Hi windbownmonkey, I am so sorry about your girlfriend and your relationship. Depression is a very devastating disease for the person who has it and for everyone who is in that person’s life. I can relate to a lot of what you have written as I am just like that when my depression is at its highest, I just want to be left alone and wont to talk to anyone. What I would say to you would be to give her, her space but do let her know that you are there for her and that you care. Try not to push her and respect her feelings and whatever boundaries she has put up for now. When her depression clears and hopefully the medication will help (it usually takes 4-6 weeks to reach therapeutic level) she will remember that you did as she asked and that will mean a lot to her I am sure.
I understand that for you it is a hard situation to grasp and really someone who hasn’t had depression cant really understand exactly how it feels and what it is like to go through it. I am going to post some links for you on depression so you can read up on it...you most likely already have done some research but, a little more never hurts. Also, please do feel free to continue to post here. My thoughts are with you both...take care
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
I hope you ended up having a good Thanksgiving with your girlfriend. Sorry to hear how things are not working great at the moment. When I was first coming to terms with how I felt the hardest person to talk to was my husband. He is the one I love most, yet I just couldn't seem to turn to him even though he so desperately wanted me to, he needed me to, at the time i didn't realise that my depression was affecting him as much as it was me. It took time, probably a few weeks, before I finally managed to talk to him about some of the things that I needed help with, the rest of it i have either shared with the HW memebers or kept to myself. There is something about sharing with people that you don't know, that wont judge you and that can understand what you are going through (even when the problems are different) that makes it a little easier to open up. Knowing that you will never have to face the people you talk to can make it much easier - so if you can make the sugestion that she visits the forum - do it. We're all here.
My husband tried to 'fix' everything at first, and that just made things worse, I felt that I was burdening him, when really I just wanted to make him understand that sometimes it is something specific that gets you down and other times, well othertimes it is absolutely nothing - and trying to explain that nothing in particular is getting you in a state makes you feel quite stupid when someone is determined to find out whats up. I found the worst thing is when my husband used to say "Well, it must be something...", now, he just listens, or gives me a hug, or space etc - he is being really great by learning to judge my 'moods', while I am learning to deal with my issues, past and present.
You do sound like you have done everything you can to help. Letting her know you are there in an unpressured way is the best thing you can do, hopefully she will open up to you or a friend soon. It is within her power not to be like her own mother, maybe she just needs some time to realise it.
Good luck and keep us posted.