New here very dedepressed to many diseases to coup with

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Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/4/2006 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I am a 42 year old male , with multiple diseaes. I have Diabetes, have had 2 heart attacks, with 30-40%loss of function in my hearts left ventrical,I also have spinal stenosis and degenertive disk disease which has caused me to have 4 spine surgeies since 2000 adding around 16 screws 4 pins and 2 plates to be placed in my back,I am in constant severe pain, I also have adrenal defiency " low cortisol,testosterone," which are replaced by shots and medication, I have a few other things that i can't even keep track of,and all of this is causeing me to go insane. I need someone to talk to, If I tell my wife allot of this she becomes overly worried which I don't need her to be. My depression is taking over my life and I don't know which way to turn,, what do I do next?
 
Wolfer

bluemeanies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 10/4/2006 1:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Talk to your doctor about the depression. Many people with health challanges get depressed. Especially ones that cause so much pain. I have several health issues myself. You might needt to take anti-depressants but discuss it with your doc and hang in there.

jeffchem
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 10/4/2006 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
You might want to take your wife with you if you discuss this with your Dr. It will help her to get the same information that you get from the doc. You might find a support group for people with just one of your illnesses. It helps to talk to other people and again take your wife along. Does she really get OVERLY worried? OR are you just worried about worrying her!? Sometimes when we are depressed we are afraid to bother other people. We feel like we should be able to get out of this on our own. But we need to ask for help.

Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/4/2006 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I already take to types of anti-derpresents,and my doctor is very well aware of my deep depression. My depression is over having so many diferrent things medicaly wrong with ,, And that I can't work anymore ,its very long and involved,but each time I write I will try and tell more ,, everything from the pain to the medical bills to my wife worrying about me ,,not being able to do my hobbies and well just a ton more, A little more about me . I have been type 1 diabetic since 1989. I was 24 when I was diadenosed ,was fine one month and 25 pounds less,,and one month later ,,diabetic.. well I guess thats the way it happens, I was also a truck driver at that time and they took my truck lisence away at thet point. Since then I work for about 12 more years ,,then thet combinationof the rest disabled me. Since then things have really gone down hill. I tell more if enyone is interested and trust me there is alot more.
Wolfer

CheerDad
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/4/2006 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Many here have chronic illnesses, I do. I have had Crohn's disease for 40+ years and it is the only life I know. It is difficult to face the challenges that life brings especially when you feel like it's victim. I still see professional therapist to help me adjust to living with my disease rather than continually feel like its victim. Good luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5.

Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 40 years.


Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/9/2006 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I really truley need someone to talk to did I do something wrong or whine to much ,,,
Dx diabetes, spinal stenosis,osteo arthritis in spine both hips shoulders, chronic heart failure, adrenal defiecency, chronic pain, diabetic neuropathy, degenertive disk disease of the thoratic area of spine " causing triple fusion of t5-t6-t7 , 2 heart attacks,high blood pressure, and when i rember the rest i will post them ,, :(


lisa72
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/9/2006 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Wolfer, I empathize with your situation. There has only been one thing that has helped me. I found it through a friend who was suffering from major depression and now she is completely better, with no symptoms. It has also worked wonders for me (I was suffering with a lot more than just depression). It has truly been like a miracle in my life. They will work with you to figure out a perfect program for what you are going through.

Go to www.paths4success.com and check it out. They have a lot of stuff that is not on the site but if you tell them your situation, they will do whatever they can to help. They did with me.

Best Wishes Wolfer,

Lisa

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/9/2006 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I looked over the thread and don't see where anyone was putting you off. I hope you don't feel like we aren't listening, just letting you know what has worked for us.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5.

Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 40 years.


Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/13/2006 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
well its not like anyone was putting me off ,,its more like no-body was responding, I was really hoping for a few more comments on how everyone else handles there depression ,,or what caused it ,,I have many medical conditions,,and have lost several jobs ,,all really good paying jobs ,,and now put onto ssi disability.. Its got me so down I don't even want to live like this anymore,, I am not suicidle,,,but I don't want to live like this,,,My self worth is destroyed ,, I wish time would speed up for maybe 30 years . I know everyone's story is different, and evryone has thier own limits,, I know now that mine was after I had to start cathing myself 4 times a day,,, and when they told me I was addrenal defiecient. Since the adrenal thing my moodes are like a roller coaster ,,, and my ability to want to keep going with life is gone ,, I don't want to fight the conditions anymore,, i pay out like $500 a month in medication alone. not to mention the amount I spend on coypay and not covered doctor bills.. HOW DO YOU GO ON.
 
