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Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 10/25/2006 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   

I usually was on the lupus boards and when me life started spinning out of control I with drew from everything.  My life slowly yet swiftly became a somber drone existence.  It is almost a subliminal rhythm yet deafening throbbing of thoughts that are constantly in my mind. I can’t even escape in sleep.  I try so hard, but I only see quick sand when I look down.  I am sick, I know that, I don’t want to be, I’m just so tired.  I just never thought every bit of happiness could instantly vanish without a trace.  The more seizures I have, the greater my depression grows.  I am confused has anyone felt so powerless? I have held it together as long as I can, I want to stop hurting.  Thanks for listening.


DX:  Migraine; SLE; Diverticulitis;HB;neuropathy and renal issues:seizures; sjogrens


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 10/25/2006 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Julia -- I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I am going through extremely difficult times right now too but wanted to stop by and offer you a word of encouragement. What kinds of things do you enjoy? THe absolute best thing that you could do for yourself is do that as often as possible. It sounds so simple but during the moments that you are doing those activities you will feel better. You will probably feel bad again but at least for that time you will feel good. Also, are you taking anti-depressants? Chronic pain is a depressant all by itself but I see that you suffer a lot of physical pains. I suffer with chronic migraine. Do you have pets? Do you like them? My dog has saved me from checking out of life. They make you feel so good. They just love you so darn much and how can you not feel better when they are aroud? I said a prayer for you (hope you don't mind). I hope that you feel better soon. I'm sure a lot of peeps on this forum will come along and offer you advice. This forum and the Anxiety forum are awesome. You are not alone. Don't hide from us. We care about you.
Talk2Kel 
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 10/26/2006 6:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julia, hopeful has given you some wonderful feedback to your post.  I too can understand greatly what your going through.  I have had depression for a very long time but when I was diagnosed with MS and then with my autonomic disorder my depression spun way out of control.  Long term physical illnesses are very difficult to cope with mentally and it is extremely important that we try our best to take care of our mental health so we can continue to take care of our physical health.  They do go hand in hand.  You may want to speak to your physician regarding your feelings and see about a referal to a psychiatrist or counselor.  And perhaps a mild antidepressant may be inorder to help ease some of these feelings that your having...of course this is up to your and your doc.  Please do feel free to continue to post here.  We would love to hear more from you.  Take care

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 10/26/2006 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you hopefulmigrainer & els.. I just got out of the hospital last friday after a week for kidney issues, I had been sick for a month.  This constant stress has pushed my family away.  My daughter left, no one wants to be around me because they say they can not deal with someone who is always sick. I try not to complain, but somethings are evident regardless.  I don't want to be a burden, I can't drive and they fell over whelmed.  Yes I have pets, and your right, they are a comfort.  Thank you for your advise and take care.
DX:  Migraine; SLE; Diverticulitis;HB;neuropathy and renal issues:seizures; sjogrens


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 10/26/2006 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Julia -- You should try to find a support group. I know that the larger community churches have support groups for depression and chronic pain. You need to find people who understand and will provide a sense of family for you. At least you found HW. You are on the right track.
Talk2Kel 
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 10/27/2006 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Julia20, you have a very poetic way of expression. You should write, poetry, stories anything that comes to mind. It won't "cure" anything but it might be one way for you to express yourself and get out some of the emotions you have.

This is a wonderful and supportive place. Keep coming here.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 10/28/2006 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
hopefulmigrainer & stronglady4me thanx for reminding me of the power of expression, energy & dilligence are a gift that I should recognize from HW.  I was encouraged by my Doc to go to a Autoimmunine group so I am going to a meeting next month.  Thanx again, my patience and faith has been bleached thin, a gasp of air has done me well.
 
DX:  Migraine; SLE; Diverticulitis;HB;neuropathy and renal issues:seizures; sjogrens


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 11/2/2006 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't know how the diverticulitis effects your other health issues but have you had it operated on?  I did 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.  I have been pain free, symptom free and trouble free since then.  Think about it.

Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 11/2/2006 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Julia -- I'm so glad that you are going to the autoimmune group. It takes courage to do that but you will find healing. Give it a chance and hang in there. I said a prayer for you. Take care.
Talk2Kel 
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 11/5/2006 5:14 PM (GMT -7)   
No I haven't have the diver operation, If I need to I will.  Thanks for all the support and hope everyone is having a good week.
DX:  Migraine; SLE; Diverticulitis;HB;neuropathy and renal issues:seizures; sjogrens

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