I have the same feelings. I am trying very hard to accept what I have and accept that it will never go away. I am praying for the strength to accept this problem, know that it's always going to be there BUT get well enough that it no longer controls me.
I'm 44 and have just been hospitalized and forced to face the situation. I really wish that I had come to these crossroads sooner.
Dear Lord, Please Grant Me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can, and
The Wisdom to know the difference........Just for Today.