Got into a fight earlier this year.

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/30/2006 9:12 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm in Lousiana, and where I go to high school, I'm not exactly the most popular person around. That doesn't really bother me.

But this April, I got into some dumb argument with a guy who I'm kinda friends with, and I ended up challenging him to a fight. Like the idiot I am, I talked a lot of trash beforehand about how I was gonna embarass him, kick his you know what, and so on, even though I wasn't sure I could. So long story short, I got pummeled, totally emabrassed. The next few weeks I heard a lot about it from kids at school, and for some reason even people I don't know talked about they were happy it happened, or about how stupid I looked for it. My friends have told me about hearing people talk about it. Everyone knows.

I know someone reading this will probably think, "oh wow, what a huge problem" and think I'm just a kid who doesn't have any real issues to deal with. But ever since this happened, a day has not gone by where I have not thought about what I would do to take back what happened. It's made me so depressed to the point where I have considered suicide on several occasions. School starts back up again next week, and I don't know how I'm going to handle another year of it. I don't think anyone will really talk about it around me, but I don't think I can handle the feeling that everyone is thinking about what happened, every time they speak to me. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I understand there are people on here who have had to deal with death, or other truly awful things. I know that this being the worst day of my life means I've had it pretty easy so far. But thinking "Other people have it worse" doesn't help me. I still feel awful. Even though I know in the grand scheme of things, it means nothing, I can't bring myself to feel okay about it. To me, it's like the world is going to end. It's the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I can't do stuff I normally enjoy, without thoughts of it running through my head. I'll be watching a movie or something, and totally miss half of it because I hit an extreme low and start thinking, "What was I thinking? How could I let this happen?"

Post Edited (LADude) : 8/30/2006 8:17:16 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 8/30/2006 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   
HI LAdude,

Welcome to healing well

Do you have a school counseller at your school that you can talk to about this? If you can talk to someone about it it may help you.
Please dont think that we will think of your problem as small. Everyone has problems here and we are here for everyone so post here anytime. We are happy to have you here.

Keep in touch and please let us know how you get on
co-moderator : depression

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/30/2006 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   
school counselors around here don't really help with that kind of stuff. they just help you switch classes and what not. plus i don't really trust or like any of them enough to talk to them about that.

I've already talked to my family about it a lot, and they tell me the stuff I've mentioned like "in a few years you'll back on it and laugh". But the problem is, I can't wait a few years to feel better. I can't talk with my friends about it either because any time someone talks to me about it from school, I laugh with them, pretend that it's not a big deal and that I put it behind me.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 8/30/2006 10:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm almost three years out of high school, darlin', and I -still- know that anxious, queasy feeling one gets when something goes wrong at school and people can't seem to stop talking about it. I know the "what was I thinking?" jolt -- and I know how it is when you can't stop dwelling on all of the things that you could have done differently. The "what ifs" are the things that sometimes make acceptance hard.

But it's true, you know. These bad feelings will pass in time. Your problem isn't a small thing -- everyone had hard spots in life, and yours is no less important than anyone else's. Have you thought about seeing a counselor (outside of school)? I've just started seeing a psychologist, and let me tell you...talking about my worries and misgivings and fears really, really helps. If this situation is causing you a lot of anxiety, maybe seeing a counselor is exactly what you need.

And don't can still smile over the little things. Sunshine. Ridiculous TV commercials. Anything works -- just as long as you smile about something.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 8/30/2006 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi LA, I feel for you, school is rough and kids now a days can be so mean and hateful.  It seems if you’re not in one of the "clicks" or "popular" crowds then all the trash gets thrown onto you.  I went to a really big high school in Kansas City and the group of girls that I ran around with were often hateful and snotty to others acted better then everyone else.  I chose not to behave that way and was pretty much friends with everyone. 
I think that your anxiety over returning to school is very real and valid.  I agree with Victoria that school counselors should be available to students for intervention of things of this nature especially if it is something that has occurred at school and on school grounds.  However, when you’re dealing with a school that has thousands of kids, as I assume your does, as mine did, then it is difficult for them to function in this capacity.
I don’t know how much you have communicated to your parents about your feelings on this and how much it is affecting you.  But it would seem to me that they don’t understand the extent of it all.  I am saying this because of the responses you have posted from them and them making it like it isn’t such a big deal for you when it is.  Perhaps you can write them a letter explaining it all in detail and your feelings, this way they will get your meaning and will not have a chance to interrupt you or make it out to be no big deal if you were to discuss it with them face to face.
I am not sure what can be done to make it better but it would be nice if you had some support and someone you can talk to about it.  I truly hope when you do start school that it will not be an issue for you.  All I can say is hold your head up and is proud of yourself. 
We are always here if you need anything so please do feel free to post anytime.  We are happy to have you join us here.  :-)


Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 8/30/2006 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I went to high school in Louisiana and I know how difficult it is to seek help from the school. The schools are overloaded and underfunded.