Wolfer
Dx diabetes, spinal stenosis,osteo arthritis in spine both hips shoulders, chronic heart failure, adrenal defiecency, chronic pain, diabetic neuropathy, degenertive disk disease of the thoratic area of spine " causing triple fusion of t5-t6-t7 , 2 heart attacks,high blood pressure, and when i rember the rest i will post them ,, :(


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 10/14/2006 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
It's truly very hard to deal sometimes with overwhelming medical problems, I've had a lot of things I've be through this year myself . For me right now I'm just dealing day to day. On Monday my medical bill will be just over $850. for my medical proceedures out of pocket after insurance. We don't qualify of assistance and it's rough because it's close to the holidays and I've got a teenage daughter. Plus I have another $300+ for physical therapy this year. At this point I'm just hopeing nothing else goes wrong like no more Asthma Flairs or anything medical. So heck yeah I'm derpressed!! It helps to get something out here and in the chat rooms. I'm scared to hell because of the medical proceedures on Monday, Doctor didn't explain a thing, just handed me a pamplet and I don't know what he's going to do.... I can't take any anti-depression meds because of the asthma and I've gotta stay away from some of the natural stuff too.. Insurance will not pay for a pdoc, so all I have is here to let out my steam.
Hope you someone here who can help.
sometimes reading a book from the library helps.
Vent away and Hugs lots of them yeah

Wolftears
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/14/2006 10:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Wolfer, so sorry to hear the fear and depression in your voice. I to have this disease and have been an advocate for our cause for along time and depression is nothing to mess with. Have you seen a Doc that specialises in Fibromyalgia? I know what its like to try every day to live with joy with multiple diagnosises, I to have heart problems and have 5 stents as we speak, a bad colon and degenerative Spine disease and so much more I do not want to write it all out, but I think you get the point. Please reach out to people like your doing, thats the best medicine for you to be able to talk with people that share your
disease and have been there done that. Chin up, your among friends, Wolftears

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 10/15/2006 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Wolfer, I have had depression for a very long time since I was a teenager I imagine.  I was sexually abused for many years by my stepfather which is what I believe brought it on along with anxiety and panic disorder that I have.  I think I forgot to mention Post Tramatic Stress Disorder in there too.  Anyway, I am 33 yrs old and have Multiple Sclerosis dx'ed for 5 yrs now. I have always worked hard at trying to put my past behind me and moving on...I went to school and have a BS in Psychology. I am working on my Masters now....slowly.  Last year I became very sick all of a sudden and ended up in the hospital for several weeks.  Had to have a pacemaker implanted to keep my heart regulated due to Bradycardia and Sick Sinus Syndrome.  I also had extremely low blood pressure to the point that everytime I would try to stand up I would pass out.  It was determined that I have an Autonomic disorder that had brought all this on.  I was unable to return to my job so I had to resign my position and file for disability.

It is difficult to live everyday in a body that wont work or do what you want it to or what it used to.  When I was diagnosed with the autonomic disorder and found out that it was going to drastically shorten my life span I was in the darkest place I think I have ever been as far as depression goes.  My mother pushed me into seeing a psychiatrist who changed my antidepressant, that was the first step.  Then he set me up with a counselor who deals with people have severe medical issues, that was the second step.  I didnt think it would help but I went and it just to be able to get some of my fears out and know that they were validated. 

 


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/18/2006 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
    Well I spent Monday and Tuesday in the hospital, Aftering getting results back from a MRI I had done on my head ,,,they said it showed white matter on my brain. This a sign of what could be several different dianoses or nothing at all, but with all the things going wrong with me my bet is on something they call diabetic mini stroke. I will keep you informed after each additional test.
 
