Desperately Afraid

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janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 9/9/2006 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
It's me again. Sorry. I woke up this a.m. and actually felt a bit better...then as the day wore on I felt worse in that my anxiety was worse. I'm going to keep on taking the fish oil, but in the meantime, I don't know what to do...I've been on the max of Zoloft for around 11 years, give or take. IF it is getting where it's not doing the job anymore, what's going to happen to me? I was talking to the pharmacist and he said that the only antidepressant they use to taper you off zoloft with is wellbutrin and I can't take that drug. It was horrible for me! He says some pdocs just STOp the zoloft and start you on something else...my GAWD, how does a person get thru that abrupt change?!?!?! Is my pharmacist wrong (Oh how I hope he is!)? I am tormented by worry, part of my GAD. I've been nauseated a lot today. I've really got my mom feeling down too. That breaks my heart into a million pieces. In her frustration, she says to me, that walking around with me was like walking around with someone half-dead. That hurt my feelings so bad, but I understood her pain and that she was speaking out of that. She was driving and snapped her fingers in my face and said, "Can't you say something? I know you feel bad, but even when people feel bad they can say something." I am so terribly intensely messed up that I wish I could be dead if I can't be better. No, I'm not threatening suicide here, I'm just saying that I feel so low...so so so low. I'm pulling mom down into my depression with me. I feel sick and alone and afraid. Someone tell me something good. Anything to give me something to hope for. Please I beg you. Please. don't know what I'm gonna do. I hate myself. I really do and wish I could punch myself out, it hurts that bad.
janet
Bless the beasts and the children...


susan35
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/9/2006 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey janetlee - first let me tell you this forum is a wonderful place to get all the warmth and love of a big hug - please know that you are not alone - we have all been where you are at sometime or the other. This forum has some threads on what has helped some other members (apart from medications) that may help you to deal with how you are feeling.

Having said that, I think you should talk to your pdoc - there are a lot of new medications for anxiety  and wellbutrin is NOT the only option you have. Please discuss this with your doc - I am sure he will be able to give you more hopeful advice.

 


Sunnee
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 9/9/2006 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm new here so I hope I'm not over stepping here.. but I thought I'd just ask if you are getting any councelling at all?
I was talking to my Mother about all I've been feeling and going through and she mentioned that maybe my med's are not working for me as I've been on mine for about 7 years now.. so I thought that was a possibility and mentioned it to my group councellor as I don't see my family Dr until Tuesday... she said I could mention it to him however, I should not depend on the med's alone... and that I should stick to my one on one therapy sessions as well as the group one (I had missed last weeks one on one).
Building my bridge and getting over it


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 9/9/2006 9:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Susan and Sunnee,
I went to my pdoc (actually a mental health nurse practitioner) last Weds. and she said nothing about trying any other antidepressants. She told me to start taking my 200 mg. of zoloft at night, instead of taking 100 mg. in the a.m. and the other 100 mg. in the p.m. as I've been doing ever since I started taking it years ago. I'm just thinking that perhaps it will come down to me being put on another antidepressant. This is so hard. As to counseling, I had it for years until it became apparent that there was no more point to it. I never could master CBT either. I wish I could've at least done that much!
thanks,
janet
Bless the beasts and the children...


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/9/2006 11:34 PM (GMT -7)   
This is a whole new language to me -- what is GAD?  CBT?
 
I do understand just how low you are feeling, and how it hurts when your behaviors affect those you love.  If you've reached an end to the relationship with your therapist, it's probably time to find another one with a fresh outlook.  We do change over time and what worked one year won't work this year - that goes for meds, relationships, activities, jobs, etc, etc.
 
 

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 9/10/2006 1:23 AM (GMT -7)   
wmnak said...
This is a whole new language to me -- what is GAD?  CBT?
 
I do understand just how low you are feeling, and how it hurts when your behaviors affect those you love.  If you've reached an end to the relationship with your therapist, it's probably time to find another one with a fresh outlook.  We do change over time and what worked one year won't work this year - that goes for meds, relationships, activities, jobs, etc, etc.
 
 
GAD - generalised anxiety disorder
CBT- Cognitive behavioural Therapy
 
Janet -  I do agree with wmank here, we do change over time.  Maybe you could think about changing to something new: meds, therapy etc.  You may find that last time was not the right time for you to try CBT and maybe you could do it now.  Talk to your doctor about changing meds and see what he/she says about that and whether they think it would help you.
 
Take care and keep in touch
Victoria
 
Co~Moderator: Depression Forum
 
 


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 9/10/2006 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Janet, I don’t know if what I am going to say is going to help but I am going to give it a try any way...

