Feeling terribly alone

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Sadgirl2
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/25/2006 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I am feeling so alone and isolated. What's stupid is I have done this to myself. There are  people I can call, but I feel like I have nothing to offer a friendship. I can't seem to get myself out of the house except for work, or a quick trip to the store, pick my son up from his house and take him somewhere...I just had oral surgery this week and am recuping, these feelings could be enhanced from that. I'm not sure.
 
I haven't been to church in a long time. When I was married my husband got upset with the youth leader so we stopped going. I'm thinking about going to mass tomorrow night. We'll see if I make it there.


Terri
 
 
 
 
 


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 8/25/2006 8:11 PM (GMT -7)   
i hope so, i too ahve trouble going to chruch b/c people begin to sak me how i am feeling and i dont want to tell them...so i say ok, the nthey say why havnt you been here?
i know how you feel
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 8/25/2006 10:07 PM (GMT -7)   
The hardest thing to do is to reach out when we need help. At least you did here. Good luck.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5.

Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 40 years.


Sadgirl2
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/26/2006 9:52 PM (GMT -7)   

I want to thank everyone for your responses. They really do mean alot to me. The truth is, I am causing my own lonely and depression. I have been hugging the line of do I want to live or die for a long time. Maybe alot of people do this, I don't know. From time to time, mainly from when I had a migraine I would stop taking my anti-depressants until I got so low I thought I finally might be able to end it and then I would push myself to take my medicine and would feel better.

The last time I took my meds was the end of July. The day after the last time I spoke to my therapist. She was on medical leave and something deep inside told me I would never see her again. She was telling me that she wanted me to see a therapist friend of hers to make sure I had someone to talk to and I just shut down. I started crying and told her please I don't want to lose you. She started crying and said she didn't want to lose me either...I haven't taken my medicine since. She died two weeks ago. I am seeing her friend and finally opened up to her the last visit.

I am going to church tomorrow morning. I tried Saturday night service, but only 20 or so people were there so it was more like a bible study and since I have been gone for a couple of years it just felt wierd. My daughter gets off work at 7:30AM after working at the hospital all night. She said she will try and go with me. Maybe it will help. My mouth is still pretty sore, so won't be able to sing to much...

I know I should take my meds. I shouldn't cut or burn myself. I should want to live. I don't know whats wrong with me. I had so much abuse in my life that is done, it's over, but I feel worse now then I think I did then. I don't remember feeling much then. I just hate feeling like this all the time. My one time when I get away from it lately is work. I go into work mode and know I need to lead a team to get our project accomplished. I just do it and push the feelings away. By the time I get home I am exhausted. Can't keep the face up anymore.

Sorry for rambling, thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

 


Terri
 
 
 
 
 


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/27/2006 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Terri,

Please give yurself some credit for reaching out here and for wanting to reach out through going to church: this is all part of your recovery -- even if that's so hard to see right now. When I first came here I had been cutting out talking to friends for a long time too, and I was feeling very isolated. I now know that I can come here and be totally understood, which is not how it works with friends who don't suffer from depression and anxiety issues -- one reason why I stopped talking -- takes so much explanation. Here I don't have to "explain": I can say how I'm feeling and people get it -- just like they do with you.

Yes, take your meds -- and if you're concerned about how they're working discuss your meds and/or dosage with your doc. I know going to the doc can be stressful in itself, but I think your self-knowledge is really showing at the moment and you'll know if this is something that needs doing.

Please, please, if you're ever at a point when those "wanting to die" ideas start moving towards actions (and I pray they never do), pick up that phone and get yourself dialing to a crisis line. You are too important to lose -- you would be mourned hun. Talk to us here about anything you like.

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************


Sadgirl2
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/27/2006 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I went to church today. It was wierd. Alot less people there than had attended before. I walked in with a father and daughter. I had worked with the father with youth activities in the past. He asked how I was and the family. Told him we were divorced and where my ex and son live...He didn't say much after that. I sat down and recognized a few people. Sang, although my mouth started getting sore and you know, they had some new songs so I didn't know them all..Then they said they wanted us to split up into prayer groups. They don't usually do this and they had to pick today to do it. So, I look around, got brave and headed down the isle looking for a prayer group. Said hi to a few people, told them I was looking for a prayer group when I spotted someone I used to sit by. She looked up and gave me a hug, asked where the family was and I said It's just me. She said come on your joining our prayer group (thank goodness). Everyone is standing in a circle, don't know most of the people and they ask for prayer requests. I told them I had one, but would need their help. That I wanted to pray for a friend of mine who had passed away family, but I was afraid I would be crying to much to get the prayer out (I was already crying by now). They said ok, got the other requests and then started praying. They prayed for Marion's family first, I cryed more. The person who had brought me to the group prayed for me. Thanked God for bringing me back to their church for giving me the courage to come and prayed that the congregation would make me feel comfortable. Her words touched me. I plan to go back next weekend.
Terri
 
 
 
 
 


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/27/2006 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
That's wonderful Terri -- so strong of you to go through with going to church, and so great that you got this support when you got there.

(((Terri)))

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************


letmebe
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 8/27/2006 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
 There, you have taken a step forward .... why does it feel that we fight so hard and then we just slip back .... i too have been on medication and have let it slip, ran out of tablets and almost can not find the strength to go get a prescription for more . you have inspired me .. i will get my medication tomorrow if its the only thing i do.
 
I have only just joined the forum and already i have been inspired by 2 different people. You, every single word I have read has already made me feel better. Well done for going to church and thank you x

Sadgirl2
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/27/2006 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
letmebe - I am so happy I inspired you. Maybe thats what we need to do is inspire each other. It seems so hard to do it all alone.

You made me smile for the first time today.
Terri
 
 
 
 
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 02, 2016 3:23 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,791 posts in 300,964 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151130 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Inhisname.
310 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
cupcakespinkgal, Alcie, 81GyGuy, Gemlin, Navigator, JayBee1, Worksop, Steve n Dallas, gilly2, Naomi, Lisa-Dionne, multifacetedme


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer