A poem. from me

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Kala
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 9/3/2006 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
My Purpose

What is my purpose, my reason for being?
In searching so long, there's no answer I'm seeing.

Starting each new day, it's always routine,
A world with more color has yet to be seen.

I'm not who I wish for, I'm so far behind,
Turning to nothing, it's eating my mind.

Wishing to conquer and wanting to live,
I'd take this life over, my all I would give.

I want to be someone, I've pictured it so,
But I can't seem to find the direction to go.

For each step I take, I fall back two more,
Who clipped my wings from which I should soar?

I'm trapped here and lifeless, I've nowhere to go,
For each question I ask, there's no person who'd know.

So where do I turn now and how do I start?
This purpose I've looked for, I've yearned from my heart.
&& maybe when people say you've changed
its because you stopped living your life, their way...


My reflection makes me sick
The pain we feel is nothing new
Prescription drugs and photographs
Love, loneliness and nervous laughs
What you call misery through anxious eyes
Is something I can’t see..


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/3/2006 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
That's really good Kala. -- You write a lot? I used to and am doing more so again -- it helps me. I feel for you hun, I really do, but you are young yet and have so much life ahead of you to grow into your purpose -- or purposes, because I believe you will have *many*. You know what too -- most people your age never consider their purpose in life: that you do shows your capacity for looking beyond the day to day and finding positive things to do with the life you have. Have you ever made a list of all the things you'd like to do? It'd be interesting to start one and then to try to do one little thing every day towards some of your goals. I'd love to hear some of your dreams for your life Kala.

(((Kala)))

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Kala
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 9/3/2006 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   
AWWW thanks hun! ya i do write sometimes not that much anymore...i just never really wanted to. I was always good in english lol even though i dropped out of high school a whole seven times....and still havent finished
as for my dreams and what i want...

I want to be happy
I want to finish school
I want to get married (to patrick i bug him about it all the time)
I want to be a youth counsellor
I want to make a difference somehow or someway even if its little.

I want to know WHO i am...before its to late you know what i mean??

I ALSO want to gain some wait that would be nice lol

Rosie what about you what do you want, your dreams?
&& maybe when people say you've changed
its because you stopped living your life, their way...


My reflection makes me sick
The pain we feel is nothing new
Prescription drugs and photographs
Love, loneliness and nervous laughs
What you call misery through anxious eyes
Is something I can’t see..


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/3/2006 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
D'you know what, when I asked you that question I was thinking "Kala would make a great counsellor", but I didn't want to say it in case this was absolutely not something you were interested in -- but it is!! Yey!! I was *so* pleased when I read that. Why don't you start volunteering at a youth centre or something? That would be a great way of starting to make a difference right away. And yes, get yourself back to college when you're ready -- you're an intelligent girl (and I *bet* you were good at English!!), and it'll really help you get where you want to go. Ooh Kala -- I'm excited *for* you!!!

My dreams... hm...
For my fella to be well and us to be happy together again.
To own my own house and be able to do it up.
To be happy in my job -- or change jobs to one that makes me happier (I'm a little confused about this right now!).
To be able to look back when I'm older and smile at my life.

Well, that's some for starters! -- Yes, I do know exactly what you mean about wanting to know who you are. I used to feel that *a lot*. I feel I know myself better now, but there's always work to do. -- Actually, that's not a bad thing in itself, because the journey as you find out can be really interesting!

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Kala
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 9/5/2006 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
aww atedogs thank you that made me feel more confident. I never wriite poems that much anymore...i have a couple bid scribblers filled with poems but for the most part i burned them all!! lol Im glad that i was able to put into words how you felt and how i feel and im sure many others!!!!!

Well i used to volunteer at my little brothers school when i was comming clean from drugs...i was in my youngest brothers class it was so much fun lol all these kids would attack me at recess to play with them it was cute because my brother was so proud of me and would walk around ya this is my sister attitude lol

I went to my bestfriends school today on my break at work(i work across the street) and walking threw those hallways made me miss it...miss people i have secluded myself from school for along time..and im working my way back into going sometime lol

Wow those are good ambitions if you need any ideas about how to achieve them come to me i give better advise but am unable to always take advise. Im a little stubborn!

I am GOING TO MAKE sure that i look back at life and smile even at the bad times...thats truly important...because you can go through so much and if you can make it out "normal" your ontop of thiings!! you know what i mean jelly bean!!
&& maybe when people say you've changed
its because you stopped living your life, their way...


My reflection makes me sick
The pain we feel is nothing new
Prescription drugs and photographs
Love, loneliness and nervous laughs
What you call misery through anxious eyes
Is something I can’t see..


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/6/2006 5:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kala,

So glad to hear from you. -- I know the feeling on the advice front -- I'm *terrible* at taking my own advice but am a regular chatterbox when it comes to other people's problems and dreams!

I lecture at a uni here in the UK, and I just don't know anymore if this is what I want. I've had doubts before but then have got back into the swing and really enjoyed my job again. I think my current wobbling is because it's been a very tough few months with my ex (bipolar) and I haven't used my summer for reasearch like I should have done. So then I get thinking that maybe I'm not in the right job and should do something where I get up every day wanting to get stuck in. I'm going to see how things go when teacing restarts -- that normally sorts me out -- and not worry about making an instant decision (far to big a decision to rush). I'd love to design educational web sites, but how to become financially secure this way is a bit beyond me!

It's good to go to places like your best friend's school, that remind you of what you want to do and help drive you towards that goal. I really think you'd do great going back to school. Do you have any sense of when this might be possible for you?

I bet you were a *great* volunteer at your brother's school -- and lucky brother! Sounds like you got a lot of warmth and help in your fight against the drugs by doing that too. That's the great thing about that kind of work -- you're helping others and their response makes everything in your own life feel better too.

You rock lil' Kala!

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Sunnee
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 9/9/2006 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kala... that is truly an amazing poem and I can remember not to very long ago trying to figure out my purpose as well.. I think all along I new, I just needed to listen to my heart.
My Goal is to work in health care (I'm thinking personal support worker) Now I just need to figure out how to get there.
Your poem I'm sure has had everyone who has read it say.. that is exactley how I feel (or felt).
I do feel like my wings are clipped right now and I'm not who I wish for, I'm so far behind.
All I can say is Wow... you have talent
Building my bridge and getting over it

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 6:55 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,093 posts in 301,275 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151370 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, calvin1242.
402 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
sparkleplenty, 0311, summer16, Scaredy Cat, Park12, magoo2, LG13, Mustard Seed, Tall Allen, halbert, LanieG


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer