intro, and a bit about my life now :(

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 11/2/2006 1:47 AM (GMT -6)   
i usually am on the pain forum, but i have depression/anxiety too so i popped in here.
i've really been battling some serious health issues. i've had chronic lower back pain for over 5 years for which i take oxycontin and morphine. i am really falling into a big depression due to being recently dx with a cancerous mass in my abdomen.
i also have lupus, fibromyalgia, asthma, OA, migraines. the worst is the mood swings. i am a single mom two two beautiful children, 4 and 5. i get no help from ex. and i am struggling. i have been unable to work for over two month, just started this week two days a week at a desk job. now i have a fever and i know i should not have been in a hospital with my immune system in the toilet. i'm supposed to go for radiation tomorrow.
my depression stems from physical/emotional abuse from exhusband, and ive  always been a bullied, unliked child. i wish i did not feel so bad all the time. i've tried therapy, meds, but i just can't seem to find a med that helps me. and now i can't afford it anyway, since my health insurance is going to end at my job (too expensive). after all those years of service, it's being pulled away.
i couldn't even take my kids trick or treating last night. my dad did. i was exhausted after seeing their parade at school in the morning and getting them ready twice.
so, i'm 29, a nurse who's basically unable to physically work (which i miss dearly) and i am in tears and pain almost constantly. i just wanted to vent and i am exhausted.
hello to you all, and i hope you all have a better day than i!!! thanks for letting me vent :)
DDD, SLE, asthma, depression, anxiety, chronic LBP, herniated discs L2-S1, connective tissue disease, OP, migraines, plantar fasciitis.  
meds: Oxycontin 40mg q 8h, MSIR 30mg TID PRN, albuterol, cymbalta, xopenex, maxalt, depakote, singulair, celebrex.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 248
   Posted 11/2/2006 8:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope you are feeling better today. Come back and vent anytime.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 11/4/2006 3:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi. I'm so sorry that you are going through so much right now. I do hope that you feel better soon and that we hear from you again. Take care.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 11/4/2006 3:09 PM (GMT -6)   
You are an amazing you cope with all this is beyond my comprehension really!
Give yourself heaps of praise - you are stronger than you realise I think. It's ok to ask for help from nearest and dearest like your Dad, and from friends too..I am sure your children don't think any less of you for it and your Dad probably enjoyed being with his grandkids.
Are there any other health and support services that you can tap into for help?
I wish I could wave a magic wand over you..and make everything ok...but I guess we all have our life map..and sometimes we need to go thru all this nonsense to get to the good stuff we all deserve so much!

Take good care. I look forward to hearing the next chapter in your life..and pray it's a goodie!
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