First, I don’t think I would ask or seek support from the pharmacist anymore.  She doesn’t in your description of her seem to be very supportive or knowledgeable.  You do need to present these questions to your physician as you are doing.

Second, I was on Zoloft for years also at 200mg (at night) and it stopped working for me last September.  My dosage was titrated down and when I got to 50mg (yes, I felt like crap) I was started on Effexor XR at 37.5 mg and immediately felt better.  The side effects of going off the Zoloft stopped as soon as I started the Effexor...well, within 2 days I think, but it was pretty quickly.  I took the two of them together for 4 days then stopped the Zoloft and upped the Effexor.  So, Wellbutrin is not the only medication you can take with this.

Third, never have I seen it recommended to someone to stop taking Zoloft without titrating down their dosage.  This is extremely dangerous to do and painful to the patient.

I am sorry that you have to go though this. I hope you can make it clear to your doctor or the NP that you’re not doing well on Zoloft and feel that a change is in order if that is what you want to do.  Please do keep us posted.  Take care...


Elisha

Co~Mod: Depression

Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

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INNEEDOFHELP
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/10/2006 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Janet. First of all, you are not alone, many times I feel so anxious and isolated that many things seem not interesting, which makes afraid specially of failure. However, I have my family to hold to, they are the tree branch that I can grab down the river.
 
Being here is already a miracle, in fact, you are a miracle, therefore, you are here on this planet for a reason. You are going to get well.
 
I agree that your pharmacist is NOT the right person to councel you about your meds. For example, recently, I was informed that I was taking two anxiety drugs, but no antidepresants. Now, I was prescribe paroxetina and started to feel better.
 
In the past, I was going from one doctor to another and never completed treatments, now I found a way to get help and no matter what I will stick to it. If there is professional help available go ahead.
 
One last thing, if you have come these far for me that means you are strong inside, right now you believe you are not, but believe me you are. I been fighting a kind of depression that for more than 30 years, I am 37 now, and thanks to God I improve in about 70%, before I thought nothing was possible.
 
YOU ARE A STRONG FIGHTER. YOU ARE GOING TO WIN THESE BATTLE SOON. HUGS.
 
yeah  HAC3000

Post Edited (INNEEDOFHELP) : 9/10/2006 4:21:24 PM (GMT-6)


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 9/10/2006 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Janetlee, first of all your pharmisist is not your pdoc.  Stop taking advice from someone who doesn't know your entire situation.  Call your pdoc and discuss all this with him/her.
 
You are NOT pulling your mother down with you.  She is responsible for herself and if she says those things to you when you, especially when you are down, she is just being nasty.  Perhaps she is pulling you down instead?
 
As everyone here has said, and I think deep down you know, you are strong and you will deal with this.  As is so difficult with anxiety,  you  have to let your intelligent mind take over and be stronger than your emotions.  You are strong and smart and I know you can do it.
 
Call your pdoc and find out the answers to all your questions instead of just worrying and making up the answers.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 9/10/2006 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all.
I will be going to NP on weds. most likely. we'll see what happens. And you're right about the pharmacist...he gave me misinfo before! Truly-thank you ALL!
janet
Bless the beasts and the children...


HealthyAnnie
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 9/10/2006 9:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Janetlee,
I hope you are feeling better...
I was on Zoloft for a few years then Paxil, and I was in therapy with a CBT approch which helped. But when I began to go off them I went crazy! I decided there had to be an alternative to the drugs. I researched and found a company that does neurotransmitter balancing naturally through amino acid therapy. This was all done under the supervision of a CN who is educated in this field. I was able to see my neurotransmitter levels and then began taking the amino acid supplements that naturally balanced and improved my levels. It took me about 6 months to totally get off the drugs, and sometimes people dont. But the best part about the amino acids is that they are rebuilding your neurotransmitters, rather then depelete them like many SSRI's do when you go off them. I also take the fish oil-which I think helps too.
I hope that you find a program or meds that work for you and feel better soon!
Annie

janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 9/10/2006 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Annie. I'm glad you've gotten help! I doubt we have amino acid therapy in my town, but even if so, I couldn't afford it. I'm on medicaid. Isn't life sweet? Sigh......
janet
Bless the beasts and the children...


nickflex85
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/11/2006 1:33 AM (GMT -7)   
pray a lot to god and ask for help with your problems. it helps to pray. im not trying to be too religous but being able to express yourself with no problem, noone to make you feel bad really helps. and with the drugs you dont need them. it sounds a lot like you rely on them to fix you. try to exercise. start off with a walk then try to run.. then maybe get a little wieght set and learn how to use them. really that will help you. you feel bad, that will make you feel better. trust me. good luck.
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