single moms with depression/anxiety

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zzzkellyzzz
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/30/2006 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, i just came to this site. I have read a few posts but not a lot. I'm a single mom of 2 young children. I have noticed of the past few months that i have been feeling so overwhelmed, more than usual. I have a hard time taking care of everything by my self and it's getting to me. I have no motivation, energy, feel like i just cant ever catch up. my house is a mess and I just don't bring myself to get it together which then leads to my anxiety. I look around at all the clutter and my anxiety kicks in. I have no support system around. just me and the kids 6 and under. I have taken zoloft before and was up to 100 mg/day at one pt. I haven't taken it in a while and just went to my dr today to get help for this and all she prescribed for me is 50mg of zoloft. I know this will do nothing, i don't want to sound like im pushing for drugs from her but I also don't want to sit around for weeks or mts not getting better. I want to be happy and useful for my kids not grumpy, sad and angry. i hate that i am this way. I feel sad that im alone other than my kids.
I hope to get some useful info on this site. im sure i will. I just wonder how other single moms keep everything together all by themself

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 10/31/2006 7:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Kelly, I wanted to welcome you to healing well forum, we are happy to have you.  I dont have children but I well remember my mother trying to raise my little brother and I on her own after a nasty divorce.  She has depression and has had it for many years and I recall it being very difficult on her and the effects of that did trickle down to us.  She didnt have a support system either...but as kids of course we didnt know this.

I too have depression, anxiety/panic problems and take medication for these.  I once was on Zoloft for several years and did very well on it until I started to go through my own divorce and then it just seemed that the Zoloft wasnt working as well anylonger.  So I changed medications. 

If you havent been on Zoloft in a while then 50mg is a good starting point.  You wouldnt want to start out at 100 mg as this would be way too much and too taxing on your system to begin with.  You take the 50mg for a few weeks, then give your doc a call and ask to be bumped up to a higher dosage if and when you feel that you need it.  Dont feel like your pushing for drugs...your being proactive in your health and that is something that a lot of people dont do.  It is hard to recognize that you have to take an antidepressant to make us feel "normal" or better but the alternative to do so is worse....so dont feel guilty, do what you have to for you and your children to get better and have a better life.

We are always here and I do hope that you continue to post as this is a wonderful site for information and support.  I am sure that you will have some more replies to your post...hang in there :-)


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


rehabnurse
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 11/2/2006 1:14 AM (GMT -7)   

hey kelley, i am also a single mom. have a dd who will be 6 in december, and a 4.5 year old boy with autism. it's hard.

i myself have chronic Lower back pain, anular tears, herniations, OA, depression/anxiety, mood swings (severe), fatigue, fibromyalgia, lupus, spinal stenosis, and most recently, cancer for which i am receiving radiation.

i get no support from my ex husband, and cannot find him to even fight. i am too tired to fight. i feel bad that i can't take care of my kdis i wouldlike to. i am so very sad, crying all the time. i sometimes wonder what my purpose here is. i don't want to end it, i want my life back. i want to be happy and enjoy my kids.

i am a nurse who can't work but one day a week (to pay insurance) because of the physical demands. i have bils piled up, collectorscalling,the works. i wish i could just get better. i am trying to get approvedf or disability.

i am sorry this is scattered, i just wanted to say you are not alone. i wish i knew a single mom around here i could confide in. i wish i could just be healthy and take care of my two precious kidsl. i feel so gad

_________________________________________________________________________

oxycontin 40mg TID, msir 30mg tid, effexor xr 150mg daily, royal jelly, MVI, folic acid, depakote (migraines), lipitor for cholesterol (600), maxalt for migraines, xanax/ativan for anxiety, ambien/lunesta/rozerem for insomnia. too many other meds too count right now. i have a whole box of em.


DDD, SLE, asthma, depression, anxiety, chronic LBP, herniated discs L2-S1, connective tissue disease, OP, migraines, plantar fasciitis.  
 
meds: Oxycontin 40mg q 8h, MSIR 30mg TID PRN, albuterol, cymbalta, xopenex, maxalt, depakote, singulair, celebrex.
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/2/2006 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
It is so hard when you are a single mom. Your life is your kids and you don't find any time for yourself.
I remember taking out the garbage at night was like an adventure.
When they get older,and you actually have time for yourself,you will be in a different world.
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 11/2/2006 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi rehabnurse, welcome to the depression forum.  I am sorry for all your going through...I understand the physical pain and depression well.  I have MS and an Autonomic disorder which doesnt help my depression any.  I had to stop working last year as my physical illnesses became too much and I was in the hospital for several weeks with doctors telling me I had to quit.  Just know your not alone...Please do continue to post here, this is a great forum here and everyone is most supportive.  Take care


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


wenmarie
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 12/5/2006 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
hello, I am a single mother of two daughters 3&4. My oldest was diagnosed with autism and just recently hearing loss, and severe behavioral issues. Last month alone I had 12 appointments just for her. How in the world can I find time to fix myself. I to get no support from anyone. It is very hard but my kids are truly the only thing that is keeping me going. I dont know how i do it i just know that i have to do it.