Your pain is real and valid.

Would your parents agree to let you see a counselor? Your parish mental health center is a good place to start.

Is there a teacher you trust or respect? Maybe he/she truly isn’t aware of the extent of the problem. You might have to make that step to ask to talk to them privately.

One person, on your side, supporting you is a great source of strength in HS.

Hang in there. I know its cliché and I know right now feels unbearable, but it does get better. College is light years difference from high school. You are allowed to be yourself…and nobody at college knows and nobody cares about your high school history.

Also, this is a really good place to vent and listen…and just be with people who understand.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/30/2006 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
First of all welcome. I am really proud of you for acknowledging your role in createing this situation and for validating the way you feel about it. Both of those things are huge first steps to dealing with this situation.

I am the mother of a 21 year old son who through his teenage years let his mouth get him into a few tough scrapes so I am responding in mom mode, I hope that is alright with you. If my son came to me with this situation I would encourage him to take responsibility for his actions by standing up tall, looking the other boy straight in the eye and saying, "I was wrong and I am sorry." Those are very powerful words that for some reason people have a difficult time using but they are also words of freedom. Eating crow or putting your pride aside to do "the right thing" is often difficult. It seems to me that the anxiety you are feeling is because of the guilt you feel about starting this situation. You don't have to blame yourself to take responsibility. Blame creates guilt, accepting responsibility creates honor and strength of character. By taking responsibility you will be taking the high road and it is my experience that most people will respect you for it. The ones that don't are not worth your time anyway and you don't need them. By taking responsibility you may be able to open up the lines of communication between you and this other boy. The teenage kid grapevine spread the news of what happened and it will also spread the news of what a standup guy you have been. You don't need to apologize in public but doing so on his turf will say a lot about who you are and the strength of character you have. Also, acknowledging what a "bonehead" move it was may allow you both to find the humor in this situation and share a laugh about it. The word "bonehead" is not used here in judgment but in fond amusement at some of the situations my son got himself into. Humor heals like nothing else. I have no doubt that you have strength of character because someone who didn't wouldn't even be worried about this situation.

My last piece of advice is to take what works for you from this and let the rest go. Advice is free and worth every penny you pay for it. Best of luck and let us know how you are doing.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/30/2006 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi LA,

I second what Strong says here -- great advice, and that's just what I was thinking. Use the new academic year as a clean sheet (people forget a lot over the summer too -- I know, I work in a uni!) -- go towards others and mend the old so that you can embrace the new. Why not set yourself the goal of doing a nice thing for someone every day. -- It'll make them feel better, and make you feel better, and in the long run this will be what's important, not a silly lapse. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it and inform our futures by it.

Use all that energy that you're putting into your guilt to turn this around. -- I know you can do it hun!

Take care, and be strong.

Rosie x

People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 8/30/2006 5:45 PM (GMT -6)   

hi ladude-

well i agree with the two other posts above are learning about yourself and personally high school can be a weird place b/c you are meeting so many people from other backgrounds and social is an important thing that you learned something about yourself from this experience!! and that is a positive!!

try to make new  friends and or join new clubs this time around. try different things and try to associate with different people. you do not have to mention this thing that happened to anyone and if the subject comes up, causally say, hey i learned something from that....haha and now i am a new person!!!

let it go at that, your school anxeity to return will be over after you return to school and you may be surprised to feel that no body remembers it or chooses not to say anything to you about it and ---we were all kids once and all had to learn sometimes the hard way...i have a feeling that once you return to school to see that it will not be made much attention of.....and if it is, well...again you can repsond with well i learned something from that and change the subject and ask the person what have they learned this summer about themselves??????

9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 8/30/2006 11:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi LA, The great thing about school is that it's fluid. While it may feel that your still ( or will be ) the center of attention this next school year chances are really good that someone else is going to steal the spot light. If I could only count the number of times I was the kid at the other end of the finger pointing and laughs! Geek didn't come close to describing my early years. So please take my suggestion to heart. Accept that you made a mistake. Give yourself credit for recognizing that it may not have been your most golden moment. Hold your head up and look people in the eye. Not to challenge them, but to see that they too have their own "golden moments". I don't know of anyone who is perfect. It's how you learn from your missed steps that will prove who you are. P.S. going to school in the "South" is a whole world of it's own. South Carolina two different times for me and a trip through the Chicago school system to boot. 27 different elementary and high schools before I "gradiated". Good luck and learn how to keep smiling. Jer
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