Wolfer
Dx diabetes, spinal stenosis,osteo arthritis in spine both hips shoulders, chronic heart failure, adrenal defiecency, chronic pain, diabetic neuropathy, degenertive disk disease of the thoratic area of spine " causing triple fusion of t5-t6-t7 , 2 heart attacks,high blood pressure, and when i rember the rest i will post them ,, :(


judyinky
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/19/2006 12:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, I thought I would add my 2cents. Wolfer and all of you that posted... have been through the wringer and back. We have  a right to gripe as far as I am concerned. But, then we have to do something to change things and move on out of the depression.

Unfortunately, unlike horses, we don't get shot to get us out of our pain and suffering. lol Mabye not so funny to some, but I"m sure some have wished for that kind mercy at times of great pain.

Wolfer, I would say that you are very overwhelmed and scared. Your life has changed drastically and that is somthing very difficult to look at, deal with and accept. There are all kinds of feelings involved, loss, grief, anger, and eventually if you can not get stuck in these, you will come to accept things. It is like a death of sorts, don't you think. You have lost your ability to make money, your pride has been crushed, and you mentioned you are disabled to the point of self catherization. I know something about that. I have a 24 year old with spinabifida and she does that 4 times a day and has since she was small. It's not something that is easy to manage. So, there is embarrasment over that, I'm sure. And a feeling that you have lost a part of you that you used to could control to some degree.

I have been fortunate to have not been physically ill until about 4 years ago. I do have a psychiatric disorder, bipolar2; and now have prednisone induced diabetes, Autoimmine disease attacking my liver, skin and connective tissue. After reading your posts and some of the others I feel fortunate.  Although, I have been dealing with mental and emotional pain for many years (sometmes people don't understand that as illness) it can and has been devastating at times.

These things are harder for some to accept that others. Sometimes we hold on to the past instead of living today.. wishing we could go back.. I know I do at times. I would sure have done things differently in many way, esp with my health.  The fear of the unexpected is difficult and that " what else can happen"?? song has been playing in my mind for the past 6 months.  I am working on acceptance but I'm still pretty pissed that this has happened to me.  I have to realize that I have not got much control though, except to do the things that help me. Wrting on here helps me and I hope it helps others.

I know I need feedback and encouragement from others as I trudge through these illnesses. I've had a success today. Finally the medication for the Psoriatic arthritis is working after 3 months.

I am hoping that by now you have some answers from the procedure you had done.

My best to you in dealing with these life changing and painful issues. I pray you can come to accept things in time and live with some serenity.

 

Sincerely,

Judy

 


"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."

             

 




els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 10/19/2006 8:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wolfer, I am sorry you had to end up in the hospital...I know that sucks sad .  I'm not to familiar with Diabetic mini stroke...have you had any physicial effects from this?  I am sure the waiting and testing process is scary.  It was scary for me when I was waiting for my MS diagnosis.  After my first MRI they found a 2x3 cm lesion in my brain which they first thought was a tumor and set up for a biopsy.  So I can greatly understand the waiting game and trying to figure out what is wrong is very difficult.  Please hang in there and know that we all are here for you.  Hugs

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


judyinky
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/19/2006 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Unfortunately, unlike horses, we don't get shot to get us out of our pain and suffering. lol Mabye not so funny to some, but I"m sure some have wished for that kind mercy at times of great pain
 
Now that I have read my post over,I regret the above statement I was trying to make a point that sometimes we feel like we want to be put out of our pain, but I think I said it in a pretty crude way.  I didn't mean to offend anyone and hope I didn't.
 
Sincerely,
 
Judy
"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."

             

 




wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/20/2006 6:52 AM (GMT -7)   

(((Judy))  No offence intended and certainly none taken!  No apology necessary for truth and honesty.  I have similar thoughts at times.  We are 'allowed' to be caring, compassionate, responsible pet owners ... I've been thru it twice with my old, terminal, best companion cats.  sad

Alieviating our own suffering is much more complicated and dependant on both the medical profession and our own internal stength and resolve. 

I'm delighted to report that a personal fear has begun to ease.  In making this move from TX to AL, a huge concern has been finding competent doctors.  As of yesterday, I've lined up a good team for husband that he really likes: GP, Psychiatrist, and Pain Mgt Specialist.  Am soooo! relieved.  I've found a GP for myself, too ... will go back to TX soon for followup with surgeon and oncologist, but feel lots more confident about locating good specialist in AL for me when we get back next year.

