Better days will come...

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Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/20/2006 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been lurking here for quite some time and been reluctant to post because I don't want to admit to myself that I'm going 'there' again. I've had ongoing depression for over 40 years and used everything to fight it from medication to sunshine treatment. I'm still fighting and sometimes I get down... but I'm still fighting.

Just wanted to tell you all that I think of you every day and say a little prayer for us all. I know there are golden days ahead because I've had a few myself in the past and I keep working to get back to them. Some things I have found that help me and may help you...

I force myself to exercise. I have fibromyalgia and a bad ankle so I use swimming at the Y. It's a hassle and difficult to fit in but it helps. I used to walk until my foot gave out on me.

I read escapist literature. I've found historical novels that have good outcomes can get me through a low time and help bring me back up.

I use nature recordings. I discovered this a few years back when I heard a cd with birdsong and music on it while in a small shop. For some reason, nature sounds like waterfalls, waves on the beach and birdsong soothe my soul. Mixed with the right music it makes me feel better. And the best thing is that I can play it while I work on other things.

I fake it until I can make it. When I'm down I just keep going through the motions of everyday life, fixing meals, making beds, washing my hair, everyday stuff until the down days pass. This helps keep me from getting behind and even though I'm kind of robotic while doing it, it's better than just sitting there for me. I get a small sense of accomplishment from keeping the household going.

Don't know if this will help any of you but along with my meds and doc I'm still fighting. Hope you will keep fighting the dark days, too.
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/20/2006 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie,

You have really helped. "The fake it until I can make" hit me hard. I cannot stop.......I did stop and ended up in the hospital.

God Bless
Levonne

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


normalsnofun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 12/20/2006 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie,

I too go through bouts of "Faking it till I make it..." I liked your wording on that. We all have good moments and bad moments but we all have to remember "Tomorrow is another day" it may be good it may not be but all we can do is wake up and do what we need to to get through it we either make it or fake it. I find that music helps me usually something I can sing to or just belt out really loud lol. Thanks for sharing it is always good to know you're not alone.
--Michelle
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...I dont want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am..."
--Goo Goo Dolls

"Those who are different change the world,
Those who are the same keep it that way."

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
--George Bernard Shaw


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 12/21/2006 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   
i don't know, friends.  sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is an on-coming train.
 
warren

Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/21/2006 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL! Warren, you are a stinker! All I know is that when the dark days of the soul settle in I need to keep looking forward or I'll go down into the whirlpool... and I don't like it down there. My being- self aches inside... so I need to reach out to others. I don't want to share my pain, just feel like I'm not alone.
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 12/21/2006 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
jeannie,
 
what?  you want me to be serious.  life is too important to be taken seriously.  now baseball. . . .
 
i know what you mean about coping with the blackness and the dark night(s) of the soul.  i have usually be up fpr others and been miserable inside.  i don't cry out loud - men aren't supposed to cry that way.  yes, it is often verry difficult.  i have almost lost the war on at least 8 occations.  the last time my wife came in just as i was downing a bottle of my opiod pain pills.  it just hurts of bad sometimes.  but we carry on, don't we?  i guess it beats the alternative.  at least i think it does - when my head is screwed on straight.
 
this is too heavy for the holiday season.  read any good tvs recently?  are there any good tvs?  that's another question.
 
warren

1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/21/2006 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie,

I cannot thank you enough. You have made a light come on........I feel alive. I've had two good days!

God Bless and Happy Holidays
Levonne

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/21/2006 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Levonne,
Don't thank me! Just send me some of your sunshine! I live in central Michigan, the land of eternal gray skies. We don't have hurricanes, we don't have mudslides or big forest fires or earthquakes. We don't have any jobs, either! tongue But we have LOTS of cloud cover!!! Today it was so overcast that the streetlights came on at 3 pm!

Warren,
I only watch about four shows on TV. I have too much to do to watch much... Now if I could just go back to that time when I was small and Christmas was all about giggly insides and soooo much waiting instead of lists and shops and not enough time to do anything. Doesn't help that my dad passed away last month. At least he's gonna have a great Christmas!
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


1dayatatime
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 119
   Posted 12/21/2006 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie,

So sorry about your Dad. I am sending you a hug ..........


Levonne

Major Depression, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, ADHD, Binge Eating Disorder, PTSD, Degenerative Disc Disease (post 3 Surgeries including Fusion), Advanced Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, IBS, GERD, Larngopharyngeal Reflux 

God, Please Grant Me,

The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can,

and The Wisdom to know the difference……….Just for Today


hopefulmigrainer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/21/2006 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie, I too am very sorry about your Dad. Will you have family to be around at Christmas time? I hope that this loss brings your family closer - you will need each other so. You will be in my prayers.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
 
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els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 12/22/2006 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Jeannie, Thank you for posting about what gets you though the tough times. 

For me it is weird as I take an antidepressant and am "stable" on it but often I feel the depression just under the surface.  So I have to do things to calm my mind and soul.  Just as you posted...I have one of those Hometics iSound Spa machines that has natures sounds on it and I listen to that, I also have a lot of meditation music on my iPod that I listen to...that is where the iSound comes in handy cause I can pop my iPod into it to charge and play my music on it.  I also have MS and an autonomic disorder and have had to force myself to start exercising everyday.  Funny how now I don’t consider it forcing myself as I look forward to do it and miss the days when I don’t feel that I can go to the gym to walk on the treadmill or whatever.  The exercise makes me feel better physically and mentally as I am doing something good for my body.

I have picked up crocheting and am having fun with it...I think I will make my cat Normandy a blanket for his end of the bed since he like to bury his face in them and act like he is nesting...weird I know.  I also have just recently within the last two weeks have started going back to church and even went to confession which was very hard to do.  But I now feel this huge calm and peace.  It has been 7 years since I have been away from church so this was a huge step for me.

I am so good at hiding my depression until it gets to the point that I am ready to break and then it is too late.  So I have been working on trying to talk to my mom and being more open about my feelings.

I guess everyone just needs try to take an assessment of what they need to accomplish and what the can accomplish and of course just take things one day at a time.


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/22/2006 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Good things happen at Christmas! Glad you have found something to help ease your soul.
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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