Lesleybird
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 12/5/2006 11:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,  My heart goes out to all you single mothers.  I will keep you in my prayers.  My mother was a single mother who had to do it all herself as my dad never paid any child support....now I am 45 and my dad wants money from me and he can go to h... as far as I am concerned.  My mom was always stressed out over money and trying to pay bills when I was growing up and never had any time for herself. I grew up and never had any kids as I did not want to end up a single mother, or even a woman who had to work and be a parent at the same time.  Hang in there ladies, you are much better and stronger than me.  Lesley

hazelbooboo
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/25/2011 1:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all im new here too and im a single mum with a nearly six yr boy who has autism tourettes and adhd and also has severe sensory issues !!! whew typing it makes me feel so sad but hes on the whole a happy child . I have times when all i want to do is cry and i do it might not help but gee a good a cry gets it out lol.
I have just been referred to a support group in my local area i refuse to take antidepressents been there done that got the t shirt they do help but it doesnt give u any extra support .
Im sure like all of u i love my child to bits and im a good mum but when ur a single mum u sometimes just need a hug to make u feel better and when u cant get one it can be truely lonely but ..........
I dont have to deal with anyone elses emotional issues
i dont have to clean up after another adult
I dont have to check with anyone else what i can or cant do
I dont have to watch what someone else wants to
i dont have to wait to have a bath cos someone else is hogging the bathroom
What im trying to say is there are perks to being a single mum !!!

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13837
   Posted 4/26/2011 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
jamie and male. just saying hi to the new members. good thread. mums do a wonderful job!!! with compassion, jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

hazelbooboo
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/30/2011 3:12 AM (GMT -7)   
some days i can say out loud my sons problems today i can barely think of his problems without tears streaming down my face gawd sake i need to get a grip but he having a day where hes frightened to leave the house hes five for gods sake !!!! I wish there was something i could do to take his anxiety away xx This is a day where i need a hug but im so so so alone : (

hazelbooboo
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/30/2011 3:16 AM (GMT -7)   
ugh gosh im having a tearful day i have many friends yet i feel soooo lonely grr

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35933
   Posted 4/30/2011 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hazel,

I am sorry for your troubles. Does your son have anxiety at an early age? I don't understand what is going on, but I hope it gets better for you. Know that we all care about you and wish you the best.

Take care and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

hazelbooboo
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/30/2011 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
thank u my son has autism tourettes and adhd and extremly anxious hes only five !!! makes me sooo depressed seeing ma boy soooo unhappy xx




Depression ibs sufferer

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35933
   Posted 4/30/2011 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hazel,

Do your best to keep a calm, quiet, yet happy atmosphere for him and yourself. The peace and tranquiltiy will calm him. I really feel bad that he is suffering from anxiety along with the other disorders. Children should be relaxed, not tense and anxious.

Do you go to any counseling for mental health? If not, maybe you should start. That way you have more amunition and support. You could learn some relaxation techniques. I do meditation. If you ever want some advice on that, just let me know.

I think, with some help, you can get control of the situation and you both can have happy and productive lives. You just need a little help and incouragement. And we are here for the encouragement part. Keep posting and know that we all care about you and yours.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

hazelbooboo
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/30/2011 11:59 PM (GMT -7)   
thank u for ur concern im due to start councelling very soon , im still dealing with the grief u feel when u have a disabled child its not what anyone expects is it when u have a child . Dont get me wrong i love my son more than anything but when u see ur child so distraught over the littlest things like going out its very stressful and depressing . Your so right children should be happy relaxed and free but sadly my son does not fit this at all he struggles daliy he is not aware of peoples attitudes or comments but when he shouts out people stare and he hates it when this happens thus making me stressed and sad that people are so quick to judge anyone different xx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35933
   Posted 5/1/2011 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, that's got to be tough. But be proud of your child. Don't let other's judgements get you down. I know that is hard. You feel like all the attention is on you. Maybe you could make it seem different. Make a game out of it. Or something. Tell people to mind their own business. Well that isn't such a good piece of advice, but that is what I would want to say, but that only makes the situation worse. I am so happy that you are starting counsleing soon. It will be a big help to you. It is alwasy nice to have an objective view of things. Ande maybe she/he will have some good ideas for you and your child. I sure do hope so. My advice, not so good. lol..

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Shell32333
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/15/2012 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello I AM a single mother with generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia my ex raped me and shoved me down of the ground and threatens me with a knife the last night i saw him i pressed charges against him and have a protective order
am not receiving any mOney from him and I am making a lil over minimum wage as a photo manager and going to college part time not receiving financial aid I pay for my school and I live in a hOuse with 5 other peoPle my grandma who is a perfonist my ggrandpa who is had mild cognitive impairment my disable alcoholic dad my selfish alcoholic brother N me n my daughter I just so confused on what I want to do with my life I wanted to be a psychologist cause my mom is skitzoaffective but time is running out bills are piling up and I feel like I'm going to loose my mind I got court dates to go for ex which is hard withh my social phobia but I just want to be patient and happy with just me N my daughter we but I just can't anymore I have no patience and I'm quite depressed

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35933
   Posted 1/16/2012 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shell,

I am so glad that you joined us. Being a single mom is hard enough as it is, but having all the extra stuff weighing on you is very exhausting. I hope that things work out. Did you press charges against your ex? I would. What he did was a crime against you. I am sorry it happened.

Are you going to any counseling? I think it would help toughen you up. Give you some strength and you can explore your options in life. You can get better with help. And we are here to help you too. Always remember that. You have made some new friends and you don't even know it yet. Others will be posting I am sure.

Keep posting, keep trying, never give up. Maybe we can even get you out of that house full of people, wouldn't it be nice for you and your daughter to have a home of your own? We are here to help you as much as we can.

Take care Shell32333,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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