The end is almost here for me i need help

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/17/2006 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
     Im Atiba
I am a 23 year old male, which had everything goin for me me until my mother died in 2001. She was murdered. Thats when it really started i (i was 19 @ the time) was jumping from " relatives" to "relatives" they was not not very helpful at all. so i moved back to location we used to live my mother, my lil brother n i used to live. it was very hard bcuz this was is where she died. ive been livin here now for three years working n goin to school. my recent job fired me bcuz every year i take the week off on the day my mom died. oct 2, so have been lookin 4 a new job , n i cant find 1 i filled out applications every where sent my resumes nothing. right now i just spent my last 20 dolloars on a metrocard for school. after that i dont kno wat to do. i need some serious help or i dont know what i will do to myself.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/17/2006 8:05 AM (GMT -6)   
I am very sorry for your mom. I can't imagine living with something like that.
My first thought while reading your post,is that maybe living in the same place that was a very tragic event in your life is not the answer..
For now though,can you go to the school counsler for help? I know they have services for students. They might refer you to the Human Services Department,which would hopefully be able to help you with some money,and then maybe get into the student housing?
I also think you really need to get in to see a doctor. You can't change the past Atiba,but you can make your future brighter.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Good Luck
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 11/18/2006 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Atiba, I am so sorry about your mother, I am sure it is very difficult for you.  I agree with what Shynsassy has said about seeking help with your school counselor, perhaps they can help set up some outside resources for you.  Does your little brother still live with you?  How old is he and does he depend upon you financially?  I understand it is difficult when so many things pile up on you at once and depression gets so severe...but just think how if you hurt yourself that would effect your brother...he has already lost your mother to violence, he needs you to be strong and to be here.
I am going to post a few links below for you just in case you feel you may need them...but know that we are always here and you are always welcome to post.

Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 11/18/2006 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
awww, atiba, you are going through a really hard time. My heart goes out to you and I lifted you up in prayer (hope you don't mind). It is very important that you do not hurt yourself because your life is worth living. You are just grieving and probably suffering Post traumatic Stress Disorder from your Moms death. May I ask you a couple of questions:

1) Are you seeing a psychiatrist / psychologist?
2) Are you taking medication for your depression?
3) Do you have 1 or 2 people that you can call if you think you are going to hurt yourself? If you do not, could you talk to them about this and ask them if they would be that person for you? -- This is very important
4) Is their any place that you can stay other than in the house where your Mom was murdered?

Please come back and post here for support. We are pulling for you.
DX: chronic migraine, cervical degeneration, depression/anxiety 
RX: Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Soma, Immitrex 
"You don't find out that God is all you've got until God is all you've got."

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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 11/18/2006 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Get help and get it soon. I wish there was more we could do here other than compell you to get professional help.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.


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