Having a supportive medical team and appropriate meds is a key for all of us.  Not always easy to accomplish... :-)


judyinky
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/20/2006 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for that. I had hoped that it wouldn't upset anyone, and still do.

I"m glad you have found a reliable and competent health team for Warren and yourself. That has to be a load off of both of you. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of surgery was it? Did you have it, or was it your husband. I"m rather new on here, so am not up to snuff on everything going on, or everyone.

I agree with you about the medical team. I have several specialists and they are very supportive. If they weren't, I woudn't be there.

Hope you have a good day.

Be Well,

Judy
"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."

             

 




Wolfer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 10/21/2006 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Well i spent the rest of the week I spent at Doctor appoinments ,trying to get some of this figures out. Now it seems the are leaning more towards Multiple Sclerosis. I have many of the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis, some are muscle spasms, cramps, dropping things, bladder control, multiple bladder infections, worse symptoms when its hot  ,eye problems including " blurry, loss of, and double ", severe fatigue. Are some of the most prevalent problem. Not to mention all that it  seems that I might be having more problem with my degenerative disk disease. It is all just overwheling,,. I truley wish that  I was that horse that was talked about before ,, cause this truley isn't what anyone can consider a life. My life was bad enough when I had to quit working ,now I can't hardly do any of my hobbies.  I am stuck in this dam house ,, I can't drive more than a couple  miles because I can't be trusted ,, This sucks ,,, .. well enough of my complaining for now ,,
 
Wolfer
Dx diabetes, spinal stenosis,osteo arthritis in spine both hips shoulders, chronic heart failure, adrenal defiecency, chronic pain, diabetic neuropathy, degenertive disk disease of the thoratic area of spine " causing triple fusion of t5-t6-t7 , 2 heart attacks,high blood pressure, and when i rember the rest i will post them ,, :(


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 10/21/2006 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Wolfer, I am so sorry to hear that they are leaning toward that diagnosis.  As you know I was diagnosed with MS 5 years ago, I was 27 at the time right before my 28 birthday.  Mine presented with total right sided numbness so I was much like a stroke victim.  I didnt have any other medical problems at that time other then some kidney damage from a severe infection many years before.  I was newly married and had a really hard time dealing with my diagnosis as did my husband.  Physically speaking the MS is manageable...it is so scary when they say the words "multiple sclerosis" because you automatically think that your going to end up in a wheel chair crippled for the rest of your life but, there are amazing treatments for it now that they didnt have even 10 years ago that slow the progression down.  And very few do end up in that wheel chair.  To tell you the truth, I dont even think so much about it anymore.  I get up and my leg and hand may be numb and I might have spasms in my back I just take something for it and go on with my day.  But that is just me.  You can visit the Multiple Sclerosis board here on HW there are many who are in limbo land (those who havent gotten a diagnosis yet) and get lots of information on it.  That forum is what drew me to HW to begin with...I dont post over there anylonger but they all are a great group of people.  Please do keep us informed and take care.

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/21/2006 10:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Wolfer said...
it  seems that I might be having more problem with my degenerative disk disease. It is all just overwheling,,.
I don't know enough to comment about the possibility of MS, other than to say it's bound to scare the bejabbers out of you.  Hope they can confirm or qualify a diagnosis quickly and get you started on some treatments.
 
Husband has back problems, had lamenectomy 4 years ago - went from horrible pain and a walker to being okay and using a cane occassionally.  He has had more pain this summer - needs day surgery to remove the screws that originally held the spinal rod in place at L4/5, S1.  It was a very successful surgery for him, but I do understand chronic back pain.  What is currently being done about your degeneration?
 
Judy ... I had a highly dysplasic anal ulcer excised in 2004, and in Jan of this year was diagnosed with rectal cancer.  Had APR surgey in Feb resulting in permanent colostomy.  No chemo or radiation required; just surveillance.  History includes lithotripsy for a kidney stone in 2004, Type 2 diabetes dx in 2003, sleep apena and c-pap dx 10? yrs ago, well contolled high bp, and a couple of old cadiac infarcts that I didn't know anything about, but showed up on EKG.  Best advice I can give anybody is to go get annual colonoscopies! 
 
