where do i start?

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dee37
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 12/5/2006 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I think it's time that I get some help for myself. I just don't know where to start looking. I'm getting very down again, just very stressed, and I'm starting to realize it that I might need someone to talk to. My migraines are getting worse, the other night I almost ended up in the ER it was so bad. After my dad died I just always felt like I was the "strong" one, people even told me that all the time. I'm not so strong anymore, I can't handle things like I used to. Even the smallest thing will set me off, I cry or get mad then the migraine starts.
I looked into my insurance to which psychologist's are on my plan, but I have no idea who to go to. How do you know who's "good"? I just don't know where to start, but I know I have to start taking care of myself.

Dee

hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/5/2006 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dee, I too get migraines and depression. It's a double whammy! Both affect ones quality of life. I'm so proud of you for acknowledging that you need some help. You shouldn't have to do this alone. My suggestion (I've had to do this) is to call three psychologists and ask them to call you back. Tell them that you would like to have a brief telephone conversation before you schedule your appointment. You are going to feel a "rapport" with one or more of them and you can give that one a try. Hange in there!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
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dee37
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 12/5/2006 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Hopefulmigrainer, I didn't even think about doing that, but then again I really can't think straight at all lately. I will definetly do that. Thank you for always being there, it means so much. You really are such a help. I hope that you are feeling better, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dee

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 12/6/2006 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi,
 
I am very sorry to hear about you father.  When a family goes through such grief and you are seen as the strong one you use all of your energy to support everyone else and don't have time to grieve yourself.
 
You are probably grieving now and need some support yourself.  Have you talked to your doctor and asked his/her advice on therapy or medication? 
 
Take care
Victoria
 
Co~Moderator: Depression Forum

Contact me at victoria@healingwell.net

Meds: Effexor (Venlafaxine) 225mg, Lorazepam 0.5mg, Prednisilone 5mg, lactulose 20ml, Mebeverine 30mg.


dee37
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 12/6/2006 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Victoria, Thank you for your kind words. My father died a while ago, but he died so suddenly. It was like he was here one day and gone the next with no warning. I never had the chance to say goodbye or say half the things I wanted. He died about a year after I got engaged so he never got to see me get married. We were close, he was a great dad and a good man. I miss him every day of my life. You're right when you say that I didn't have the time to grieve, I had my mom to take care of, she went out of work on disabitity for a little while and some days couldn't even get out of bed.
I was on Elavil for a long time, but came off of it to go on Topamax for my Migraines. I take Ativan so I can get some sleep. I have to go to my GP anyways to get a referral for anything so I need to talk to him which is ok cause I like him.
I've had alot of losses in my life but my dad hit me hard. Just dealing with alot of other issues over the past 10 years I feel it's time I take care of me. Is that selfish? With my brother dealing with OCD most of his life, my mom being so depressed and now my husband is prediabetic, I freaked the other night again and told them they need to take care of themselves. I can only help, I can't do everything for them anymore, or I'm gonna end up in the hospital. I feel like a punching bag for everyone sometimes and I'm getting tired of it. I really have to get in that mind set that it's all about me now or I'm really going to end up sick, that's just how I feel inside. But once I do that, then the guilt sets in. I feel like I can't win, that's why I need to talk to someone.
Sorry to complain so much, thanks for listening.... again.

Dee

LondonGirl22
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1629
   Posted 12/7/2006 3:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Dee.  I know your family are so important but for once you really need to think about yourself.  It sounds like you have had a horrific time and you have done so well to get through like you have.
I think a visit to your doctor would be good and then you can go from there.  If you can explain to your family how you are feeling, they may understand but I know that might be quite difficult.
 
When someone dies so suddenly its the hardest way.  I lost my best friend that way.  She was murdered.  It is hard when you can't say goodbye.  Im so pleased that you had such a good relationship with your dad, it will help you to remember the good times you had together.
 
He would be so proud of the way you have held your family together and that you have been so strong.  Please try and take some time for yourself, to get well and to grieve.
 
You are in my thoughts, I really do think you are a wonderful strong person
 
Take care x
Victoria
 
Co~Moderator: Depression Forum

Contact me at victoria@healingwell.net

Meds: Effexor (Venlafaxine) 225mg, Lorazepam 0.5mg, Prednisilone 5mg, lactulose 20ml, Mebeverine 30mg.


immunosci
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 326
   Posted 12/7/2006 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Dee. I can strongly relate to your current state. My mother died a little over a year ago after a fairly short, rapidly progressing illness. I too have always been the strong one and helped everyone else. It caught up with me. Four months after my mom died I started seeing a therapist because I have a very long personal and family history of depression. I thought I was doing well between seeing her and having an increase in my antidepressant. Along came this July and I bottomed out. I've had several major bouts of depression, but none like this. It caught me really off guard because I usually have been able to catch the signs that I'm slipping and prevent a bad episode. Not this time. I'm glad you've been able to acknowledge that you need some help. HealingWell is a great first step. My GP suggested a couple of different therapists for me right after my mom died. I talked to each of them for a brief consult. I learned what their approaches to helping grieving patients was and who I had the best vibe with. The one I chose has been a life-saver. Please follow through on talking to your GP about a referral and meds. I know it's not easy to put the needs of those around you (particularly family) to take care of yourself, but I've learned the hard way that you just have to do it and pray that they understand and are supportive. Good luck in finding someone to help you. We're here for you.

Hugs,
Jen
-Formal diagnosis of Crohn's Disease in ileum in July 2005.
-Experienced what were most likely flares for 12-15 ys.
-6-MP, protonix, cymbalta, wellbutrin, trazadone, metamucil capsules, allegra, nasonex.

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