should i contact my mom's 3rd husband she just threw away, he is 80?

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missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 9/3/2006 2:15 AM (GMT -7)   
i feel so sorry for this man to be thrown away from her like that after spending some 13-14 yrs with her, and her being the wicked witch of the west so to speak, i wrote him a nice letter saying how sorry i was to learn of him suffering and having to leave her house and into an apt. at aged 80....
 
i want to reach out to him somehow. i want to know if any of you think i should do this to talk to him on the phone, for i have his number.
 
i think he is on my side and i am sure that he thinks she is nuts now.
 
 tell me someone how i should handle this, should i let sometime go by before i reach out to him , but even so he is 80 and time is of the essence.
 
i want to think that i may have some words to help him get by this time for him now.
 
He doesnt like her that i know....or her actions and probably sees how she really is after all this time.
 
she will never know what a nice man she had to throw away from her life. she has thrown away so many people in her life and drove this family into the ground single handedly for the last 40 yrs.
 
please do not suggest a shrink for me to ask as they would say well what do you think you should do? they are only rhetorical.
 
i feel this man's psychic pain from her and want to be of some kind of comfort to him even if it is in a small way somehow.
 
confused   confused confused
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/3/2006 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I would be very careful with this situation. My mom drove her ex husband away,and I did keep contact with him for awhile. Until I saw the pain in my mom's eyes. No matter what she is still your mom. And it takes two to tango as they say.
Just remember there are two sides to every story. And I would go into the situation with that type of mind frame. Also,I would be careful what you said to him in case it got back to your mom.
Good Luck!
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


Kala
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 9/3/2006 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I would call him just to see how he is doing there is no harm in wanting to know.

As for talking to him about your mom and that situation...i wouldnt jump into it....build a trust relationship than talk to him about those things....it might be very touchy for you both...and i would just be careful.


XOXO Kala
&& maybe when people say you've changed
its because you stopped living your life, their way...


My reflection makes me sick
The pain we feel is nothing new
Prescription drugs and photographs
Love, loneliness and nervous laughs
What you call misery through anxious eyes
Is something I can’t see..


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 9/3/2006 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't think the world will ever go wrong when people reach out to each other in thoughtful caring.  Having said that, Perhaps you might examine why you are thinking about this.  I have no doubt that you feel bad for him but are you also looking for someone who will support the way you feel about your mom? 
 
You have recevied some good advice in this thread.  Stay out of the relationship between your step-father and your mom.  There is nothing good that can come out of getting in the middle of that.  There are legal resources that your step-father and mother will have to iron out (community property, etc) and you can only get hurt if you are involved in that.  I know this probably isn't what you wanted to hear but think this over carefully and be sure of your motives. :-)
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 9/3/2006 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you stronglady i think i will take you up on this advice
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!

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