Hi...Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are happy to have you join us. It is difficult to post the first time and especially to strangers but I have found this forum to be most supportive and the people very understanding...I hope you do also.
I often get the feeling that I want to cry or need to but cant. I also take a high dose of Effexor XR 225mg a day. So perhaps the medication is what is keeping you from crying...I believe that is what does it for me at least.
SS has some very good feedback for you and to that I dont have much to add except maybe some counseling would be a good option...especially in dealing with the death of your mother in law. Do speak to your physician and let them know how your feeling...as SS stated it may be time for a med change, I dont know.
Please do feel free to keep posting. We all have been there and understand greatly. Take care
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
It's great that you finally have access to medical insurance!
If you've been seeing a psychiatrist for your meds (god bless him for samples) then good - if you've been seeing your primary care family doc, then ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist. Better a specialist suggest modifications to your antidepressants. Hopefully you can find one that will spend time with you, discussing both your meds And! your current problems... one who will give you a 50 minute session instead of a 10 minute med check. You need a therapist for YOU. I understand looking for marital counselling - but would be concerned about it's effectiveness till you are more grounded in yourself.
If you hate your job, but can't afford to loose the income, then find another job. It's okay if your parents don't understand. No matter how old your are, parents will always see you as a child and see themselves as authority figures. A hard habit to break (on everyone's part) after almost 30 years. Perhaps freeing yourself from the demands and expectations of others would be a goal of your personal therapy.
I've probably not told you anything you don't already know ... just consider it a gentle reminder that you must take care of yourself. Keep posting ....