Hi IFIXIT, I agree with rybird here. I think a lot of us concentrate of the things that have occurred and happened to us in the past, and yes, I am also very guilty of this myself. It is difficult to wrap our minds around the fact that we can’t change what happened in the past if we came from abused homes or broken families. What we can do is except our past as our own and learns from it...whatever there is to learn from it. If your in therapy that should help you to do this...hopefully. A lot of us don’t have an example of being "happy" in childhood to go on but somewhere along the line you will find it.
I have always had a saying that I tell myself when I slide backwards a little and I used to tell this to my clients also..."sometimes we have to fall back a little to keep moving forward." I think it makes a lot of sense especially when you’re dealing with depression. You can’t expect to keep getting better all the time and improving and not have those bumps in the road. It’s frustrating I know and we end up taking it out on ourselves more so than on anyone else.
You said that your on Wellbutrin...do you feel that your having a problem expressing your feelings? or that it is leaving you flat? I ask this as you said that you sat and "tried to get mad at your wife" and I know some antidepressants can make people feel unable to express certain emotions. I felt this way on Zoloft and Luvox. If this is the case then perhaps you should speak to your doctor about it and see if the dosage needs adjusting or another med is required.
Lastly, it is difficult for us to change our lives for the better. I am certainly no expert on this as I too struggle everyday with this. But for me I don’t put much faith in being "fixed" as I would think that would be a perfect person I imagine and no one is perfect. We all have our little flaws that we live with...but the hope of being able to live in peace each day and doing so day by day is what I look forward to. Hang in there...
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease