I was with started beating me up. I broke up with him the day before my daughters 1st birthday. He was controlling obsessive and abusive. He stayed living with my parents and myself for about 16 months. He moved out one night because apparently I was hanging off of a guy who just so happened to be my cousin. Firtsly id like to say..the guy was on the other side of the street anyways...and secondly..we werent even dating so what the hell. He had his own room but he just HAD to sleep with me. I couldnt get away from him. There once was a time where i started cutting myself. It wasnt to commit was to make me feel that it wasnt him hurting me it was myself. After he finally left my house I felt a bit more free. But then he would constantly call me and tell me I was a ***** if I was even with my girlfriends. One night I was at a friends birthday part and he wouldnt leave me alone. When I told him to leave me alone for once he told me to come and get my daughter because he didnt want her anymore. Well that set me off. I went to his house and my mom showed up and I told her everything. A year and a half I was putting up with all kinds of abuse and I had had enough. He wants visitations without supervision and I feel so terrified that if he gets them he will do something to my daughter. Charges are supposed to be pending but the officer im dealing with is in Cambodia. Lately my ex has had his stepfather drive him around looking for me and my boyfriend. They threaten my boyfriend and call me a ***** and a ****. I had called the cops and they said they couldnt do anything about it so my father went to their house because I was in tears. He went and told them to stay the hell away from our house..they called the cops and guess what? Yup they came straight to us. Great justice system we have here huh? We have court going at the moment. I've been feeling very down lately. I had been put on antidepressants but took myself off of them because they wore me out. I cant eat I cant sleep and I cant get the thought out of my head that hes never going to let me be happy. I dont want to resort to hurting myself to try and make me feel better.  I tell everyone around me that im fine but I know im not. I dont know what to do anymore. Im 17 with the life of a 40 year old. And its beginning to kill me. Anyways, thanks so much for listening. I know this took up alot of your time if you ended up reading this. I just need to talk I suppose. Thank you.
I am sorry but I have had to a edit out certian part of your post due to discussing self-harm (being graphic).  This is against forum rules #1 of no discussion of self injury, threatened or intended physical harm.  There are many people who post who incuding kids/teens who could easily become influenced by something that we post.  So please take care in the future regarding this.  Thank you ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 8/22/2006 4:29:24 AM (GMT-6)

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/21/2006 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I posted on your other one this is a duplicate post hun I said in other one please get some professional help asap........
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/22/2006 4:39 AM (GMT -6)   

Welome to the forum, Im glad you found this site and i hope it can help you in some way.
I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I really urge you to get some professional help with this. Please see a doctor and talk this over. I know you said that the antidepressants wore you out but they arent all like that so maybe you could try a different one. Have you ever thought of some counselling to help with you with your depression and self harm? I think it would benefit you. I am posting a link to a site for you, hope it helps

Please get some help and keep in touch. Let us know how you are getting on. I know this must be a tough time for you but it can get better. You dont have to go through this depression alone. Please talk to someone.

Take care
co-moderator : depression

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/22/2006 7:08 AM (GMT -6)   
First of all you are very strong and wise to get away from him.
I got pregnant at 17.Married who I thought was a great person. And when I was 6 months along he threw me across the room so hard that I bounced off of the floor.
Because everyone kept telling me to get away from him,and because I was pregnant I stayed.
For 13 years I took major abuse. Both mental and physcial. I could not go anywhere without him accusing me of something. When I took the kids to my mom's to visit without him,he would call within 10 minutes of our expected arrival time. Going to work,he would call about 20-30 times throughout the day.
He broke my nose. Knocked my front tooth out. Held me down and did what he wanted if I refused to have sex with him since he disgusted me.
Many more things that I do not need to get into. But. Remember this. When a man hits a woman. He does not stop. Expecially if he is doing it when you first start out. After 13 years with him I finally broke and left him. I am still trying to recover after years of abuse.
My kids saw too many things. I thought I had kept them from seeing it,but now they tell me things that make me cry.
Find a support system. Use your family. Tell them everything.
Go to the police station and file a no contact order. And keep doing that until someone listens,and request a different police officer to handle your case.
Remember this: A decent man will protect his woman. He will try to keep her from harm. He will love and honor her. He will not hit her. He will not call her names. He will not threaten her.
You are worth more than this man could ever give you. Your daughter deserves to have a normal life,and to be around a daddy that does not hurt women.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/22/2006 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   

BLAC, you have taken some very strong first steps -

1. You stopped keeping this a secret and told someone.  That shows real courage.

2. You began legal steps.  You have to do this to document what has been happening.

3.  You realize that this is hard to deal with and came here.  Don't keep how you are feeling a secret.  If your family asks you how you are feeling, tell them the truth.  No one goes through this alone and it sounds like they will stand by you.

In addition to what you are doing, see if there are any services for battered women in your area.  They will have advocates to help you through the legal system and resources that may be able to help you along the way.

Keep in touch

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