Wolfer ... "Overwhelmed" seems almost an understatement of what you are going through.  You're right, it sucks.  Despite the medical issues, you've lost a lot of independence, driving, etc, right now and that can be soul destroying.  Post often and let us know how you are doing - I don't call it complaining, I call it sharing with people who care!   :-)

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/24/2006 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Thinking of you, Wolfer ... when will you get results re MS?

Judy ... how are you? 

I'm struggling with the worse cold I've had in years.  Diabetes walk Saturday, art show with daughter Sunday, yard work yesterday despite runny nose ... and COLD temps all 3 days.  Need to go back to TX where forecast for today is 81.   :-)


graceannrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 10/24/2006 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Wolfer,

Hi, I am wondering how you are doing. Your post caught my eye because I sometimes feel the same way "depressed, too many disease to cope with".

However, all my separate conditions (psychiatric, neurological, cardiac, adrenal & thyroid dysfunction to name a few!) are related to Lyme Disease, which is caused by the bite of an infected tick.

A few of my friends on the Lyme forum have experienced degenerative disc disease and other problems related to the spine.

I don't want to further confuse you by adding this into the mix, it sounds like you are overwelmed already. I only want to suggest the possibility of Lyme. You could research this a little and visit over on the Lyme forum if you had any questions.

Just a thought. I hope that in any case, you will begin to find answers and proper treatment.

Take care :)

graceann

2years
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/25/2006 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   

I know this is long, so If just 1 person responds when they have time.. 

Hi everyone. I just joined the forum because I think I've drained all my family and friends emotionally!(maybe physically 2 sad )  I am 24 years old and I feel like I'm 80. I have 2 beautiful boys, 5 and 2.They r the reason I keep going, although it is a nightmare trying to raise them thru anxiety and depression. Since I can remember I've always been an anxious and nervous person. I first experienced these feelings as young as 4yrs old, thats when I started school. Thru out the years I've exhausted my self avoiding social situatuions. Then when I turned 18 my life was turned upside down. 2 make a long story short, I was misdiagnosed wiht HIV. U think I would have been ok when they finally found out it wasn't that. But instead it left me a wreck. I was even more terrified 2 go 2 the docs 4 anything, thinking I was always going 2 get bad news. I stuffed that experience and tried 2 go on w/ my life. I had my first son at 19. Ideveloped pre eclampsia and it damaged my kidneys, heart, and nerves! I was depressed, and thought I was dying but I slowly got better 2 my surprise. I was scared to have another child again, but the docs told me that it wasn't likely that i would have those complications the 2nd time around. Well  I didn't have the same complications, just MORE! At 22 I had my 2nd son, and immidiately I developed severe insomnia. I didn't know why. My doc said it was just post partum depression and it would go away w/ the paxil. It never did. My insomnia got so bad I was hospitalized. Then my gallbladder went bad and I needed that removed! The surgery went horrible and I ended up in icu needing 5 pints of blood! Everything just made me go CRAZY. The docs now say I have a ,mood disorder, but who wouldn't w/ so much sleep loss? Just this past month my 2 year old stopped breathing! He has horrible tantrums, and what the docs call breath holding spells. I had never heard of it until this happened. I thought my baby was dead.He was limp and blue. I was paralyzed w/ fear barely able to dial 911, while my husband did cpr. By the grace of GOd he started breathing again after a few mins, which felt like eternity! I'm scared to b alone w/ him because I' 2 nervous it will happen again. I wonder how I can keep living w/ so much emotional and physical pain. I've tried atleast 4-5 diff meds, and 4 diff psychs! Nothing manged my problems long enough. I pray 4 everyone that is suffering, please pray 4 me.


FUNNEL
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/25/2006 4:51 PM (GMT -7)   
DEAR 2YEARS,
all you can do it take it one day at a time, if necessary 1 min at a time. You have a reason to live...your beautiful children.
you have been through rough times...
I'm not a mom... but I do remember my nephew held his breath when he was a baby.....scarey stuff. I wonder if it's a way they show their anger and frustration?
Do you have any support... Husband...church, united way?
One resource for me...that keeps me going....is my family dr.
and when I was in big trouble with my nerves...I get intervention at the ER.
there is nothing wrong with venting here if u need to....if it gives you the strength to carry on. God bless...I pray god Gives you strength ......
try not to let the fact your family/friends don't want to hear....it's probably because they have their plates full.....

god bless

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