It recently came to my attention that I need to check in here. I sort of dropped off the radar without saying anything and I apologize.
I am doing fabulously well. I realized that depression only comes to me after 4-5 months of trying to fight off anxiety. I decided that I needed to work on what is causing the anxiety and moved over to the anxiety thread. I have had many, many breakthroughs about my life, about my family and about me over the last few months. Each one has brought me closer to true and lasting health. The most significant realization was that my biggest fear is that my daughter might be right and I wasn't there for her as a child. I let myself really embrace that fear and explore it. After that I held on to it for about 22 seconds before I realized what crap that is. I am a good mom, I have always been there for my kids and my daughter has some responsibility for the way she is feeling. She had opportunities to share with us but did not take them. We are working this out together. Since I got to that place of realization I have not had an ounce of anxiety. I also found my tears again. At some point when my first child was very young I turned internally for emotional support. The why of that is a pretty long story but the upshot is that now I have more emotional support around me and I don't need to hold on so tightly myself. It is amazing how cleansing a really good cry is.
I hope that this message finds you well. Don't stop exploring and facing your issues, it is worth it to do so. Thank you for all the support and help that I have received here. If I had not found this place I would probably still be fighting depression. I'll try to check in from time to time.
Walk in harmony