This past week has been hell. Half of the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going. You have no idea the way my husband makes me feel. (maybe you do). He hurts me so badly and makes me cry. I know I have to get the courage to leave him but what I think it boils down to is that I'm scared and just plain petrified. I feel so alone and in a very dark deep hole that I can't get out of.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Yes My parents are fully aware of what goes on. They are very old fashion and do not believe in divorce. I don't get much support from them despite they have seen him in action (verbally).
When I went to my doctor she did alot of documenting. Like when the last time he hit me and the kinds of verbal abuse that is thrown at me.
Also my husbands best friend witnessed him throwing me against a wall chocking me to death just within 1 week of having our 3rd. child. His friend litterally had to pull him off of me.
So Yeah other people are aware of his behavior. His family has very little to do with us because I was told that they do not like the way he acts and talks to me and the kids.
My doctor said that maybe when I'm thinking clearer that I will be able to make a move then. Right now I'm on Lexapro. She started me out on Cymbalta but it did not agree with me so she changed me over to Lexapro.
In any event right now I'm just petrified and shaking all over. I guess he likes me like that because he can see that he has me right where he wants me to be WEAK.
I do thank you so much for atleast caring. I will always remember you!
Dear Rainy, I can't find the right words to describe how I feel for you and your kids.
Words might give you some comfort at the dark og hopeless place, where you're at, but words can't change the situation for you and your kids, but action can. Rainy, you've got to leave him... not tomorrow, not a week from now or even a month... but NOW.
I know, it's not easy... I can imagine that it frightens you not knowing what the future brings, but leaving him is the ONLY way towards happier days.
You wrote that he wants you to be weak. But HE is the weak one. Only weak people are violent, and only insane people are capable of hurting kids.
Rainy, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your three kids. I hope you'll find the strenght leave him.