awww, atiba, you are going through a really hard time. My heart goes out to you and I lifted you up in prayer (hope you don't mind). It is very important that you do not hurt yourself because your life is worth living. You are just grieving and probably suffering Post traumatic Stress Disorder from your Moms death. May I ask you a couple of questions:
1) Are you seeing a psychiatrist / psychologist?
2) Are you taking medication for your depression?
3) Do you have 1 or 2 people that you can call if you think you are going to hurt yourself? If you do not, could you talk to them about this and ask them if they would be that person for you? -- This is very important
4) Is their any place that you can stay other than in the house where your Mom was murdered?
Please come back and post here for support. We are pulling for you.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."